Mending Fences
Nov 11, 2018 16:39:18 GMT -5
Post by Admin on Nov 11, 2018 16:39:18 GMT -5
Saturday, September 29, 2018
Being back in Mississippi was too much like being back on the ranch in Texas that he'd grown up on, the one that he'd been born and bred to take over the reins on when his father passed on. Instead, someone else owned the land now. He couldn't help seeing his own childhood home here, from the faded photographs climbing the staircase wall, chronicling the years of the two little girls that Bobby Knix obviously loved from awkward and gap-toothed to beautiful young women on the verge of adulthood. Everything was clean though, as though keeping the dust from settling could keep the disease from eating her father from the inside out - Kayla had been working so hard. He knew how that felt.
He'd watched his own larger-than-life father reduced to a frail stranger over the course of six months. They'd given him four. He made it just past Christmas, the last one he'd had with his sister. The last time any of them had been together, really. He hadn't seen Shirlea in over a year now. She sent the occasional message as if she knew that he needed the reminder that she was still alive. As far as he knew, she was still with that man who called himself Fletch, still blissfully happy. He didn't expect to ever see her again until the day he got word she'd passed away. She'd escaped the Fancher name, the legacy and the only thing she'd ever wanted was the money that hadn't even existed by the time their mother had wasted away to nothing in that godawful home.
The sun was setting behind the barn as he rested his arms on the top rail of the fence, letting his head hang. Going back to New York held no appeal when Devon had abandoned the bar to move back to Nevada in an attempt to reconcile his marriage with Eleanor. He'd gone back to wrestling to try and recapture the spark that had been lost when Vivian had told him she had feelings for someone else. Of course, he'd been terrible at it. He'd done nothing but damage Kasey's standing with the management of Millennium Wrestling - she'd blamed him, of course. She'd fired him and he'd gone back to the apartment above the bar only to find that Sophia had taken her things and left. He'd expected it to happen eventually. He'd never been good at maintaining relationships long-term. He loved deeply. He cared more than they really understood but most of the time, he had trouble communicating. He lost himself in his work. He closed the bar, starting another renovation in the hopes that it would brighten his spirits and when his old friend Ash Devereaux had asked him to come here for a visit, he'd jumped at the chance.
He had nowhere else to go.
Staring at the horizon as the sun sank, he clenched his hands into fists, feeling the anger and despair that he'd been pushing deep inside for so long starting to bubble up. The wooden fence creaked as he leaned against it. He could feel it wobble under his weight, the posts rotten with age.
Bobby Knix would be dead soon and this place would fall into disrepair. The barn would fall down eventually. This fence wouldn't keep anything contained. The grass would overtake everything and nobody would care. He could see it playing out in his mind's eye, as though he could press fast forward and watch the steady progress of time. With a growl low in his throat, he pulled his cowboy booted foot back and slammed the heel into the bottom rung, rewarded with a satisfying crack as the rotten board snapped in two. He kept stomping away, breathing hard, trying to pretend there weren't tears and snot running down his face. He kept going until the posts were the only things left standing. Panting, he fell to his knees among the rubble, letting out a hoarse sob. Just that single sound shattered the silence and then the clearing of a throat made him lift his head, running the sleeve of his plaid shirt under his dripping nose. He didn't look to see who was watching him - didn't want to make eye contact just yet. "I... uh... the boards were rotten. I thought I might rebuild it."
At the age of only twenty-two, Leah Knix felt as though she were carrying the whole world on her shoulders. Since her father had been diagnosed months ago with Stage 4 lung cancer, she'd put her life on hold. Up until six months before, she'd been in college and enjoying her life. That all changed when she'd gone home for spring break. Once her eyes had settled on her father for the first time in months, she'd noticed his weight loss and his coloring. Leah had also noticed that a cough Bobby'd had at Christmas was still going strong.
Knowing something was wrong, she'd pestered him until he came clean. Bobby admitted that he wasn't doing so great. Finding out his lung cancer had entered the final stages and that the cancer had spread to his brain, Leah made a decision. She would take time off from school and her life to care for her father. After months of attempting radiation followed by chemo, nothing had gotten better. The cancer had also found its way to Bobby's liver. Essentially, it was only a matter of time before he left them. Her older sister, Kayla, had also moved back home a few months ago. Together, the girls were making their father as comfortable as possible.
