Liar/Lies

Ryann didn't dare move, she kept her head down and her hands between her knees as she sat in the chair. He'd given her a good verbal lashing on the way back from the hotel he'd found her at. After a few minutes she'd stopped listening to his drunken rhetoric. Reluctantly, he'd helped her up the steps to the loft. He'd been nitpicking at her since they'd gotten back and now she was just afraid to move away from the chair, lest she get his wrath more thoroughly. She didn't even look at anything as she sat there in that back brace waiting for more of what she was sure to come from this. Her back was starting to hurt from sitting there though, however her pain medications were gone, and she couldn't do anything with them until tomorrow. So, she sat there, forced to suffer through the physical and the mental pain that she was going through.

The thump against the table beside her startled her so much that she flinched, inflicting more pain on herself. She looked over, and saw a glass of iced tea, already sweating condensation down the sides. Next to the glass were two of her pain pills. "Take them," Jackson growled in a low voice, his voice more broken than usual. He didn't bother to stay at her side, opting instead to stalk across the open space, tension evident in every line of his body. "Don't fuckin' argue... just take them."

She made a face, but didn't say anything, reaching over to take the pills and the tea. She looked between them for only a moment before she put them into her mouth and swallowed them down with the tea. She set it aside once again, waiting for the pain to ease. She just wanted to sleep, but it wasn't difficult for her to see that sleep was a long way off. Sighing hard, she looked down again, but still remained silent.

"You still haven't answered me," he snapped in irritation, turning back to glare at her. "What the hell was this little stunt? Huh?"

She moved her eyes away from where he was, "you ran out with some other little girl, what am I supposed to think?"

"There wasn't any running involved." He muttered, "I was just tryin'..." he broke off, mumbling under his breath. "You're supposed to think that maybe my little mistaken post that blew it all wide open wasn't a mistake. It was a wake-up call, Ryann."

Her brows furrowed and she finally looked back at him, "wait..." She shook her head, "you did this to teach me some kind of lesson?"

He shrugged, chuckling bitterly. "I was bored, babe. Needed a little action to liven things up. You know how it is."

Her chin trembled, her nostrils flaring as her brows furrowed. She snapped out at him, "so I'm boring then?" Her voice took on sarcasm, "so sorry I have a broken back and can't cater to your every need. But hell, Bradley, if that's what it is, then fuck me all you want. Who cares about my back."

He snorted in derision, storming back towards her. "Yeah, there's a fuckin' offer. Lie there like a dead fish and let me fuck you? Goody." He rolled his eyes. "You seriously don't get it, do you? You can't even wrap your head around the simple fact that I'm sick of trying to chisel my way back into your life. You haven't forgiven me for what happened in Russia. You're just tiptoeing around that, when I can see it in your goddamn eyes that the only fuckin' reason you came here was because I kept pushing for it. Goddamn it." He raked a hand through his hair, breathing heavily as he stared down at her.

She shook her head, popping off as she slowly pushed herself up from that chair, taking away from the height difference, "if I didn't fucking want to be here, I wouldn't be here! I thought we were getting somewhere! I thought our life was starting to normalize! I was stupid, naive and wrong!"

"Normal?" He snickered, "what the fuck is normal? Babe, my life has NEVER been anywhere in the same ballpark as that and it never will." He reached out towards her, and all she could see was that bare, fish-belly white stripe on his finger where his ring used to be.

She blinked some, looking at his finger, then back at him. Backing up a step, she shook her head, "where is it?"

He seemed confused until he followed her gaze, glancing down at his hand. "What does it matter? You walked out that door, didn't you?"

She held up her hand, "never took mine off... No matter what happened between us." She looked like she wanted to cry, furrowing her brow again, "we're married, for better or for worse, remember?"

"Yeah, for better or worse... 'til death." The last word took on an ominous twist as he stared at her. "Fuck, are you going to cry? Over a goddamn ring?"

She slowly tried to hobble away from him towards bed, "you don't get it." Tears came to her eyes, but she struggled to keep them from falling, clenching her fist as she moved slowly away from him.

"I might get it if I knew what the fuck you were talking about." He followed after her, halting her progress as he stepped in front of her. She bumped into him, and before she could lose her balance, his hands closed around her waist, steadying her. "No running away, Ryann. Talk to me."

"You don't want to talk," she finally cried out, "you want physical stuff and when I can't give it to you, you seek it elsewhere." She sniffled, but leaned her head against his chest, "I don't know what to do, I don't want to give up, we've had too much together to let it all go. But I can't deal with you running around with other women! I just can't do it!"

