Part Two, Electric Boogaloo

In the blind panic that had followed Snarktastic's loss to State of Anarchy, Nessa had been focused on one thing: she needed to get the hell out of Australia. With the echoes of the crowd's ecstatic cheers still ringing in her ears, she'd logged into Expedia, cashing in the last of her frequent flyer miles for a last-minute flight. She hadn't even bothered to pack much beyond toiletries and the few pairs of shoes she knew she couldn't live without, tossing everything haphazardly into the smallest case of the matching luggage Shawn had bought her when they'd finally decided to move here together. Sixteen hours in the air had passed by in a blur. She’d slept through most of it, aided by sleeping pills that she was surprised still worked since she’d stopped taking them almost a year ago, and by the time the plane was touching down at Toronto’s Billy Bishop airport, she finally felt the anxiety creep back a notch.

Of course, she’d forgotten the charger for her phone and the damned thing wouldn’t turn back on. The Apple logo kept flashing and then it would go dark. Probably twenty-four hours had passed by the time she was inside a hotel room, wrapped in a plush robe and looking out at the view of the purple and red CN Tower standing tall over the city she used to call home. It seemed smaller. Maybe it was because of the buildings she didn’t remember being there before, more expensive condos scraping the sky, ruining the waterfront view.

The phone on the bed chirped, finally coming back to life thanks to a charger she’d had the hotel concierge find for her and then it was flashing and blinking and vibrating as all the notices came up. She ignored Twitter - she’d deal with that mess later. She had almost a dozen missed calls, all of them from Shawn and the sight of his name on the screen made her eyes fill with tears. A moment later they were rolling down her face and she was sitting on the floor, sobbing. Everything was ruined once again.

She remembered the day Matt Stone had come to get his things. She remembered the day she’d gone to San Diego and had collected her clothes and shoes from Matt Ford’s house - she remembered that stupid painting she’d had commissioned hanging there in the hall to mock her. She remembered the hollowness she’d felt, that desperation and that panic and then she was typing a message on the phone, not even caring about the time difference.

I’m so sorry for everything but I think it’s best if I just disappear for a little while. I’m sure Cryptic will still book you. Maybe he’ll give you the next shot now that my hands aren’t holding you back. I’m sorry I let you down. I’m sorry for everything. I’m not good enough to be your partner.

Before she could send something so outrageously stupid, she exited the messaging app. She didn’t need to lower herself any further and she knew with the influx of talent like Kelly Fury, her departure was certain to be overlooked. IYHWF would be better off without her. The tag division was thriving without their team and she knew without a shadow of a doubt that they wouldn’t miss her for a single moment.

If he wants you, he’ll come. He’ll call. He’ll give you a sign.

---

She'd been back in Melbourne for all of an hour and instead of going home, Nessa had opted to head to the most unlikely place: Matt Stone’s apartment. A few more hours wouldn't since the twice-delayed flight had caused her to miss Shawn’s match as well as Christmas. Sighing, she squared her shoulders and lifted her hand to knock on the door. It wasn’t five seconds before the door swung open and the owner of the apartment was standing before her, or rather, the tenant because that’s the proper word. Either way, it was Matt Stone greeting her with a rather confused look on his face. There were no visible decorations behind him, and absolutely no signs that there was any major holiday going on at all. In fact, unlike the traditional Canadian attire for this time of year, he was wearing a T-shirt and shorts. His own T-shirt, to be specific. “I thought I heard the whistling of a broom whizzing around.”

She rolled her eyes. “Hilarious, really. Can I come in?” Matt peered around from side to side around her, looking suspicious.

“That depends, am I going to get punched in the face again?”

“Matt, I swear I didn’t…” she shook her head, not wanting to get into that particular subject with him, “I think the odds of him punching me right now are slightly higher. So no. I just want to talk to you. That’s all.”

