November 30, 2014

(OFF CAMERA: 11-30-2014)

It’s a cool day in the heart of Chicago when the Abominable Showman enters the arena, ready for the last Uprising of the year, the last SVW show of the year. Clad in his hooded sweater and a pair of jeans, because he’s Canadian and laughs at the “cold Illinois weather”. Checking his phone, he notices that a text from his partner, Nessa Wall awaits his attention, instructing him to meet up with her upon his arrival, like a true champion she`s already been here for hours, getting ready. Knowing he has a few things to get off his chest before the match tonight, he has his camera in his gym bag, slung over his shoulder as he walks down the hallway of the Union Center. Coming up on Nessa`s dressing room, he can hear some music playing within, no doubt being used to psych her up. It certainly doesn't sound like anything he'd listen to, but he’s not here to judge. He knocks on the door and waits, hearing nothing but the music still playing and shrugs, suspecting that she can’t hear him, so he turns the knob and walks in.

Nessa has her back to the door, clad in a tiny baby doll tee and hot pink booty shorts as she moves through an aerobics routine that would make Richard Simmons jealous. Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” provides the musical accompaniment and the Snarktopus is actually singing along while she kicks her legs and throws shadow punches at the air. “The haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate…” she spins around and then freezes at the sight of her tag partner standing there in the doorway. “Matthew!” She recovers quickly enough, going over to her iPhone and stopping the song. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. Guess I had that turned up a little too loud, didn’t I?”

With a bemused look on his face, Matthew nods at her question, setting his bag down on the bench. “Just a touch, though it’s possible the crowd of people outdoors didn’t hear you.” he quips, averting his gaze from her somewhat revealing attire. “Getting ready to teach those two airheads a lesson tonight?”

She grins, nodding vigorously. “Absolutely. My gameplan is simple enough. Tonight, I want to make sure that Little Miss Priss doesn’t leave that ring under her own power. I want to make sure that she closes out the year with not one but TWO huge losses. It’s the least I can do for you when you’ve done so much for me.”

“All I’ve done for you Nessa is allow you to shine like you always should have been if it weren’t for all the outside distractions. But, I do appreciate the sentiment. Last week you showed everyone that you and you alone are a force to be reckoned with and the two of us together? Unstoppable in a 2 on 2 scenario.” Stone produces the camera from within his bag and sets up the tripod, glancing over at the Snarktopus. “Did you want to shower or change or anything before we tell the world what we already know?”

She shook her head, “I’m not that sweaty, really. I’d just gotten started when you came in-- I’ll change after we’re done talking.” Folding her arms across her chest, the move shows off the matching pink sports bra she has on under the tiny little tee, leaving little to the imagination. “We’ve still got a few hours before the doors open… ample time to do this and then relax for a while.”

Stone raises his eyebrow slightly as he looks her over after folding her arms, not wanting to complain about her outfit. “Relaxing is something you can do, I’ve got some preparation to take care of. But if you’re good to go, I’m ready.”

“Ready, willing and able, sweetie. Let’s roll.”

Stone nods, ensuring the camera is ready and pressing record…

---

The scene opens up on our hero, Matt Stone backing away from the camera and stopping beside his beloved Tag Team partner and reigning Pride Champion, Nessa Wall, both of whom looking determined for this interview. There’s no green screen set up, no elaborate setting or obvious metaphors to play off of this week, just the two competitors ready to tell it like it is as only they can. For once, Nessa licks her lips, that familiar smirk in place on them before she begins to speak.

Nessa: It’s somewhat disappointing that with every single able-bodied competitor on the roster for Misty Whitmore to choose as a partner for tonight’s little dance, that she selected the ONLY one to have ever secured a legitimate win over my partner. I find that a little telling, honestly. Nothing like making the feeble attempt to stack the deck in your favour, eh, Misty?

Matt: You may be disappointed in her selection Nessa, but I’m not. I’m glad Misty went out and found one of, if not the biggest hypocrites currently employed by SVW. Let’s face it, last time we met, Linda Raghead said regardless of the outcome, she would be done with me, she was going to move on. Well, clearly she hasn’t. Unlike that frosty cartoon character, Linda seems to have a rather difficult time with letting things go. If Linda thought that her win, if you really want to call it that, over me was a feather in her cap, I say let her think that. Freya thought the same thing until she teamed with Misty and I gave her the receipt I owed her. I owe Linda something similar, and with the other variables remaining the same, being my lovely partner in Nessa and her horrid partner in Misty, I can’t see this match going anywhere but our way.