"Ryann." His voice was soft, but still vibrated with authority. "Shut up and listen, alright?" He heard her breathing wetly against his chest as he paused. "I'm only going to say this once. I cheated on you with Tanya. Once, ages ago." He didn't tell her that it was still going on. It wasn't relevant. "You know that, baby. But I didn't do shit with Payton. All I did was take her out in public. Shit, people probably thought she was my goddamn daughter."

"B-but every-oo-ne else saw that she 'loves you so much'," she shook her head against his chest, refusing to look up at him and show him the tears, "we... we had a great night... a-at the club... Then it all... All got r-ruined."

"Everyone else?" He sighed, "how many people were following her at the time? Three, babe. Three damn people saw that, and you're making that into this big deal." It was easier to downplay it, and lie about his feelings towards the other girls. "It's nothing, Ry."

"If it's nothing," she swallowed hard, "then don't talk to her anymore."

"No." He said the word so softly that she thought she'd imagined it.

She struggled to pull away from him, the words hurting and she turned it into more, "then clearly it's more than nothing. Is this all about your bruised little ego?! Is that all I am? Some trophy wife-"

"Bruised ego?" He rolled his eyes, his hands moving up her sides slowly, almost a caress as he stared into her eyes. "I'm attracted to you, babe." He almost growled the words, that rumble deep in his throat as his hands slid over her breasts, coming to rest on her shoulders. "It's nothing because I fuckin' said it's nothing, understand?"

She so badly wanted to call him a liar, but the word wouldn't come out of her mouth. She just stood there, limply as she let him touch her, she had no fight left and she couldn't even start to deal with it. Lowering her head, she mumbled, "yes..."

"Yes, what?" He prodded, taking hold of her chin and forcing her to look up at him. "Do you believe me or not?"

She nodded, "yes, I believe you." She blinked back some tears and looked down again, pulling her face from his grasp. "What more do you want right now? Do you want to go to the bed with me and get some satisfaction? I'll try not to act like a dead fish."

A spark of anger flared in his eyes at her words. "What sort of sick freak do you think I am?" Those hands dug into his shoulders, squeezing hard as he shook her a few times, punctuating his next words. "I. Am. Not. A. Fuckin'. Sadist!" She whined in pain, her eyes wide with fear. He released her so suddenly she almost fell, and he was forced to catch her again.

This time, she couldn't stop the tears, eyes filling and spilling over her cheeks, "l-let... go..." She was hurting, her eyes closing as she told him, "n-need to lay down."

"Fuck." He muttered, stepping back from her. If he was a nicer person, he might have picked her up and carried her there, but he was still angry. Half at himself for his inability to lie his way out of this mess, and half at her insistence that he drop his little flings with Payton and Tanya. "Ryann... baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, ok?" His apology was unclear. She didn't know if he was talking about the physical pain he'd just caused her, or the ache she felt in her heart when she thought back to seeing his carelessly typed words about taking other women out for a date.

She couldn't reply, she didn't try as she pulled from him and slowly tried to make her way towards the bed. She felt so weak, emotionally, physically, she hated this and it made her want to crawl away and hide from the world. It took her longer to reach the bed than it would have any other time, but she managed to get into it, gingerly laying down on her back and closing her eyes, turning her head away from where he was, sobbing softly at all of it.

"Ry?" He sighed as he said her name. It always came to this. She made him feel like a jackass because she felt everything way too deeply for his tastes. "Babe?" She said nothing, but he could tell by the way she was breathing that she was still crying. Asshole or not, every time she cried like that it broke his damn heart and made him stumble in awkwardly trying to patch up her hurt. "I'm..." he looked around the room, spying an empty pack of Camels on the table. "I'm gonna go to the store and get some smokes. You want anything?"

She shook her head, scooting further from him and closer to the wall, "just go. I'm not going to run away again." She felt defeated in her head, a strange place she didn't like to be.

Nothing but silence followed her words, and then she felt the bed shift just the slightest as he rested one knee on it, leaning over her. One warm hand pushed her hair back from her brow in a familiar gesture before his lips brushed hers. "I love you, Ryann." He said nothing more as he withdrew, leaving her alone in silent misery.





She'd overdone it today, going to Physical Therapy, then coming to the airport and standing around, waiting for him. It'd been two weeks since she'd seen him and she wanted to. After everything they'd said to each other, how insecure she was, how she kept thinking he was cheating on her. She couldn't help it, Tanya made her uncomfortable, but at least he came home to her. She shifted in place, uncomfortable as she looked towards the escalators, waiting for him to come down. He'd texted her that he was off the plane. She just wanted to see him, hold him, have him close. She longed for his scent, on something more than the pillow in bed, or the over sized t-shirts she wore in bed. Her green eyes moved again towards where people were starting to file down, and she hoped this was his flight.

