August 21, 2015

Matt Stone stood outside, looking up at the building he had been so glad to call home over the past eight months, and really, he had felt it was a home longer than that. Of course it wasn't, he was in Toronto outside of his now ex's apartment, staring at it for what seemed like hours, but in reality it was only minutes. He still had a key, one he was going to use to walk in and collect the rest of his things. He didn't have much, just a few shirts, a gym bag with some basic equipment and some other small trinkets that, quite frankly, he might just leave there anyway as they would remind him of her. He pulled back the hood on the sweatshirt he was wearing, not wanting to appear like a burglar, creeping around at night. Up the steps, stopping for just a moment to look at the little notch in the banister he'd carved one day. It read NEWS, something that brought a smile to his face, and a tear to his eye at the same time.

Rather than lament, he trekked on, walking up the steps and down the hall to her apartment, number 333, her favourite number. Now all that it reminded him of was that he was the third wheel behind her and Kyle. He couldn't even make a big deal out of it, Kyle was his boss, after all. He gets in his face, he gets fired, he gets in Nessa's face, nothing good could possibly come of it. She'd made her choice, and made sure to smile for the camera, knowing full well that the truth would come out and not having a care in the world about that fact. He shook his head, inserting the key in the lock and turning it, granting him access to the other side. He turned the knob, opening the door to see that there was a small sliver of light coming from down the hall.

The muffled sound of voices rose and fell before he realized it was just the TV that had been left on at low volume. Nessa had a tendency to do that when she was out of town, giving the impression that someone was still there to thwart would-be burglars. Tonight, though, she'd left it on because the silence in the apartment was almost unbearable. She'd been in the bathroom with the door closed out of sheer force of habit, washing her face and brushing her teeth when she froze at what sounded like the apartment door opening. Does he still have a key? For the life of her, she couldn't remember an answer to that question, nor could she even recall if she'd locked the door after returning home from the airport - she'd been about to board a plane when she'd gotten the call about her grandfather's passing. The memorial service was going to be tomorrow, just a haphazard gathering thrown together at the last minute by the rest of her incredibly disorganized family. Holding her breath, she pressed up against the wall, wondering if she had an intruder to deal with or something much, much worse.

Matt just shook his head, hearing the noises in the background. He had told her several times that she shouldn't be worried about burglars, even spending money on an alarm system for her simply to ease her mind. He wasn't shocked, however, to hear that it wasn't set, Nessa never could figure out the thing, despite asking him to set the code to her birthday. Hard to forget that day, even now, as it was one of his favourite days over the past year. He was relieved, however, to see that she had tossed all of his things in a corner, a better spot than out the window, at least. Approaching them, he stopped and saw a framed picture of the two of the on a dresser, a frame that he had gotten especially for her shortly after New Year's. She hadn't removed it, or broken it, for that matter, but he was in no mood to try and decode what that meant. He walked passed, kneeling down in front of the gym bag and opening it up, seeing all of his belongings except for one of his 'Shut Me Up' Tees, something that Nessa enjoyed sleeping in, at least she did when he was here. Yes, it was petty, but he wanted that as well, so he zipped up the bag, dropping it by the door before heading down the hall to her bedroom.

Nessa eased the bathroom door open a crack, grabbing her hairbrush as a weapon as she saw the shadow on the wall before Matt moved into view. Feeling her heart sinking, she kept the brush in hand and pulled open the door, stepping into the hallway behind him. "Your things are in the living room," she said softly, surprised that her voice came out perfectly level.

Matt spun around on a dime, Nessa's voice starling him. She wasn't supposed to be here, this was going to be easy: get in, get stuff, get out, but here she was, the petite blonde with the blue eyes he loved gazing into like the sky was to others, so open and full of life and possibilities, but they were clouded now. There was no joy, and really, he didn't have any to express either, so here they were, standing in a rather cramped hallway, looking at one another. That's when he noticed she was wearing his shirt, his eyes narrowing slightly on the logo that represented him, not her. "I know," he said coldly, trying to appear composed though there was at least half a dozen emotions racing through his body. "I was coming for that." He finished, not having the energy to raise his hand to point, though that gesture might have turned into something else if he had.

"You were..." frowning, she looked down at herself, realizing what he meant as soon as she saw the logo. She hadn't thought anything of it, just pulling on the first thing in her pajama drawer. "Oh. I... thought maybe this one wasn't really..." normally, she'd have ripped into him with some scathing remark, but she'd been caught red-handed in her sentimental attempt to hold onto one last thing of his. The letters were starting to crack in a few places, the cotton softer and more worn than it had been when she'd first stolen it from him after he'd worn it down to the ring. It seemed like such a small little thing - he wanted his shirt back, of course, but she couldn't bring herself to even consider bowing to that request. "You should have called first." She snapped the words, clenching the brush tighter in her hand.