Nessa: And really, Misty has given us-- well me, really-- an early Christmas gift. She’s essentially handed an opportunity to right the terrible injustice I did towards poor Matthew here. Like he just said, history has a funny way of repeating itself where redemption and Misty Whitmore’s tag team partners are concerned. The poor thing is going to be beside herself, I’m sure, when she falls flat on her face yet again, dragging poor Linda down with her.

She moves away from the camera, knowing that Matt will pick up the slack as she approaches her purse that’s sitting on the bench. Her movements can be seen in the mirror behind Matt Stone.

Matt: Which, of course, is a shame considering how much of a pounding Misty’s face has been taking lately. It can be spun anyway you want it to be, but time after time I have laid out the former Pride Champion with one kick and I can do that in a fraction of a second. I’ll strike without warning like automatic billing and there isn’t a thing that her nor Lindy can do about it. The best part though? They actually think that a fan can act as their equalizer. That, in and of itself says that they need help to beat us, just like Stark and Cara needed, I refuse to acknowledge that we have the same surname. This match isn’t just about redemption for me though, this is about redemption for us. Nessa and I should have won this entire tag tournament going around, that’s no secret. It took someone trying to permanently blind me to allow us to fall, and I still should have been there for Nessa despite that…uhh...

In the background, Nessa is leaning over the bench now, reaching for her fallen tube of Chapstick. She seems to be completely oblivious to the fact that her perfect buns are on display, accentuated by the tiny little shorts she has on. Straightening up, she starts to apply the gloss to her lips before turning around, realizing Matt is silent and staring at her.

Nessa: Honey, is everything okay?

Still staring at her for a couple seconds, he blinks away the image in his head and nods.

Matt: Yeah, uhh, everything’s grand, just wondering if there was something you wanted to add?

Hearing his own words he knew how lame that was, he still had plenty he could have said about the upcoming match, but his train of thought had been derailed. Nessa nods, walking back over to join him. Once there, she puts an arm around him and rests her head on his shoulder.

Nessa: We have one thing going for us that you could never dream of manufacturing, Misty. Even with this whole ‘enemy of my enemy is my friend’ nonsense, you and Linda-Lou are still basically strangers, just like you and Freya were. Matthew and I are the best of friends and I trust him implicitly. I know he’ll have my back once that bell rings. Can you say the same about your partner?

After instinctively wrapping his arm around her waist, Matt replies to Nessa’s rhetorical question.

Matt: Of course she can’t, I’m not convinced they’ve even been in the same room for more than ten minutes before. Nessa and I have been on the same page since day one. I know what she’s thinking and she knows what I’m thinking. I know it sounds cliche, but we really can finish each other’s--

Nessa: --sentences. Although I was tempted to say ‘sandwiches’ for a second… feeling a little peckish. Hmm… all this verbal ownage really does work up an appetite, doesn’t it?

She smirks, glancing up at her partner.

Nessa: We’re a well-oiled machine-- that’s the bottom line here. While we might have been egregiously screwed during the opening round of the tournament by outside interference, we are otherwise actually undefeated as a team. Moreover, we’ve actually beaten Misty and her random wrestle-buddy BFF of the week before. This week, well, it’s going to be over quicker than your pathetic little Pride Championship reign was.

Matt: Not to sound too insider, but I wouldn’t call Misty’s reign over so much as just not happening anymore. On behalf of my partner, you’re welcome, world. A few weeks back I tweeted out a promise that I intend on upholding tonight. Linda, you have made it a point to ensure that you were in my way not once, not twice but three times now and while I have absolute faith in my partner’s ability to take you down, I humbly ask that you be left for me. It’s not that I have an issue with facing Misty, because When her and I Collide, if you will, it will be her World that shatters, but for now, I fully intend to end your little comeback Raggy. We have the tools, we have the resources and tonight, we will have the momentum heading into the new year of SVW and I dare the two of you, no, I plead for the two of you to just try to SHUT. US. UP.

Nessa lifts her right hand to her mouth and blows a kiss to the camera as we cut out to black.