004 [vs Helena Noir]
Mar 14, 2017 1:04:25 GMT -5
Post by Admin on Mar 14, 2017 1:04:25 GMT -5
Miami, Florida || Tuesday, January 3, 2017, 8:15 PM (OFF CAMERA)
With everything that had changed over the last six months, one thing had most definitely remained the same. Despite the conversational landmines of super awkward proportions, somehow – some way – they'd made it out of the airport without killing each other or anyone else in the process. Not that she'd really planned on any sort of violence, really. Just that base need to inflict pain had been there, whispering in her ears the same way it had when she'd been in the ring with Kelsey Spencer, telling her to just let it go. It had sounded so much like his voice and now she knew what it meant. Rolling over on the enormous bed, she couldn't help the smile on her face. "Well that's my cardio covered for the next week," Kasey quipped, pushing her hair out of her face.
Staring at the ceiling, Ak wiped the sweat from his brow. "Okay, this is not how I thought today would go…" He rolled onto his side, looking at her, a hand placed onto her cheek. "Although, I will say it was pretty awesome." He smiled, a rare thing at best. "So...what now?"
"Live in the moment?" She had a hopeful look on her face, "at least until reality comes calling."
He nodded. "I can agree to that." He moved his hand from her neck to her chest, gently caressing her pale, warm skin. Seconds passed as he just looked at her, a million questions in his mind.
For a few seconds, she was content to be quiet, simply enjoying everything from his touch and the sound of his voice to the smell of his skin. "Missed this…" she finally said, closing her eyes, "not just… you know… this this but…."
Again, a few moments passed before he found the words he was looking for. "I missed you too, kiddo." There was more than a hint of a smirk at the last word. He placed his head back against the pillow, just looking over to her. "I'd say this is a fine mess we've made, though."
"That damn word." She rested her head against his shoulder, laughing softly. "You did that on purpose." It was easier to focus on the first part rather than acknowledge how right he was, "didn't you? You have no idea how much that fucked me up. Seriously."
"Yeah." He let that single word answer sink in. "You were supposed to hate me. Why didn't you? You were supposed to have moved on, forgotten about me. And calling you that?" Taking a second to think, he shrugged. "Yeah. But...none of it went how I intended."
"Stubborn, remember?" Her fingertips were drawing random patterns on his chest, almost tracing figure-eights over his heart but she wasn't really paying attention. "Don't really hate anyone. People used to give me all kinds of shit for that. Said I was too dumb to know when people weren't worth my time."
"Or maybe, just maybe you always try to see the best in people." He moved his hand to meet hers, slowly moving his hand along her forearm. "I know what I've been in the past. But...you made me realise I can be better than just an angry monster."
"Kinda partial to the monster though. Not gonna lie. Watching you rip someone apart, especially." She lifted her head, meeting his gaze. "But I know. You make me want to be better too. Tried really, really hard."
"The last few months have shown me that there's more to life than bickering with some twat on Twitter, or beating someone senseless in the ring." He thought back, remembering the things he'd done in his career. "I always cared so much about my vendettas, my career. I never had time for a personal life, not before you, not really. And now...now I don't know what to do."
"Don't ask me. I spent a good ten years busting my ass to get into the ring and then to win and then to get back from injury. I'm like so awful at being… me. Why'd you think I don't use my actual name to wrestle?" The irony of that wasn't lost on her for a moment.
"I guess that explains this connection we have, I understand you." He took stock for a moment, mind still abuzz with many questions. He wanted to ask her what would happen next, what she would do about Vinny, when he could next see her, if she'd stay the night. And yet, none of those queries could be formed into words…
It was like on some level she knew where his thoughts had drifted as she let out a soft sigh, "I have an appointment. Tomorrow. With the specialist I was seeing for my neck. You think maybe I could stay the night?"
Taken aback that she seemingly answered his thoughts without him speaking them, he nodded. "Sure. I'd...like that." He shuffled sideways, squeezing his arm under and then around her. "You know this does raise a lot more questions though, right?"
