005: Hurt [SCW]
Aug 28, 2016 1:28:28 GMT -5
Post by Admin on Aug 28, 2016 1:28:28 GMT -5
LOCATION: New York City
DATE/TIME: May 12, 2010 || 12:47PM EST
CAMERA STATUS: ON/OFF
The dark-haired former wrestler paused at the end of the hospital corridor, trying to wipe away the tears that stained her face, trying to force herself into some sort of composure for public consumption. Today had been a last-ditch effort, bringing her file to a specialist in the hopes that there was some silver lining somewhere – today's appointment had been an exercise in futility and she wished she'd asked Alex to come with her.
The snarky little voice in the back of her head was reminding her that she could save money on birth control and be able to focus on her career without worry. But the part inside her that she'd been denying so long was curled up in the fetal position, sobbing. Some small part of her insisted that it was better to know for sure than to entertain that silly little sliver of doubt. She wanted to find that part of her and punch it right in the face. Right now all she wanted to do was get back to her car and get the hell out of here. Leaning against the wall she scrubbed at her cheeks with the sleeve of her hooded sweatshirt, taking one deep and shuddering breath after another. She longed for a hug, and a long back rub from her husband. Instead she had to be strong and pretend this had never happened once she got back home.
She knew her best friend Larry Gowan was waiting for her in the entrance, at her insistence, but as she felt her knees come dangerously close to unhinging, she realized she needed something else in the way of moral support. Spotting a women's rest room, she pushed inside and sank to her knees on the floor beside the sink after locking the door. Fumbling with the zipper on her purse, she finally managed to get it open, and found her cell phone amid the rest of the crap inside. Punching a familiar number, she counted off the rings, hoping that her husband was at home.
Her wish would be granted, though it took a few rings for the answer to come. With what sounded like a half awake man on the other end, her husband picked up, stifling a yawn and failing in the attempt. "H...Hello?" It sounded as if he had been in the middle of a dead sleep, or was extremely exhausted.
"Alex..." Kitty's voice caught on a sob, and she cleared her throat suddenly, forcing a brighter sound into her voice. "I..." she hesitated, "sorry. Forgot all about the time difference. I had to call you because I... I just missed you so much." Looking over at the mirror on the wall that was angled for the handicapped, she could see herself, sitting there with tears still trickling down her cheeks. She clutched the phone like it was a lifeline, and in many ways it was. "I didn't wake you, did I?"
"Not too much, I fell asleep without really intending to. That's what I get for trying to watch romantic comedies. I miss you too, still do actually." The sound of shuffling could be heard, sounding like papers in the background before it was muffled and his voice began to sound closer to its normal timbre. "I hope you will be coming home soon. I've been a bit lonely without you..."
LOCATION: Las Vegas, Nevada
DATE/TIME: January 7, 2016 || 12:15AM PST
CAMERA STATUS: ON/OFF
The adrenaline hadn't really faded and as Kitty lifted her hands up to gather her hair into the messy ponytail she usually slept with, she could feel them shaking. Lowering her left, she held it out, watching it tremble, the candlelight winking off her wedding set before she squeezed it into a fist, letting out a soft sigh. Lifting her head, she watched as Mikhail popped the cork on a bottle of her favourite wine, losing herself in the moment as she watched those strong hands, those nimble fingers of his complete the task in a way that made it almost sensual – she wondered if he could feel the weight of her gaze from across the room.
Hannah Hurt's words were echoing in her ears still, bringing a sadistic smile to her lips as she relived the last few moments of the match.
"...because while you've been tending to your husband, to your family, having a holly jolly Christmas and a happy New Year, I've been tending to my business. You're thinking of white picket fences and maybe some little ones running around your feet - which you should get to quickly - that window is closing quicker than you think. Think about the honeymoons and anniversaries and all that grand old stuff..."
It hadn't been enough. Hurting the little bitch had been fun, watching those delusions of grandeur go up in flames, but that slight was still out there. The clock was still ticking in the back of her mind – the machinery was broken but those gears were still turning just fine.
His voice was surprisingly soft as he set the cork aside after having tucked it into his palm while he poured the wine. A murmur of something in Russian, then a gentle, "Princess." A pause as he walked to her to offer her the wine, a tiny upward tic of his lips showing the smile he had inside. But his voice stayed that same tone as he picked up again. "Tell me, where you are."