Leah hadn't been sleeping well and had even taken to camping out in Bobby's room in an old recliner, most nights. She was terrified that'd she'd be asleep when he finally passed. This evening Leah found herself outside. Bobby was resting as comfortably as he could and Kayla was sitting up with him.
She had walked out to their old barn, where she found Luke. Staying silent, the young woman wrapped her arms around herself. When she spoke, she took a few steps in his direction. "Thanks... Pretty sure ninety-five percent of this place is rotten."
"Nothing a little work and elbow grease can't fix." Luke's voice came out soft, a little hoarse. Being here had brought out the Southern in him that he tried so hard to banish, trying to avoid contractions and that lazy drawl at all costs. He'd been trying for too long to pretend he was someone else, someone respectable. Now it didn't matter. "Granted, you'd need to be motivated enough, of course. I did most of the grunt work around the ranch when I was a boy: mending fences, mucking out stalls, baling hay." He shrugged, nudging the smashed boards with his boot before glancing over at Leah where she stood. They hadn't said much to each other in the last few days and now he regretted not taking the time out to do so. There'd been a strange sort of pull the moment he'd laid eyes on her and he couldn't explain it. He could feel her pain, see it written in every tense line as she stood there hugging herself. "Tomorrow morning, I'll get some reclaimed wood and fix this. Make it fit to hold horses again."
"Thanks, but...." She trailed off, feeling the prickle of tears. There wouldn't be a need to do any repairs, Bobby would never be able to take care of his farm again. This man wanted to do something to help; she didn't have it in her to refuse. "That would be real nice. Thank you."
"I know what you're thinking." Luke replied, moving a little closer to where she stood. "Busy work helps the mind stay clear, even if it is a futile waste of time. You sit here and do nothing and watch as time gets stolen and it wears on you, Miss Knix. Believe me. In the worst possible way, you do yourself a disservice by haunting the place. If you don't mind me saying so." He sighed, shaking his head. "I watched my father... same as you. Had to be the man, had to keep it all from falling apart. Prostate cancer. Got into his bones, his liver. It was quick and merciless but every day felt like a thousand years or more."
"Call me Leah," she said with an exhale. Hearing that Luke had gone through the same things made the young woman meet his eyes. "It's like time is moving so slow but in a really fast way. Every single day is one less I get with him."
"Yes." Luke nodded, "and every day the good memories fade a little, replaced with the injustice that makes you want to hurt someone, break something just to get it out. If you're lucky, you can hold the laughter and the smiles and remember the better times when you look at him." He moved a little closer to her and then put an arm around her shoulder. It was almost dark now, the light of the day having faded away so quickly and he looked up instinctively, trying to spot the first star, to only see the one so he could make a wish for this girl and her family to escape the pain he couldn't seem to shake. "Your father is a good man, Leah. I can see that in this place, in the way you and your sister are with him."
"One of the best." The moment his arm went around her shoulders, she turned into him. She needed the comfort. Leah had been trying to do so much of this on her own. Between her and Kayla, she was stronger. "I've been taking as many pictures as I can. I just feel like I'll never have enough." Leah rested her head on his shoulder.
"I know." He shifted his stance, wrapping both arms around her as though he needed the comfort just as much as she did. "I hate to say it, I really do, but when the fight is over... you may not want to look at them. They will remind you of the worst and... I do not wish that sort of pain on my worst enemy, let alone you and your sister."
His arms around her was comforting in a way that she hadn't had in a long time. "This isn't fair. Like I know life isn't, but it's just really not fair." Leah blinked her tears her away, not ready to let them fall. "I mean he could get better. It happens, yanno?"
"It does. Sometimes. Miracles happen." His voice came out quieter than before, as if he didn't want to push her over the emotional edge she was standing on. "But I do..." his voice broke, "I do not put much stock in the power of prayer."