"I know. And you hate questions. And I'm tired because I haven't slept in like forever so…" Kasey snuggled up against his side, "I'm here. You're here. That's what matters, right?"
He nodded. "I suppose so." A silence fell over them and Ak found himself just glad she was there. "I didn't really sleep on the plane, either."
"I don't remember if I said it before." Her voice came out softer, "I'm sorry about your mom."
"It's...thanks." He sighed, lost in the thought.
Kasey tilted her head back, kissing his cheek. "Maybe you should get some rest – we both should."
"Yeah." He closed his eyes, mind still trying to process the day's events. "We can talk more later. Or not, whichever you prefer."
"Mmmm," she planted a few soft kisses on his jaw and neck before settling back against him with a contented sigh, "Play it by ear…" for a few seconds she was silent, like she was close to drifting off. "I'm glad you came back," she finally broke the silence in a small voice, barely above a whisper.
"Me too…"
Staring at the ceiling, Ak wiped the sweat from his brow. "Okay, this is not how I thought today would go…" He rolled onto his side, looking at her, a hand placed onto her cheek. "Although, I will say it was pretty awesome." He smiled, a rare thing at best. "So...what now?"
"Live in the moment?" She had a hopeful look on her face, "at least until reality comes calling."
He nodded. "I can agree to that." He moved his hand from her neck to her chest, gently caressing her pale, warm skin. Seconds passed as he just looked at her, a million questions in his mind.
For a few seconds, she was content to be quiet, simply enjoying everything from his touch and the sound of his voice to the smell of his skin. "Missed this…" she finally said, closing her eyes, "not just… you know… this this but…."
Again, a few moments passed before he found the words he was looking for. "I missed you too, kiddo." There was more than a hint of a smirk at the last word. He placed his head back against the pillow, just looking over to her. "I'd say this is a fine mess we've made, though."
"That damn word." She rested her head against his shoulder, laughing softly. "You did that on purpose." It was easier to focus on the first part rather than acknowledge how right he was, "didn't you? You have no idea how much that fucked me up. Seriously."
"Yeah." He let that single word answer sink in. "You were supposed to hate me. Why didn't you? You were supposed to have moved on, forgotten about me. And calling you that?" Taking a second to think, he shrugged. "Yeah. But...none of it went how I intended."
"Stubborn, remember?" Her fingertips were drawing random patterns on his chest, almost tracing figure-eights over his heart but she wasn't really paying attention. "Don't really hate anyone. People used to give me all kinds of shit for that. Said I was too dumb to know when people weren't worth my time."
"Or maybe, just maybe you always try to see the best in people." He moved his hand to meet hers, slowly moving his hand along her forearm. "I know what I've been in the past. But...you made me realise I can be better than just an angry monster."
"Kinda partial to the monster though. Not gonna lie. Watching you rip someone apart, especially." She lifted her head, meeting his gaze. "But I know. You make me want to be better too. Tried really, really hard."
"The last few months have shown me that there's more to life than bickering with some twat on Twitter, or beating someone senseless in the ring." He thought back, remembering the things he'd done in his career. "I always cared so much about my vendettas, my career. I never had time for a personal life, not before you, not really. And now...now I don't know what to do."
"Don't ask me. I spent a good ten years busting my ass to get into the ring and then to win and then to get back from injury. I'm like so awful at being… me. Why'd you think I don't use my actual name to wrestle?" The irony of that wasn't lost on her for a moment.
"I guess that explains this connection we have, I understand you." He took stock for a moment, mind still abuzz with many questions. He wanted to ask her what would happen next, what she would do about Vinny, when he could next see her, if she'd stay the night. And yet, none of those queries could be formed into words…
It was like on some level she knew where his thoughts had drifted as she let out a soft sigh, "I have an appointment. Tomorrow. With the specialist I was seeing for my neck. You think maybe I could stay the night?"
Taken aback that she seemingly answered his thoughts without him speaking them, he nodded. "Sure. I'd...like that." He shuffled sideways, squeezing his arm under and then around her. "You know this does raise a lot more questions though, right?"
"I know. And you hate questions. And I'm tired because I haven't slept in like forever so…" Kasey snuggled up against his side, "I'm here. You're here. That's what matters, right?"