Matt backs up a step, offering her a way in. “He hits you? Say what you will about me, but I never did that.” He allows her to walk inside the apartment, closing the door behind her. “I hope this isn’t a common occurrence, I’d hate to find a reason to like this guy…” He offers an awkward laugh with that remark.

The fact that she didn’t take the bait and jump to Shawn’s defense was more telling than her silence and she stopped and turned around, folding her arms across her chest. “If you’re going to crack more jokes about me leaving, get them out of your system now.”

Matt scoffed at the request, shaking his head. “Now what would be the fun in that? They’re much better out of nowhere, which is fitting as that’s where you were the last show if I recall correctly.”

“You mean last night?” Nessa frowned, biting her lip. “I wanted to be here for that. The airlines conspired against me. If you mean the one before that, I was busy. Staring at the walls in a Toronto hotel room.”

That forced Matt to pause for a second, raising an eyebrow at her. “A Toronto hotel room? Don’t you live in Toronto? Did you lose your home along with the tag titles? Cause that would just be tragic Nessa.” Matt’s words may have been sympathetic, but his tone was quite the opposite.

“I rented out my place in Toronto. I have a tenant and I wasn’t about to drop in and ask to crash on the couch, even as pathetic as that would have been.” She shook her head, “I’m sick of all the backbiting, all the barbs flying around. If you hate me, that’s… well, expected. I know I’m a loser. I know I’m a coward and I don’t need you to rub that in or make jokes at my expense.”

“You know Nessa, one of the few joys in a breakup is the ability to spit venom at the one that scorned you, but if you’re just going to stand there and take it, I’m afraid that sucks the fun right out of it. If you didn’t come here to be insulted, I doubt you came here to stand by the door either, so might as well make yourself at home since I have a feeling I’m going to need a drink. Would you like one?” He offers, starting to make his way to the kitchen.

“Something strong,” she called after him, making her way over to his couch. She flopped down with a sigh, feeling the exhaustion of that super long flight creeping in the moment her butt made contact. “The thing is,” she kept talking, her voice raised slightly so he could still hear her, “I have no desire to actually fight with you, Matthew. I just wanted to focus on the tag team and…” she trailed off helplessly. Was there even still a tag team? Probably not.

He was fiddling in the kitchen, wondering why his ex-girlfriend was showing up at his place unannounced seemingly not acting like herself. Self-deprecating, undefensive of that Shawn fellow he loathed so much, did something happen between them? Was she pregnant, perhaps? Wait, is that why he was here? After some quick arithmetic, he figured out it had been way over a year since they were together, so that’s not what this was about, he deduced with a sigh of relief. Something to drink, right, he pulled a bottle of Sherry down from a shelf and poured two glasses, walking out to greet her. “No desire at all? That’s odd, now that I’m the number one contender, I would think everyone would want to try and fight me.” He replied handing her one of the glasses. Sherry was always one of her favourite drinks, as he recalled. In fact, she was the reason he had started drinking it in the first place, Nessa was responsible for introducing him to many of the finer things.

Relief was written all over her face as she took a sip of the sweet liquor. “You remembered. I'm almost touched.”

Matt took a seat down beside her, swirling his glass. “Almost touched? A few more glasses in you and we can make sure that’s rectified.” He chuckled at his own little joke, taking a sip of the Sherry. He was pretty sure she wasn’t here for that, either, but having a filter for his mind was never his forte.

She snorted rather indelicately, shaking her head. “You wish,” the snappy reply came out automatically but there wasn’t much heart to it. She took another drink and then turned toward him. “Listen, Matt. Between you and…” hesitating for a moment, she shook her head again, “I came dangerously close to just calling it quits and seeing you taking your cheap little shots was the last thing I wanted to deal with. Don’t expect me to reply to you on Twitter again. I’ve deleted it from my phone. I turned off notices, too. I’m done with all that garbage.”