It didn't take her long to spot him, despite the fact that his silver-shot hair was covered in a battered Cubs ballcap. She'd have recognized that beat up leather jacket and those broad shoulders that filled it out anywhere. His eyes were scanning the crowd near the baggage carousel, finally settling on her. That smile on his face, the one that actually revealed the dimple in his cheek, was a sight for sore eyes. What seemed like an eternity later, but was actually less than twenty seconds, he was off the escalator and striding towards her through the milling crowd with his eyes locked firmly on hers.

She watched him, but didn't say a word edgewise as he came to her. She was wearing something nice, like he'd asked, but it was neither of the outfits she'd asked about. It was a simple white dress that flowed around her knees, matching the white sandals on her feet. This knowing little smile came to her face as she watched him, tilting her head to one side and not moving from her spot. There was no point.

He chuckled softly as he stopped in front of her, watching her watch him as if it was a game. Once upon a time it had been, and it was bringing back a feeling of almost comforting nostalgia. "Missed you," he murmured, releasing the handle of his carry-on suitcase. Knowing him it had been the only luggage he'd brought with him. He stepped forward into her personal space, almost awkward in a way as he looked down at her. "You look good." He reached out slowly, wrapping his arms around her waist as a sigh slipped from between his lips.

Her eye ticked a little, her back tensing a little with how close he was to her healing back. She swallowed and tilted her head upwards towards him, "I missed you too." She'd worn this dress once before, back in Japan, when she'd put herself at odds with him, when she'd told him that she needed time. Breathing in deeply, she added, "you're not going back to the UK?"

"No," he said the word quietly, watching her reaction. "I'm no rockstar groupie. I just wanted..." he broke off, shaking his head. "Fuck it... doesn't matter. I'm home, Ry." He held her gently as though he was afraid she was going to shatter in his arms, one hand resting against the back of her neck as he bent his head and kissed her softly.

She kissed him back for a short time, sighing softly when she pulled back and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling herself closer. Looking around at the hustle and bustle around them, she muttered, "I know we still have things to talk about. But tonight may not be the night. I'm just glad you're home and you're mine again." She swallowed, and pulled back, looking him in the eye as she added, "there's just one thing I need to know. And I need the truth; please don't lie to me. It'll be let go and forgotten, I just..." she sighed, "did you sleep with Tanya at all while you were there?"

He looked over his shoulder, and then down into her eyes. "Yeah, I did. On Thursday night." He didn't make any excuses, he didn't look angry at the question, he just looked sad in a way. The light in his eyes faded slightly as he stared at her.

She nodded, looking away as her worst fears were confirmed, "it's fine... I think I knew." She breathed in deeply and then tried to let it roll, telling him in a slightly more cheery voice, "let's get out of here."

"Ry," his voice was gruff as he muttered her name, "look at me, baby. It's been... too damn long since we've seen any sort of normal. Please... don't throw this out the window by being jealous."

She didn't look at him, she tried to not let it bother her, but it was hard, "I'm not. I just needed to hear it from your lips. It's ok, it's forgotten and let go of." She sighed softly and pulled on him, "you came home to me, right?"

"I'll always come back to you." He said it without any sort of thought, as if she should already know this basic concept. Reaching down he snagged the handle of his suitcase, and then wrapped his other arm around her. "You ok to walk back to the car?"

She nodded, "I'll be fine."

They both knew she was lying about everything.





With a sigh, Jackson let his head roll back against the cool vinyl seat, peering out the window at the early morning brightness that still stung his eyes behind the dark shades. The airport parking lot was a blur, strobing in and out of focus as his eyes watered. Place was more like the Twilight Zone, with reality slipping away in a haze of arid air and blue sky. "Where the fuck am I?" Truth was he knew where he was on the map. Egypt. A place he'd visited years ago. It had been on the bucket list of places he wanted to see before he died. Sure as shit felt like cashing in that life ticket right now. He pulled the chain out from beneath his sweat-soaked tee, slipping the tip of his pinkie finger into the ring. Her ring. Given back for the second time in the last five months.

"Fuckin' hell," he muttered, sighing as he lit a cigarette. He was pretty sure he hadn't been sober the last time he'd been here. Pretty sure he had no fucking clue how he was going to win this match. He kicked off his boots, swinging his bare feet out into the warm sunshine that washed across the floor. Cheap tiles under his toes, somewhat cooled by the overworked air conditioning. Nothing made sense anymore. Abyss gazing, he sat there in silence, waiting for his head to stop swimming. Exhaustion and the after-effects of too much Xanax to endure the flight. Apparently his plane had landed early. Five minutes early if his battered Timex could be believed. Nine am, an ungodly hour if there ever was one.