Matt stood there, shaking slightly as he tried to remain calm, though he was finding it more and more difficult to do so. He should have called? After what she did, she's annoyed he didn't give her advance warning over anything? It was ludicrous, it was hypocritical and most of all, she was right. He should have called first, though not to warn her, he didn't care about that. He should have called to see if she was home, but she had been looking forward to this weekend for weeks, he knew that, that's why he waited until now to come. "If I thought you'd be here, I would have." His words sounding a little shakier than he had intended, but he was doing his best. "I hadn't planned on opening up a dialogue, or did you not get my tweet?" He asked, obviously making reference to him giving her the cold shoulder over social media, as well as any other means of communication since the article came out.

His tweet? She actually flinched at that, growing angry at herself for letting him see how much that hurt. "You think I'm happy to be here right now? I'm supposed to be in Paris. Instead of croissants at that little cafe I found the last time I was there, I get to look forward to seeing the two sides of the family tomorrow who are still feuding over some ludicrous disagreement ten years ago try and play nice at a funeral. Next time I'll be sure to clear any deaths in my immediate family with you first."

Deaths? Was she really talking to him about death right now? That was enough to set him off in a rant, and once he started talking, he wasn't likely to stop any time soon. "Oh, please, let's talk about death or a moment, shall we? You know, like the death of us, the thing that you so gladly committed just to what? Get ahead in your precious little Adrenaline division? Can't fathom why else you would want to be seen with that blatant womanizer that I have the unfortunate duty of calling a boss. What did he offer you, Nessa? A title match? You better hope you got more out of it than that, because you've got no chance at winning a title in this business without me by your side, or did you forget that you were 0-3 in the Pride division before I showed up? A child beat you, that's right. A little eighteen-year-old punk kept setting you back until that little bitch won it in a match that you, and I'm running out of creative ways to put this, fell flat on your fucking face. The only reason you won that title, hell, the only reason people know your name these days is because of me! I put you on the map, I literally wrote your name in the history books and I carried you on my shoulders for months without ever asking you for anything. I was there for you while Kyle forgot to even book you half the time! It was me, Nessa, but I guess that wasn't good enough, was it? Loyalty, partnership, love, none of those words mean anything to you save for little clichés and idioms you can quote when it suits you, right?"

She couldn't move, couldn't even breathe as his words sunk in. Taking a step back, her eyes were wide as she shook her head. If words could kill, she'd have dropped dead in an instant and all she could think of was how well her plan had worked. On the heels of that, though, was the startling realization how much that look of hatred on his face hurt. "Matt... I..." her voice broke, tears filling her eyes as she shook her head. She should have been furious at his insinuation that she'd needed his help to get past Misty. She'd almost won TWO Future Shock seasons without his help, after all. Somewhere, though, what he said was striking a chord in her. He was right. As far as SVW was concerned, she was nothing without him. "God, you're such an asshole."

"Ha!" He let a single amused chuckle escape his lips, though it was more sarcastic than anything he'd said over their relationship. "That's what you have to say for yourself? You rip out my heart, as if I had one to begin with, and you dropkick it into a garbage can and all you can say about it is to call me an asshole? You were everything to me, you ungrateful witch, and at the drop of a fucking hat you throw it all away, you throw me away so that what? You can feel good about yourself that someone other than me wants you?" he paused for a second, noting the tense. "Wanted you. Well I hope it was fucking worth it, Ness, I really do."

"You wanted me. Right. Of course." She rolled her eyes, a little fire creeping back into her although her voice was shaking slightly and there were still tears in her eyes. "You wanted what? This great ass?" She turned slightly, smacking herself on the butt with the brush in her hand. "You wanted me on your arm when it was convenient but heaven forbid if I ever made a mistake like a human being. Did you ever stop to consider why everyone used that sneeze against you? Well? Did you?" She glared at him. "You want to know what Kyle offered me? A sympathetic ear, Matthew. He took me out for drinks as a friend because I was upset... hell, I'd been upset for weeks and you were too oblivious to even notice. What happened that night isn't something I regret in the least. Right now, I'm wishing I'd thrown myself at someone else sooner."

"An ear?" He asked, almost dumbfounded. There's no way her motivation to all but destroy him was because someone else was willing to listen to her. "If all you wanted was an ear, I should would have bought you some corn." He said coldly, still trying to wrap his head around it. "Were you looking for someone to listen, Nessa, or did you just not want to talk to me? I was right beside you 24/7 and you never told me you were upset. You don't feel secure enough to talk to me about your problems? That's fine, your prerogative, but you can't throw it in my face that I didn't listen when you didn't speak. It's nice to know, though, that you don't regret it, makes me feel better, really, it does. And since you're all-knowing, why don't you enlighten me?"

The scorn in his voice was too much. In the past, it had been a hell of a turn-on for her to listen to him talk to others that way. Having it turned on her was the worst thing imaginable. The hairbrush sailed over his shoulder as she whipped it in his direction and then her hands crashed against his chest as she shoved him, hard. "People don't like you. They think you're a pompous shithead and you know what?" Her voice was bordering on shrill as she shoved him again, "they're right. I shouldn't have to spell it out for you, okay? You're a grown man. You're not stupid!"