“Well there goes half my fun on Twitter, too. You just won't be satisfied until you completely ruin my life, will you?” He's not being serious, but there's no point in telling Nessa that. “I don't know why you're so bothered by it, you've lost before and I hate to break it to you, you're going to lose again in the future. I remember how much losing the Pride title meant to you, but you recovered, remember? We went to the spa and by the end of it, you couldn't even spell Pride with how relaxed you were. Why is this different?”

“It’s not about the loss,” she averted her eyes, looking down as she swirled the contents of the glass. “I knew that was going to happen eventually. I’m just sick of being the butt of every joke. I came here to prove I didn’t need....” she stopped herself before she said you, but the meaning was clear enough. “Go on and tell me I’m wrong. I know how badly you want to gloat right now.”

“Oh Nessa…” Matt reached out and brushed her hair back, smiling sympathetically at her. He didn’t like seeing her like this unless he was the one causing it. “You know me so well, but right now I don’t feel like gloating. You’re one of the strongest women I know, your skin is thicker than wood in most cases, we just need to figure out what specifically has been bothering you lately. You’re in what I can only assume is a healthy relationship, you’ve been relatively successful here all on your own and, if you don’t mind me saying, you’re as stunning as ever. So what’s the issue?” He had picked up on her meaning, but wanted her to actually say it if he was going to acknowledge it.

Nessa sighed. “I haven’t had success on my own. I lost to Angelica and she’s never going to let me live that down. I’ll never get that back. You think I want to be another Annabel or Kelsey? Some pathetic little tag team wrestler and nothing else?” She frowned, “there aren’t any cameras here, Matthew. That’s not my goal. I wanted to use the team as a stepping stone. Not as my only damn accomplishment ever!”

Matt couldn’t help but smile at that, he knew she wasn’t just a tag team wrestler. “I can honestly say I have no idea who Annabel or Kelsey are, but you know you’re not just one of them. I have to admit though, if you were going to use something as a stepping stone, I’m a little hurt you didn’t pick me. Who better than...well I’m sure you get where I’m going with this. I’m sure it’s of little consolation, but I have a match with Angelica coming up and I’ll be sure to beat her for the two of us.” He paused, taking a sip of his beverage. “You’ve had plenty of accomplishments Nessa, not just the tag team...let’s not forget your prestigious reign in BWF.”

“Yeah, and my brush with the infamous ‘I love you’ stalker Danny Hall? I’d really rather not. I mean, sure, I’m grateful. I started 2016 with a title reign and I’m ending with... “ she shrugged. “Honestly, the only reason I came back wasn’t for the wrestling.”

“Well I can’t imagine what else would drag you back here to this hellhole. This country is nothing like Canada, it’s December and it’s hot outside! I have a box in my closet full of Matt Stone branded winter hats and I can’t sell them for another six months, what a horrible country!”

“Really?” She was about to snap at him for being so obtuse, switching tracks instead. “The infamous Matt Stone who can sell ice to Inuits can’t sell winter hats in the summer? Say it ain’t so!”

Matt laughed, shaking his head. “I suppose I could, but I don’t want there to be a gang of hoodlums walking around with my name on it. But that’s beside the point, why did you come back, then?”

“For something that’s probably a lost cause.” She didn’t bother to dance around the subject, her voice coming out softly. “Like usual, I did the absolute worst thing. I left.” When he still looked blank, she elaborated, “Shawn. I left him in the middle of the night. Without saying a word.”

“So, you finally left Derwood.” Matt replies with a smirk.

“Not like that, dumbass.” She downed the rest of the sherry, “I didn’t break up with him if that’s what you mean.”

“Oh…” He seemed to be depressed a bit by that news, but he recovered quickly. “So you just up and flew out of here for Christmas without him? I can see how that would be, how did you put it? The worst thing. Why did you do that?” Matt asked, trying to be helpful.