He lay back on the bench, pushing the sunglasses up on his forehead so he could put his arm over his eyes. He didn't move other than to lift that cigarette to his lips. He barely breathed. He stayed like that for the next five minutes until he heard the hiss of the doors opening.

Jackson saw her boots first. Heavy black leather Harley-Davidson harness boots that reached her knees. Her legs wrapped in black leather pants, to the black cotton tank top worn under a short-sleeved button-up shirt that concealed her shoulder holster. The lady in black. The expression on her face was one of relief as she pushed her sunglasses up onto her head, pulled him to his feet, and held him tight. He'd asked Jada to pick him up because he knew he'd be too fucked up to drive. Little did he know, she'd already been here six hours earlier to hand her son over to her god-son. Liam arrived tired and happy to see her before she'd asked Mikhail to take him to Germany to keep him safe. It was the best she could do for now.

Cain wouldn't be using him against her again.

He didn't have to.

"Hey handsome...tough flight?"

"Tough everything," he rasped, dropping the cigarette after one last haul and grinding it out under his bare foot. He looked more haggard than usual, and he knew everything that had happened in the last few days was written all over his face. He kept his arms wrapped around her, not just because he needed the comfort, but because he felt dangerously close to a collapse that was just as much emotional as it was physical. "Thanks for coming."

"It's not a problem, I was already here. Come on; let's get you back to the hotel. I booked you a really nice room, or at least as nice as you can get while staying incognito." She kept her arm around him as she led him out the door and to the awaiting SUV. Once he was safely sequestered in the passenger seat, she quickly ran back inside for his bag. The stripper threw the bag in the back and hopped in the driver's seat. It only took a few minutes before they were on their way to the hotel. "Are you going to be all right, hon?"

"I don't know." He answered the question with as much honesty as he could. He'd never really felt a need to lie to her. He let his head rest against the window, closing his eyes slightly against the daylight. "I'm so fuckin' angry right now..." he let the words trail off, not bothering to clarify. She could probably guess who he was mad at, if she tried. "I don't do lonely too well."

All of the drama on Twitter was a big enough hint. Something had obviously happened with Ryann or that old broad Tanya. Cougar or not, it was pretty tacky to sleep with your son's friend. She pulled off of the highway and into the parking lot of their hotel. It wasn't anything outlandish, but it was clean and quiet.

"I know, Jax. Neither do I." Her reply was quiet as she shut off the car, glancing over at him with a somewhat sad expression. Sinn opened the door, grabbing his suitcase before helping him out of the car. She'd made sure to get a room on the first floor, no use in having him kill himself falling down the stairs in his condition.

When he was inside the room and seated on the bed, she plopped down in a heavily padded chair. Sharing his emotional and physical exhaustion, she yawned. Tired from no sleep the past week and the mindfuck she'd been put through the previous day, she felt as ragged as he looked. "Want to tell me about it?"

"She left me." He didn't say anything else as those dark eyes of his bored into hers, daring her to laugh. "Ryann walked out on me." Of all the people in their inner circle, Sinn was the only one who'd known they were still together.

She gave him a half-hearted smile, "What did you do?"

"Fucked Tanya. Hit on Robbyn's friend. She gave me a fuckin' pass on it. Said it was cool because I came home to her, and then lets that fuck Chapman get into her head twenty four hours later. It's over." He flopped on his back on the bed, kicking off his boots again before pulling his legs up. "I really thought she was the one, y'know?"

"Isn't that what you thought about Georgie?" The very name made them both flinch. Georgie Nickles had been nothing but a bad nightmare for the both of them. Jax glared at her. It was an unspoken agreement that she not bring up the most-hated (and dead) bitch in the world. Jada shrugged her shoulders in a silent apology, "Look, she just reminded me a lot of her. Seemingly sweet and innocent little girl wanting to tame the beast called Jackson. I know they appeal to your romantic sense, but you really need to stop dating children. You've been through shit, Jax...a lot of shit. You need someone with similar life experiences."

She leaned forward, pulling a small silver flask out of her back pocket. The stripper took a quick swig before capping it and tossing it across the room. Not his favorite whiskey, but it was whiskey, nonetheless. His hand snapped up, catching it with lightning fast reflexes. "Fuck romance," he pushed up on his elbows and took a pull of the liquor. "I don't need that shit, right?"