He nodded. "I suppose so." A silence fell over them and Ak found himself just glad she was there. "I didn't really sleep on the plane, either."
"I don't remember if I said it before." Her voice came out softer, "I'm sorry about your mom."
"It's...thanks." He sighed, lost in the thought.
Kasey tilted her head back, kissing his cheek. "Maybe you should get some rest – we both should."
"Yeah." He closed his eyes, mind still trying to process the day's events. "We can talk more later. Or not, whichever you prefer."
"Mmmm," she planted a few soft kisses on his jaw and neck before settling back against him with a contented sigh, "Play it by ear…" for a few seconds she was silent, like she was close to drifting off. "I'm glad you came back," she finally broke the silence in a small voice, barely above a whisper.
"Me too…"
Charlotte, NC || Sunday, January 8, 2017, 11:15 PM (OFF CAMERA)
Sitting on the floor with her back against the wall, sandwiched in between the couch and the wall, Kasey felt a little like a rebellious teenager in the otherwise silent little house. She laughed softly into the phone, realising she'd been spacing out completely into that comfortable silence that Akragth had always seemed to appreciate. "I should probably go to bed. Long day...not coherent anymore." She laughed again, shaking her head, "but I mean, it's been really nice to hear your voice before sleep. Guess I'm sappy that way."
"A little," he replied, "but I wasn't complaining."
"Don't want me falling asleep on you and snoring in your ear until my phone dies – I totally will do that if you don't cut me off so…. I'll call you when I wake up?"
"Sure, suits me."
Kasey couldn't keep herself from grinning. "Okay. Until then...don't miss me too much."
"I can only try." He paused for a second, making her wonder what he was thinking before he simply said, "night."
"Night! And uhm..." her voice dropped to a whisper, "I love you."
"I know...sleep well."
"I'm gonna try," she replied even though he'd already hung up. She sat there like an idiot, staring at the screen of her phone for a few seconds, the glow illuminating the goofy smile on her face before it went dark. The soft exhale from the doorway let her know she wasn't alone and her heart sank. "How," the words caught in her throat and she had to swallow past the lump. Did it really matter how much he'd overheard? She knew she'd been giving him mixed signals for the last few days since she'd returned from Miami – he was clever enough to figure out why even though she'd done her best to pretend everything was the same. "Vinny, I…"
Not saying a thing at all, he just walked into the bedroom. Once in the bedroom he grabbed a suitcase. Going through drawers, he began packing clothes into the case. Fighting back the tears, he sniffled loudly before carrying on.
Kasey got up, knowing she had to at least try to smooth things over a little. The last thing she wanted was him to be hurt in this whole mess. "Vinny. I can explain. I mean, if you want me to. I'll tell you. Just…" seeing him packing his things was like a knife twisting in her guts.
Vinny stopped and looked at her, tears rolling down his face. "Explain to me. Explain what? How I'm never going to be good enough for you? I'm not going to be second best or made a fool of for anyone, not even the only woman I've truly loved." He sat down on the bed, wiping his eyes, trying to stay calm.
"No. Please don't say that. You're great, okay? You really are. I'm not good enough for someone like you. I never…" she paused, torn between the urge to try and comfort him and wanting desperately to just flee the situation. Giving in to the former, she went to where he sat. "It's not you. It's," she didn't finish, biting her lip before she said that trite bullshit. She'd never been the one to do the leaving before and this was all unfamiliar territory. "Oh God. Please don't cry. I'm not worth it. I'm really, really not."
"Go on finish. Say the, 'it's not you, it's me' thing." Vinny sighed as he looked at Kasey. "I love you but I can't be around you. You want him, not me." Vinny took her hand in his and looked at her engagement ring. "Such a shame. I could've treated you like you were number one but it's clear you don't feel the same." Vinny paused, looking up at her. "I have to leave, your heart don't belong to me like mine does to you." He let go of her hand and went back to packing.