“I…” words failed her and now she was holding that glass so tight it was a wonder it didn’t break. Her nose twitched and she wondered if it was the tears prickling her eyes or something else. “I wasn’t. I didn’t. I just reacted and a part of me expected him to chase me. Like maybe if he did that was going to erase all the belitting and the hurt and the way I’ve started to feel about myself. It’s not these places, Matt. It’s not them. It’s me.”

Matt thought for a second, sensing how stressed out she was. Helen Keller could see it on her face, so of course he did. “You wanted him to chase after you? Didn’t you have similar desires when we broke up? Nessa, you can’t just expect people to know what you want if you don’t tell them. If you don’t talk to him at all, for that matter. For all you know, Shawn could have just assumed you two were done and moved on. Showing up on my doorstep of all people, well to anyone who may have seen you, that’s what it looks like to them, as well.”

She stared down at the empty glass for longer than she really should have, feeling tears welling in her eyes as she sniffled. “Just once it would be great to feel wanted… to know it without a shadow of a doubt but he…” she sniffed again, shaking her head.

“Oh Nessa, don’t cry…” He offered, reaching over and patting her shoulder. “I know that I was never the best at expressing those sorts of things, but you were always wanted to me. Here, I’ll get you another drink, you freshen yourself up a bit.” Matt offered, taking her empty glass after a moment of struggle with her death grip on the glass. He shuffled off to the kitchen again, taking one look back at her. “And I’m sure there are plenty of people that would want you.”

She buried her face in her hands and then leaned against the arm of the couch, taking a deep breath. Thanks to the tears in her eyes she failed to notice the cat hair on what was no doubt the cat’s favourite place to hang out. “That’s awfully nice of you to say given how much of a…” she faltered, feeling a familiar tickle in her sinuses accompanied by a twitch of her nose. Sitting up slightly, she rubbed her hand under her nose. “You know, I really should leave. Don’t worry about the drink, Matt.”

Matt poked his head out from the kitchen door. “Are you sure? So soon? I’m not convinced you should be alone right now, and truth be told, I don’t mind the company either.” The thought of Nessa wanting to suddenly rush out of here made him think of a few things, not that there was a chance of that, was there?

“No,” this time he saw her nose twitch, saw her eyes widen a little as she turned her head to look at him. “I really need to - HAAAACHOO!” She shot to her feet, eyes still streaming but it wasn’t really clear if it was tears or allergies at this point in time. “I really… something on your couch is making my face itch and my nose run and my medication is back at the hotel so…” she started to move towards the door.

“My couch?” He asked, raising a eyebrow as he shot a glance over there, wondering. “I don’t know what it could be, it’s just leather, unless…” Matt paused, his eyes widening a bit in a mix of surprise and horror.

“Unless..?” She turned back to stare at him, blinking away tears.

“Nessa…” He tried to speak calmly, though there was a catch in his voice. “How do you feel about…” before he could finish his sentence, his furry friend, Felony, leapt off the windowsill where it had been bathing in the sun and landed on Nessa’s shoulder. “...cats?” he finished the question a second too late.

She screamed. The cat’s claws dug in through her blouse. The shock turned to outrage as she shrieked again and the cat jumped down, disappearing from the room. “I’m allergic.” Her voice came out a little hoarse thanks to the cloud of cat fur drifting in her face and the yelling she’d just done. “To cats. Among other things.”

“Oh God, I’m so sorry, is there anything I can do?” He asked, coming out of the kitchen, making sure that Felony had left for good. He was used to seeing Nessa like this, she had made it a bit of a habit while they were together. “I might have some of your pills tucked away in my travel bag, I made it a rule to keep plenty of it while we were...well you know.”

“No, no,” she waved him off, trying to laugh even though it came out halfway to a sob. “I’ll be okay. I just need some air.” Her nose twitched again but she managed not to sneeze, “honestly, I would wear an allergy bracelet but it would probably sprain my wrist - don’t worry about it, Matt. I’m not your problem anymore.” Before he could protest, she was already halfway out the door. She was able to hear a half-hearted, “bye Nessa,” on her way out to freedom.