The distance in her gaze cleared as she looked up at him, taking the glass from his hand with both of hers. "Just now? Reliving how good it felt to unload on that delusional little cunt… if you want the honest truth. Good but not quite good enough." She lifted the glass to her lips, taking a small sip, savoring the tang on her tongue that transported her back in time almost instantly. Closing her eyes, she let that feeling of rightness wash over her. The first time she'd ever drank this particular vintage had been the same weekend they'd formally met. Somehow, someway he'd remembered and had a bottle on hand for their reunion date at the CN Tower's revolving restaurant.
They were more golden when her eyes opened again, almost catlike inscrutable as they fixed on him. "If there hadn't been any witnesses, if nobody else but you had been there, I probably would have killed her and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that."
Mikhail was quiet a moment. "There is a weight that comes with such an act. Be sure you can bear it, if you find you must." There was no judgement in his gaze at her words, nor surprise which might make her wonder. He lifted his hand and gently ran it over her dark hair. "Know this though, that if you ever … I would, for you. Or stand beside you after." He moved to sit next to her but not too close, and he gave her a gesture indicating she could lean against him if she wished.
Her nod was automatic, a sort of softening to her features as she took another swallow of the wine, letting the taste calm her slightly. Slowly, she leaned forward and placed the glass on the table before pulling her legs up onto the couch, leaning against him so that her head was against his shoulder. "I know you would… and that… I wish I could tell you how much that means to know that I'm not on my own. But this isn't the same as Chauncy being an insufferable little child. This… well, it's not really even about the things she said. I'm going to be thirty-five this year so making that leap to more domestic things is natural. I'm not sure what's worse, Mikhail… my reaction to what she said or…" she hesitated, sighing softly as she bit her lip. "History repeats so often that I know the steps by heart. I guess that's what bothers me the most."
He reached across himself to gently run his finger over her cheek. "This is not the same dance, my Princess. Let me show you new steps." He was quiet a moment. "Tell me what it is that weighs on you this way. But only if you wish." Unspoken, that he meant to share the weight of whatever it was. "I would know all of you, Kaitlynn. Even if it takes forever."
She was quiet for a long stretch, trying to find the right place to start even as that gentle touch sent her closer to dissolving into tears. "I was pregnant once," the words came out in the lowest whisper imaginable, "a boy. I had the name all picked out. I wanted to call him Christian… he would have been thirteen this year."
A few things clicked as he listened to what she said, and the emotion behind it despite that low and he felt his heart clench a moment. "I will light a candle, for his memory." He was quiet a moment, and then moved to slip his arm around her back to draw her in closer. "Did you ever…" He paused, weighing how to ask her this delicate question. "Wish another?"
"I did." Her answer came quickly, eyes closing against the prickle of tears. "And I've seen every specialist I could over the years only to get the same answer over and over again… so many tests… so many looks of pity. There's… damage," she sighed, "I never told Alex. I was afraid he would resent me for that. That's the dance I was talking about. That's what came back to me when Hannah made that silly crack about the pitter-patter of little feet – it all came crashing back… supposed to still be enjoying our honeymoon and instead I feel like I'm already set to start spinning a web of lies."
His grip on her never wavered, but he shifted so he could draw her in against his chest. "My Kaitlynn. There are no lies here, simply things we have not ...talked about yet." He kept his breathing level, though his heart was aching for her. "You are, so much to me. If you tell me that you wish for something I naturally want to give it to you. But you know, that I love you. As you are. You are what I never hoped or believed I would have. Tell me ....anything you wish. You are safe, my Princess. My arms are around you."
"I can't ever give you…" she hesitated for a second, burying her face against his chest. "If… if you wished for that ever, I'm sorry. That's all I mean to say. I'm… I don't want to repeat my mistakes. I don't want to lose you over something I can't change. I don't want to lose you over some silly fear of mine."
"Who told you it was silly, Kaitlynn?" His voice softened, but stayed firm. "If you fear, or something bothers you, that matters. Never think that is silly." He paused, to press a kiss to her hair. "I do not know, if I could be such a good parent. I have not had, the best example for this, and considering what I have done…perhaps I would not. Do not be sorry, not for this or anything… the past is gone. We have now, and what lies ahead. Do you see, what I do?"
"I see you, Mikhail, my prince." The words came out hesitantly, her heart aching at the way he viewed himself. "The past… it shaped this, you know? Every bad thing, every pain and sorrow and tear shed was worth it because you came though. You… my perfect… I don't remember how to say it in your language. You are never unworthy, do you understand?"
"Kaitlynn." He paused, holding her tighter and his voice held a suspicious thickness when he started again. "As long as you believe this? Then I will agree, because this is how you see me. I will make this promise to you, to always do my best to not break the faith you put in me." He paused, for a moment just breathing in the fragrance of her hair. "The past shapes us, my Princess. But we are now the masters of this future we create. That is what I believe."
