CD: Things To Be Thankful For, Part One

Mia hadn't seen her sister-in-law since the wedding. She hadn't spent time with her brother in over a year. Coming to their place in Reno now was just another way of hiding her head in the sand, refusing to deal with the thousands of ways her body had betrayed her this year. She hadn't expected to end up at the home of Brad Jackson, Ellie's biological father. She'd expected something small, something low-key and seeing the man she'd had a brief fling with years ago was just too weird when they both spent the entire meal pretending to be virtual strangers.

Now that they were back at the guest house that Ellie and Devon shared, she couldn't keep herself from unravelling. Tears threatened to overflow at any instant and she wished that she'd insisted Darren come along with her. They'd known each other long enough that Ellie could tell there'd been something weighing on Mia's mind all day.

"I feel like garbage," Mia murmured, finding it easier to make that confession now that she was snuggled up on the couch, huddled under a blanket with a glass of warm cider in her hands. "I'm really happy you guys invited me down." She said with a warm smile, "just the thought of cooking anything on my own…" she forced a laugh, "it's hard trying to cook enough food for two and messing up because no Thanksgiving recipes come in portions like that."

"You're always welcome here, no invite needed." Ellie said as she covered herself with her favorite fleece throw. "Lyv always goes all out for Thanksgiving." Her head was resting on the back of the couch, her eyes feeling like she could drift off. "I'm glad you were here for it."

"It's been a really weird year, hasn't it?" Mia mused, taking a small sip of her drink before setting it on the table. "I mean...between you and Dev and...my career taking off and then getting derailed again…" she sighed.

Ellie lifted her head and looked over at her best friend. "Derailed? I thought now that you had the stomach thing all figured out that…"

Mia shook her head.

"Did you get injured?"

"No. I…" Mia looked down at the blanket, picking at the fuzz. "I... uhm… it looks like I won't be back in the ring for at least a year. If even." She sounded like she was on the verge of tears, "It's just so unfair! I could have been a champion like Kem. Like Carnivore or Jan and instead-"

She broke off at the sound of a cap popping off a bottle of beer. Her brother appeared in the doorway a second later. "What's unfair?"

It started to sink in with Ellie – she had to be wrong. There was no way. Sitting up, she pulled the blanket up more, her gaze moving across the room to the television. "Mia, are you…" She looked back at the woman who was basically her sister.

"Are you sicker than you're telling me?" Devon snapped, pointing the beer bottle at his sister.

"What?" She looked back and forth between the two. Confused, she wasn't even sure what Ellie was thinking.

"Are you pregnant?" Ellie asked.

Mia stared at her for a few seconds before nodding. "Along with all the other tests... it came back when they checked my blood last week... and... I…" her chin quivered.

Ellie could feel her heart sink, a boatload of emotions running through her. Swallowing hard, she brought a hand up and started braiding a strand of her hair – anything to keep her hands busy. "You guys weren't planning for this, were you?"

"Darren doesn't know." She sniffled, watching her brother walk over and sit on the arm of the couch.

Without hesitation, Ellie scooted over and put her arms around Mia. "It's okay." She hated seeing the other woman like this. "And it'll be okay."

"Will it though?" She sighed, blinking away tears. "It's… I don't know what to do! Like do I even keep it?"

Mia couldn't see it, but Ellie winced at the thought of her getting rid of the child. She knew what she'd do, but Mia wasn't her. "You… have to do whatever's best for you." She held her surrogate sister close and rubbed her back.

Neither saw the look on Devon's face, the anger that he was desperately trying to hold back. Slowly, he took a long swallow of his beer before turning towards his wife and sister. "You're so fuckin' stupid, you know that? You could've killed yourself. Wrestling while you were pregnant, Mia? What the fuck was in your head – nothing, that's what!"