"Not if you've got a damn good friend that cares about you." She just smiled, saying for herself as much as for him. She could survive this...just like he could. Besides, who knows...she might get lucky and Jax would take care of her problem for her. He'd already done it once inside the fight circle. If he wanted, she'd pay Ryann another visit and take her for a little vacation in Texas again. It would be a hunting trip the girl wouldn't come back from. "You can't let the bitches get to you...though, if I could, I'd beat the holy hell out of Ozzy for leaving me."

"He's a fuckin' dipshit, babe." He held out the uncapped contraband, making the invitation for her to join him on the bed clear as day. "Why haven't we ever hooked up?" The words were flippant, but they held a little kernel of truth.

"You mean more than just a good fuck?" Her eyebrow went up, honestly unsure of how to answer the question. Sure, they'd slept together plenty of times...hell, Jackson was even her son's godfather. People had told her before that her and Brad would make a good couple, but she'd always seen him as her best friend. Even their ten-second annulled marriage had been more a means to an end than anything else. Hell, he was the only person to never screw her over. "I don't know, Darlin. I guess we've always been busy with our own fucked up romances."

"Yeah." He snorted in derision. "We're suckers for punishment. Truth is I'm actually broken up over this. Didn't expect her to turn. I thought I was her addiction. Turns out I was just some safe place for a jumping off point to some little fairytale. I don't know." He sighed, looking away. "She wanted that family shit. Six kids and a house in the suburbs... fuck." He took another long swallow of the booze before looking up at her. "So, you going to tell me why you're carrying weapons in the airport, or is that rude to ask?"

She held out her hand, wanting the flask back. He quickly obliged and she was taking her own long swig of her favorite poison. "I told you I was going hunting...had a job to do and now it's done. Everyone's safe, except me."

"Except you?" A dark look crossed his features. "What have you gotten yourself mixed up in this time?"

Sinn let out a dark laugh, taking another sip from the flask. "Liam was taken from his cousin's estate in England...took me a week to hunt the bastard down before I got a call as to where he was. Got my prey, my kid is safe with Mikhail and Helena in Germany." She got up from the chair and crawled up onto the bed next to him, staring up at the ceiling. "I did something else and I don't like myself for doing it......you know me, Jax. It takes a heavy load for my damn conscience to start getting the best of me."

"So talk. No judges here." He rolled over on his side, looking down at her face. He knew her well enough to know that she wasn't just spinning a line. There was something seriously wrong.

"The guy that took my kid sent me here to kill someone else in exchange for Liam. I'd do anything to keep him safe...you know that. I...I couldn't pull the trigger at first, Jax. The guy hadn't done anything, but then the bastard who kidnapped Liam showed up and shot him before I could. He told me to hurt him...so I did, ended up fucking the bastard too." He could see the pained look on her face clear as day. He didn't say anything. He knew her track record. How hard she'd been trying and how thin she'd stretched herself over the last few years. Finally quitting the cocaine, getting a steady relationship and all the problems he'd brought her, trying to raise her kid properly. "I don't know why...it was just the rush of adrenaline, I guess. I don't know what the fuck to do."

Jackson sighed, reaching out to pat her on the shoulder. "Want me to kill him for you?" She could tell by the look on his face that he was serious, despite the half-assed smile. "We all make mistakes, Sinn. You aren't exempt from that any more than I am." The hand on her shoulder stirred, fingers fiddling with a lock of her dark hair.

"Yes and no. Yes in the fact that this asshole kidnapped my son and you have a perfectly good excuse and place to kill him. No, in the fact that there's this strange attraction to him." She paused, returning the half-assed smile before running her hand gently down his cheek. "Just seems I've been making more mistakes than good decisions lately."

"You and me both. Must be in the water." He laughed bitterly, letting his eyes drift closed at her touch. "Prob'ly turns you on because he's got you jumping and guessing. You never were into the simple and the mundane."

She snuggled in closer, pressing her lips to his cheek, "Scary thing is, he reminds me of a twisted version of McCoy." Her laugh echoed his as she let her fingers softly massage his scalp. "Guess that's why I like you so much. You're never boring."

"Keep you on your toes, babe." Those deep blue eyes of his opened, fixing on her as a lazy smile crept across his lips. "Maybe what we both need is to forget... get lost in... something else." He shifted, freeing up the arm he'd been laying on and reaching for her. "I'm game if you are." Too much talk, and he knew it, but he couldn't shake the feeling that she needed to make some connection as much as he did. His hand slid down her back and cupped her ass, that smile turning into a crooked smirk.

The stripper rolled her eyes and smiled, rolling over to straddle his waist as her fingers went to work on peeling off the tight leather pants. "I'm always game...Now let's get lost."