DATE/TIME: May 12, 2010 || 12:47PM EST
CAMERA STATUS: ON/OFF
The dark-haired former wrestler paused at the end of the hospital corridor, trying to wipe away the tears that stained her face, trying to force herself into some sort of composure for public consumption. Today had been a last-ditch effort, bringing her file to a specialist in the hopes that there was some silver lining somewhere – today's appointment had been an exercise in futility and she wished she'd asked Alex to come with her.
The snarky little voice in the back of her head was reminding her that she could save money on birth control and be able to focus on her career without worry. But the part inside her that she'd been denying so long was curled up in the fetal position, sobbing. Some small part of her insisted that it was better to know for sure than to entertain that silly little sliver of doubt. She wanted to find that part of her and punch it right in the face. Right now all she wanted to do was get back to her car and get the hell out of here. Leaning against the wall she scrubbed at her cheeks with the sleeve of her hooded sweatshirt, taking one deep and shuddering breath after another. She longed for a hug, and a long back rub from her husband. Instead she had to be strong and pretend this had never happened once she got back home.
She knew her best friend Larry Gowan was waiting for her in the entrance, at her insistence, but as she felt her knees come dangerously close to unhinging, she realized she needed something else in the way of moral support. Spotting a women's rest room, she pushed inside and sank to her knees on the floor beside the sink after locking the door. Fumbling with the zipper on her purse, she finally managed to get it open, and found her cell phone amid the rest of the crap inside. Punching a familiar number, she counted off the rings, hoping that her husband was at home.
Her wish would be granted, though it took a few rings for the answer to come. With what sounded like a half awake man on the other end, her husband picked up, stifling a yawn and failing in the attempt. "H...Hello?" It sounded as if he had been in the middle of a dead sleep, or was extremely exhausted.
"Alex..." Kitty's voice caught on a sob, and she cleared her throat suddenly, forcing a brighter sound into her voice. "I..." she hesitated, "sorry. Forgot all about the time difference. I had to call you because I... I just missed you so much." Looking over at the mirror on the wall that was angled for the handicapped, she could see herself, sitting there with tears still trickling down her cheeks. She clutched the phone like it was a lifeline, and in many ways it was. "I didn't wake you, did I?"
"Not too much, I fell asleep without really intending to. That's what I get for trying to watch romantic comedies. I miss you too, still do actually." The sound of shuffling could be heard, sounding like papers in the background before it was muffled and his voice began to sound closer to its normal timbre. "I hope you will be coming home soon. I've been a bit lonely without you..."
LOCATION: Las Vegas, Nevada
DATE/TIME: January 7, 2016 || 12:15AM PST
CAMERA STATUS: ON/OFF
The adrenaline hadn't really faded and as Kitty lifted her hands up to gather her hair into the messy ponytail she usually slept with, she could feel them shaking. Lowering her left, she held it out, watching it tremble, the candlelight winking off her wedding set before she squeezed it into a fist, letting out a soft sigh. Lifting her head, she watched as Mikhail popped the cork on a bottle of her favourite wine, losing herself in the moment as she watched those strong hands, those nimble fingers of his complete the task in a way that made it almost sensual – she wondered if he could feel the weight of her gaze from across the room.
Hannah Hurt's words were echoing in her ears still, bringing a sadistic smile to her lips as she relived the last few moments of the match.
"...because while you've been tending to your husband, to your family, having a holly jolly Christmas and a happy New Year, I've been tending to my business. You're thinking of white picket fences and maybe some little ones running around your feet - which you should get to quickly - that window is closing quicker than you think. Think about the honeymoons and anniversaries and all that grand old stuff..."
It hadn't been enough. Hurting the little bitch had been fun, watching those delusions of grandeur go up in flames, but that slight was still out there. The clock was still ticking in the back of her mind – the machinery was broken but those gears were still turning just fine.
His voice was surprisingly soft as he set the cork aside after having tucked it into his palm while he poured the wine. A murmur of something in Russian, then a gentle, "Princess." A pause as he walked to her to offer her the wine, a tiny upward tic of his lips showing the smile he had inside. But his voice stayed that same tone as he picked up again. "Tell me, where you are."
The distance in her gaze cleared as she looked up at him, taking the glass from his hand with both of hers. "Just now? Reliving how good it felt to unload on that delusional little cunt… if you want the honest truth. Good but not quite good enough." She lifted the glass to her lips, taking a small sip, savoring the tang on her tongue that transported her back in time almost instantly. Closing her eyes, she let that feeling of rightness wash over her. The first time she'd ever drank this particular vintage had been the same weekend they'd formally met. Somehow, someway he'd remembered and had a bottle on hand for their reunion date at the CN Tower's revolving restaurant.