He was able to avoid the hairbrush that seemed to be Nessa's favourite prop tonight before getting shoved back against the wall, knocking a picture ajar in the process, but the shock on his face was enough of a sign of pain, more so than the actual physical pain of connecting with the wall. It was hard to focus on what she said, but he picked up enough of it. "You think I care what a bunch of Ragnals and Harmony think of me? They're nothing to me, less than that, it's people like them that make it possible for me to accurately proclaim myself the best. The only person's opinion that I gave a shit about was, surprise surprise, yours, and then you tell not just me, but the world that I'm a piece of garbage that can easily be replaced. I could even forgive that if you didn't pick someone that's clearly not going to be there for you. I've done my best to protect you for months, while Kyle? I'm willing to bet he hasn't even talked to you since!" He shouted, taking a stab and, considering the COO's reputation, it didn't seem like a long shot.

Taking a step back, she stormed past him into the bedroom, suddenly needing to be out of his precious shirt before she completely lost her mind. She started rummaging through the laundry basket that sat at the foot of the bed, looking for something else she could wear so that she could get him out the apartment before she broke down and begged for forgiveness. "Of course he hasn't talked to me," she muttered to herself, not caring if he heard her or not. "Nobody talks to me."

Matt let Nessa by, resisting the urge to stop her from walking away from him and instead ducking into the bathroom she had popped out of. Running the water, he splashed a bit in his face, clearing out a few tears that were ready to burst from his hazel eyes. He wasn't about to show her any weakness, give her the satisfaction of knowing her actions affected him so, and conveniently, he always had a habit of wetting his hair to make it look perfect, so he used that built-in excuse to cover it up. Soaking his right hand, he ran it through his hair, the small brown strands sticking straight up as droplets of water streaked down his forehead. Satisfied, he walked out of the bathroom and towards the hall where he knew Nessa stormed off to. "What are you doing?"

"Here's your stupid fucking shirt." She appeared in the bedroom doorway again in her sports bra and yoga pants, throwing the tee and deliberately making sure it landed at his feet. "Now you can get the hell out."

Matt blinked at her, her appearance now throwing him off. You'd think her standing in only his shirt would be more distracting, but it wasn't, not to him. This is how she looked most of the time and he adored every second of it, at least he had. Realizing he was standing there like an idiot, he reached down and picked up his shirt, somehow even holding it at waist length he could tell it smelled like Nessa. "I don't suppose you want your key back." He said, not even asking, just using it as an excuse to look at her like she was a child, the same condescending look he used to give her when he was teasing her, but it came across as much more real now as he reached in his pocket for the little chain he had it on.

She stared at him in silence for a few seconds before folding her arms across her chest. Her heart was breaking into a million little pieces at that look and she wanted to throw herself at his feet like she had with the t-shirt, begging and pleading with him to stay the night, to stop looking at her like she was the one who'd wronged him first, to hold her and tell her it was okay, that he didn't really hate her. "I think..." she couldn't even complete the sentence as her throat closed up, tears filling her eyes again, "Matt... I..."

His eyes were fixated on her, after everything they had said, he wasn't sure what else she could say to him. "What, Nessa? Did you think of something more creative than pompous shithead to call me? Do you want to rub in how I was actually stupid enough to let you in to my world only for you to turn around and shatter it like some cheap peanut brittle? You know, I should have seen this all coming, what with you sneaking around behind Alex's back with me. I was naïve enough to tell myself it was because you actually cared about me, but I guess that's just your way, isn't it? Well congratulations. You succeeded in whatever it is you wanted to accomplish with this. I know you don't regret it, I just hope you're proud of yourself."

"I'm not." Her voice came out small, defeated. "Do you think maybe... could I please just keep the shirt? Would that be..." she stared at him, unblinking because if she did, those tears were going to fall. "Please, Matt?"

He glanced down at the garment in his hand, then back up to Nessa. "You want to keep this?" He asked, glancing back down at it for a moment. It meant nothing to him, really, and he wouldn't wear it again. "Fine, you can keep it." He replied after a moment, doing exactly what she had done, tossing it at her feet. "Then the next time you look at yourself in the mirror wearing it, you can remember that you were the first person to actually follow through with the slogan."

She sighed, breaking eye contact but not before the tears overflowed, spilling down her cheeks. "Well, at least that's..." her voice shook, "at least I did something." She turned back towards the bedroom, resting her hand against the wall. "If you want the jewelry back... I'll get it. I forgot about that; I'm sorry. Of course you want that back. You can return it, or pawn it or something." She was almost mumbling to herself.

"Jewelry?" He asked, not needing an answer. "I don't care about that, I bought those things for the girl that I loved. If she ever comes back, I want her to have them."

She didn't turn around, there was no way she wanted to see the look on his face with that past tense ringing in her ears still. Resting her head against her arm, she closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, Matthew." Her voice came out soft, barely above a whisper.

Somehow, hearing that just annoyed him further, having it ring hollow after everything else that had been said. "Okay, Nessa." He said, almost whispering it, giving up on actually getting any sort of closure here. He took one last glance at Nessa before walking out of the doorway, heading to the front door to collect his bag, wiping at his own eyes one last time.

"You don't have to go," she said softly, "I love you." Slowly, she turned around, thinking he was still there and that those simple words could fix everything. Instead she was alone and the sound of the door closing served as the only answer she really needed.