She watched, feeling that irrational panic building. "I do too love you!" She protested, almost childishly. "But I can't just switch off the feelings I have for him – for Ak – okay? I wanted to. I really did. God help me, I fuckin' tried! And in Miami he kept telling me to just be happy with you but I…" she swallowed hard, feeling her own tears filling her eyes. "I can't. I just can't, Vinny. And I know it's stupid and I know you're good and kind and won't ever leave me and you'd be the best husband ever but if I stayed with you… if I married you then I'd always be pining… I'd always be half-broken wondering 'what if' and that's not at all fair to you. You deserve someone who will appreciate your big heart. Someone who only wants to be with you. Not someone settling because the person they really loved made a dumbass mistake. People deserve second chances… and I know that's unfair to you. I do. I just can't… you have to try and understand!" The tears were streaming down her face now, her breath hitching. "I never should have said yes but I wanted to be good enough for you… for someone. I wanted to be safe a-and loved."
"Please stop. I get it. I love you enough to know, you and I were good together but can never be together. Just be happy, and I'll go home, mend my broken heart." Vinny looked away, "I hate him; I wish he'd never come back." Kasey could hear the venom in his words when he said that. "If I forgot something send it on to me; I'm going back to Los Angeles. Goodbye, Kasey." Vinny leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. "Look after yourself and take care. I just need to be alone right now." He got up and headed for the bedroom door.
She stood there frozen, wanting to tell him to stop but she couldn't find the words. "Be…" her voice cracked, "safe." She was talking to his back, knowing by the slump of his shoulders that he was breaking down more than he had when he was sitting on the bed. "Remember… I did love you as much as I could." She whispered the words, her voice hoarse like she'd been screaming. Shaking her head, she buried her face in her hands, not wanting to watch him go even though she knew it was her punishment for being so horribly selfish.
Vinny knew if he'd turned around that he wouldn't be able to leave. "I'll always remember the good times. Just remember to be happy. I hope everything works out for you." With that he left, stopping at the front door, finally looking back. "I'll miss you." He whispered, knowing she probably wouldn't hear him, knowing that if she called him back, he'd stay. She didn't. Of course she didn't. Dejected, heartbroken, he opened the front door, walking away from the one thing he'd been absolutely sure about.
Kasey stood in the hallway, one hand against the wall. She watched him go, moving to the window to watch his taillights fade away into the night. The engagement ring was digging into her palm, clutched in her fist – she'd meant to give it back but she'd been too slow and now it was a cold, hard reminder of what sort of awful person she really was. "Congratulations," she murmured, her breath fogging the glass, "you finally got your wish. You're just like him."
Sitting on the floor with her back against the wall, sandwiched in between the couch and the wall, Kasey felt a little like a rebellious teenager in the otherwise silent little house. She laughed softly into the phone, realising she'd been spacing out completely into that comfortable silence that Akragth had always seemed to appreciate. "I should probably go to bed. Long day...not coherent anymore." She laughed again, shaking her head, "but I mean, it's been really nice to hear your voice before sleep. Guess I'm sappy that way."
"A little," he replied, "but I wasn't complaining."
"Don't want me falling asleep on you and snoring in your ear until my phone dies – I totally will do that if you don't cut me off so…. I'll call you when I wake up?"
"Sure, suits me."
Kasey couldn't keep herself from grinning. "Okay. Until then...don't miss me too much."
"I can only try." He paused for a second, making her wonder what he was thinking before he simply said, "night."
"Night! And uhm..." her voice dropped to a whisper, "I love you."
"I know...sleep well."
"I'm gonna try," she replied even though he'd already hung up. She sat there like an idiot, staring at the screen of her phone for a few seconds, the glow illuminating the goofy smile on her face before it went dark. The soft exhale from the doorway let her know she wasn't alone and her heart sank. "How," the words caught in her throat and she had to swallow past the lump. Did it really matter how much he'd overheard? She knew she'd been giving him mixed signals for the last few days since she'd returned from Miami – he was clever enough to figure out why even though she'd done her best to pretend everything was the same. "Vinny, I…"
Not saying a thing at all, he just walked into the bedroom. Once in the bedroom he grabbed a suitcase. Going through drawers, he began packing clothes into the case. Fighting back the tears, he sniffled loudly before carrying on.