They were more golden when her eyes opened again, almost catlike inscrutable as they fixed on him. "If there hadn't been any witnesses, if nobody else but you had been there, I probably would have killed her and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that."
Mikhail was quiet a moment. "There is a weight that comes with such an act. Be sure you can bear it, if you find you must." There was no judgement in his gaze at her words, nor surprise which might make her wonder. He lifted his hand and gently ran it over her dark hair. "Know this though, that if you ever … I would, for you. Or stand beside you after." He moved to sit next to her but not too close, and he gave her a gesture indicating she could lean against him if she wished.
Her nod was automatic, a sort of softening to her features as she took another swallow of the wine, letting the taste calm her slightly. Slowly, she leaned forward and placed the glass on the table before pulling her legs up onto the couch, leaning against him so that her head was against his shoulder. "I know you would… and that… I wish I could tell you how much that means to know that I'm not on my own. But this isn't the same as Chauncy being an insufferable little child. This… well, it's not really even about the things she said. I'm going to be thirty-five this year so making that leap to more domestic things is natural. I'm not sure what's worse, Mikhail… my reaction to what she said or…" she hesitated, sighing softly as she bit her lip. "History repeats so often that I know the steps by heart. I guess that's what bothers me the most."
He reached across himself to gently run his finger over her cheek. "This is not the same dance, my Princess. Let me show you new steps." He was quiet a moment. "Tell me what it is that weighs on you this way. But only if you wish." Unspoken, that he meant to share the weight of whatever it was. "I would know all of you, Kaitlynn. Even if it takes forever."
She was quiet for a long stretch, trying to find the right place to start even as that gentle touch sent her closer to dissolving into tears. "I was pregnant once," the words came out in the lowest whisper imaginable, "a boy. I had the name all picked out. I wanted to call him Christian… he would have been thirteen this year."
A few things clicked as he listened to what she said, and the emotion behind it despite that low and he felt his heart clench a moment. "I will light a candle, for his memory." He was quiet a moment, and then moved to slip his arm around her back to draw her in closer. "Did you ever…" He paused, weighing how to ask her this delicate question. "Wish another?"
"I did." Her answer came quickly, eyes closing against the prickle of tears. "And I've seen every specialist I could over the years only to get the same answer over and over again… so many tests… so many looks of pity. There's… damage," she sighed, "I never told Alex. I was afraid he would resent me for that. That's the dance I was talking about. That's what came back to me when Hannah made that silly crack about the pitter-patter of little feet – it all came crashing back… supposed to still be enjoying our honeymoon and instead I feel like I'm already set to start spinning a web of lies."
His grip on her never wavered, but he shifted so he could draw her in against his chest. "My Kaitlynn. There are no lies here, simply things we have not ...talked about yet." He kept his breathing level, though his heart was aching for her. "You are, so much to me. If you tell me that you wish for something I naturally want to give it to you. But you know, that I love you. As you are. You are what I never hoped or believed I would have. Tell me ....anything you wish. You are safe, my Princess. My arms are around you."
"I can't ever give you…" she hesitated for a second, burying her face against his chest. "If… if you wished for that ever, I'm sorry. That's all I mean to say. I'm… I don't want to repeat my mistakes. I don't want to lose you over something I can't change. I don't want to lose you over some silly fear of mine."
"Who told you it was silly, Kaitlynn?" His voice softened, but stayed firm. "If you fear, or something bothers you, that matters. Never think that is silly." He paused, to press a kiss to her hair. "I do not know, if I could be such a good parent. I have not had, the best example for this, and considering what I have done…perhaps I would not. Do not be sorry, not for this or anything… the past is gone. We have now, and what lies ahead. Do you see, what I do?"
"I see you, Mikhail, my prince." The words came out hesitantly, her heart aching at the way he viewed himself. "The past… it shaped this, you know? Every bad thing, every pain and sorrow and tear shed was worth it because you came though. You… my perfect… I don't remember how to say it in your language. You are never unworthy, do you understand?"
"Kaitlynn." He paused, holding her tighter and his voice held a suspicious thickness when he started again. "As long as you believe this? Then I will agree, because this is how you see me. I will make this promise to you, to always do my best to not break the faith you put in me." He paused, for a moment just breathing in the fragrance of her hair. "The past shapes us, my Princess. But we are now the masters of this future we create. That is what I believe."