Turning her face, Leah leaned into his shoulder. "I used to, but it seems pointless." Her arms went around his waist. "I wanna believe that it's all gonna work out, but it won't." Leah signed, lifting her head and looking up at Lukas. "I'm sorry about your father."
"Thanks. It was a few years ago." He murmured, looking down at her, "funny thing is I should be used to losing people by now. My parents. My sister. The ones I..." he trailed off, shaking his head, "my mother is technically still alive. She just has no idea who anyone is. That... is far harder to bear than... well, you know. I wish it was quicker for her. I know that's awful to say, but I do."
"I get it." She didn't know him well and under different circumstances she would have felt awkward. With Luke, there was a certain amount of easiness. "It'd be the most humane thing."
"Would. But sadly, the universe disagrees." He closed his eyes for a few seconds before letting out another soft sigh. "Would you like to take a walk with me?"
Leah nodded as her head had gone back to his shoulder. "A walk would be okay... the woods out back are nice." She had spent a lot of time playing in them as a child.
"Shall I fetch some bread crumbs from the pantry so we can find our way back?" Luke chuckled softly, keeping his arm around her as he started to stroll around the wreckage of the fence he'd destroyed towards the woods at the back of the property.
Leah stayed close by, not wanting to lose the physical contact. Her arm went around his waist as they walked together. "Nah, I know this land like the back of my hand." As she said it, she felt those tears wanting to fall. She knew after her father passed, they'd be selling the land.
As if he picked up on that thought, Luke spoke softly, making it clear that he was confiding something in her that he hadn't told anyone else. "Making the decision to sell the ranch was the hardest thing I ever did. My sister...she still hasn't truly forgiven me for it. She kept saying if I really cared I would have found a way to make it work. I went over the numbers a thousand times every which way I could and it wasn't...." he trailed off with a sigh. "Sorry. My woes are the least of your worries."
"Don't apologize..." Leah said as they walked. "I'm sure being here with everything going on brings back all sorts of feelings."
"I suppose you could say that." He managed a grim smile as he glanced at her, "repressed feelings is perhaps more accurate. I dove into my work...the bar in New York and then accompanying my sister and..." he paused slightly, "her friend to Australia. It wasn't ideal."
Leah turned so that she was facing him. Her hand came up and rested on his cheek. "I'm glad you came back." Her eyes welled some with tears. "For the first time... I feel like someone understands... Kayla... she doesn't wanna talk about it. I need to...."
"Need to talk?" Luke nodded understanding. "Then I will listen."
"I don't want him to go... There's so much he's gonna miss." She exhaled, tears trailing down her cheeks. "He's never gonna walk me down the aisle... Never gonna have that father daughter dance."
The tears and the sadness in her voice broke his heart. A part of him wanted to shoot down that irrational thought, to point out that her father could record a video, could do something to ensure that could happen when the day came but he didn't think she'd appreciate his pragmatism. He tried for a gentle smile, "maybe your fiancé would be amenable to moving the date up, given the circumstances?" He wasn't even sure she had a boyfriend and couldn't really explain the sudden disappointment that accompanied the thought that she might, let alone keep it from his expression.
Leah's eyes were downcast as she shook her head. "No, I'm not...." A bitter laugh escaped her lips. "I'm not engaged... I don't have anyone waiting in the wings to marry me. It was just a thought, yanno? All the stuff he's gonna miss."
"If it makes you feel any better, I would marry you. You are beautiful and kind and any man should be delighted to spend his days with someone like you, Leah." He genuinely meant it. The conviction was there in his voice. "I would. So you won't be denied that moment. If it means so much to you." At the look of shock on her face, he nodded, warming to the idea himself. Perhaps this could be a solution for them both? "I would ask your father's permission first. Have to be proper, of course. I have to court you the right way." He chuckled and winked, reaching for her hand again. "We will fix the fence tomorrow. And mend the rest of things as we go. Deal?"
"You know..." she stumbled over the words, relief written all over her face as she stared up at him. "I can't..." she couldn't put her feelings into words, so instead she stretched up on her tiptoes and planted a kiss on his lips, whispering, "thank you," when it broke.