Kasey got up, knowing she had to at least try to smooth things over a little. The last thing she wanted was him to be hurt in this whole mess. "Vinny. I can explain. I mean, if you want me to. I'll tell you. Just…" seeing him packing his things was like a knife twisting in her guts.
Vinny stopped and looked at her, tears rolling down his face. "Explain to me. Explain what? How I'm never going to be good enough for you? I'm not going to be second best or made a fool of for anyone, not even the only woman I've truly loved." He sat down on the bed, wiping his eyes, trying to stay calm.
"No. Please don't say that. You're great, okay? You really are. I'm not good enough for someone like you. I never…" she paused, torn between the urge to try and comfort him and wanting desperately to just flee the situation. Giving in to the former, she went to where he sat. "It's not you. It's," she didn't finish, biting her lip before she said that trite bullshit. She'd never been the one to do the leaving before and this was all unfamiliar territory. "Oh God. Please don't cry. I'm not worth it. I'm really, really not."
"Go on finish. Say the, 'it's not you, it's me' thing." Vinny sighed as he looked at Kasey. "I love you but I can't be around you. You want him, not me." Vinny took her hand in his and looked at her engagement ring. "Such a shame. I could've treated you like you were number one but it's clear you don't feel the same." Vinny paused, looking up at her. "I have to leave, your heart don't belong to me like mine does to you." He let go of her hand and went back to packing.
She watched, feeling that irrational panic building. "I do too love you!" She protested, almost childishly. "But I can't just switch off the feelings I have for him – for Ak – okay? I wanted to. I really did. God help me, I fuckin' tried! And in Miami he kept telling me to just be happy with you but I…" she swallowed hard, feeling her own tears filling her eyes. "I can't. I just can't, Vinny. And I know it's stupid and I know you're good and kind and won't ever leave me and you'd be the best husband ever but if I stayed with you… if I married you then I'd always be pining… I'd always be half-broken wondering 'what if' and that's not at all fair to you. You deserve someone who will appreciate your big heart. Someone who only wants to be with you. Not someone settling because the person they really loved made a dumbass mistake. People deserve second chances… and I know that's unfair to you. I do. I just can't… you have to try and understand!" The tears were streaming down her face now, her breath hitching. "I never should have said yes but I wanted to be good enough for you… for someone. I wanted to be safe a-and loved."
"Please stop. I get it. I love you enough to know, you and I were good together but can never be together. Just be happy, and I'll go home, mend my broken heart." Vinny looked away, "I hate him; I wish he'd never come back." Kasey could hear the venom in his words when he said that. "If I forgot something send it on to me; I'm going back to Los Angeles. Goodbye, Kasey." Vinny leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. "Look after yourself and take care. I just need to be alone right now." He got up and headed for the bedroom door.
She stood there frozen, wanting to tell him to stop but she couldn't find the words. "Be…" her voice cracked, "safe." She was talking to his back, knowing by the slump of his shoulders that he was breaking down more than he had when he was sitting on the bed. "Remember… I did love you as much as I could." She whispered the words, her voice hoarse like she'd been screaming. Shaking her head, she buried her face in her hands, not wanting to watch him go even though she knew it was her punishment for being so horribly selfish.
Vinny knew if he'd turned around that he wouldn't be able to leave. "I'll always remember the good times. Just remember to be happy. I hope everything works out for you." With that he left, stopping at the front door, finally looking back. "I'll miss you." He whispered, knowing she probably wouldn't hear him, knowing that if she called him back, he'd stay. She didn't. Of course she didn't. Dejected, heartbroken, he opened the front door, walking away from the one thing he'd been absolutely sure about.
Kasey stood in the hallway, one hand against the wall. She watched him go, moving to the window to watch his taillights fade away into the night. The engagement ring was digging into her palm, clutched in her fist – she'd meant to give it back but she'd been too slow and now it was a cold, hard reminder of what sort of awful person she really was. "Congratulations," she murmured, her breath fogging the glass, "you finally got your wish. You're just like him."