"No, wait. It's not-"

"I don't wanna hear excuses," Devon snapped. "And that dumbfuck husband of yours just let this happen? Let you be in danger like that? You mean to tell me that match I watched… you…" he stood up abruptly and stormed from the room. A few seconds later they heard the back-door slamming shut.

"I didn't." Mia's voice came out small, trembling as tears filled her eyes, "it's only a couple weeks, at most. I wasn't then. I swear to God."

Ellie bit her lip, torn between wanting to go after her husband and comforting her best friend. In the end, she kept her arms around Mia. "I know…" She glanced at the door, biting back the feelings of jealousy. "He'll calm down, just needs some time."

"I don't know what to do." Mia whispered, looking in the direction her brother had gone. "I don't think I'm ready. For... any of this."

"Whatever you decide, we're here for you." Devon would cool down, it would just take time.

"I'm not so sure about that. Dev... he isn't gonna be happy with me if I end…" she sniffled, "if I decide not to have it. And… I wouldn't give a baby up for adoption to some random stranger… not… not after how bad that was for both of us."

"You need to tell Darren," Ellie said softly, "why don't you see if you can get him on FaceTime right now and-"

Mia cut her off, "what would you do, El? If you were me?"

Ellie felt a familiar prickle of tears. Swallowing hard, she shook her head. "I'm not a good one to ask."

Mia pulled back from her best friend's embrace, staring at her even as she blinked away her own selfish tears. "What… what is it, El? You're my soul sister and my best friend in the universe… why shouldn't I ask you?"

"It's not my decision," her voice was shaky as she hugged Mia, wishing she could trade places. An accidental pregnancy was never going to be in the cards for her.

"I can't do this." Mia buried her head against Ellie's shoulder, trying to hold back her emotions. "Darren and I… we're in a good place but we haven't really had time to settle in. I can't just throw this at him now." She swallowed hard, closing her eyes. "I know how bad you want to have kids. I've seen the way you are with Jax's… I just wish there was a way we could…" she trailed off, her eyes going wide as she pulled back. "Oh my God. What if we switched? Not like Freaky Friday or whatever. What if like… the reason I'm taking time off is because I'm carrying your baby?" Even as she said it, she could hear how crazy she sounded, how utterly in denial she seemed. "I couldn't just give my baby up for adoption to anyone. What if some evil, crazy person gets them and they live the worst life imaginable? I'd feel guilty forever. But it could… I could… your surrogate. It would make perfect sense!"

Ellie stared at Mia, her eyes widening in shock. She had a hard time believing what she was hearing. "Mia… you can't…"

Now that she'd said it aloud, it sounded like the best idea ever. Maybe she was grasping at straws but the prospect of motherhood, of having to be responsible and raise a child even with her husband's help was unfathomable. "What if my depression comes back? What if...I hate the baby? That happens sometimes."

Ellie didn't know what to say. What Mia was offering was what she'd always wanted.

Mia sniffled and swiped at her nose with the sleeve of her sweater. "I... don't even want to tell Darren. Is that wrong? I don't… I mean he was so amazing with this health scare and he's been so supportive, but things have just gotten stable finally and…"

"I want this baby…" Ellie blurted out before she could stop herself. It was true, though. She knew that if Mia was offering this, there wasn't any way she'd turn it down. Letting out a deep breath, Ellie looked her best friend in the eye. "If this is what you really want, I wouldn't say no. Devon has to agree and I want you to take some time and really think about this. I really don't think you should be hiding this from Darren."

Mia nodded, biting her lip, desperate to keep from breaking down completely. She knew Ellie was right. Darren was her other half, her perfect partner and he really deserved to know, even if she wasn't willing to allow him to have a say in it. "I… I'll talk to him. You're right. I'm being the worst wife and a shitty human being by hiding this. Maybe that's why I feel so insane right now. I don't even know."

"You've got a lot of stuff going on, chick. If you felt sane right now, I'd be shocked." Ellie hugged onto Mia. "You're gonna do what's best, just give yourself time to breathe."