001: Genesis [WWH]

Allegra was asleep in his arms when Lex let himself into his ex-wife's house, carrying his daughter up to her Disney Princess-themed bedroom. He kissed her on the forehead, breathing in that clean scent of her hair and skin, feeling things shifting inside him like tectonic plates. "Love you, Peanut," he whispered, withdrawing before those emotions that were threatening rose up and overwhelmed him. Creeping back down the stairs, he paused in the doorway of the living room. Hannah was laying on the couch, the seventy-pound dog sprawled on top of her and in the blue light of the television, he could see the tears drying on her cheeks.

Your fault, the voice in his head was happy to remind him. Yet another epic Lex Collins failure. You're so good at them now – it's a wonder Jana didn't leave you over that Twitter nonsense like Claire did. If you don't rein it in, she will. You know that, right?

He squeezed his eyes shut, biting his lip. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was playing – he'd never seen it. He'd been against the whole franchise for so long simply because it seemed like everyone was into it. He'd made it half an hour into the first on a flight to Norway back in 2012 before nodding off. Now he wished he knew the plot, could tell if Hannah's tears were from the plight of Harry and his friends or something deeper. Oz lifted his head at the sound of the floor creaking, letting out a soft sigh when he recognized the intruder.

This felt like a life he could have had, the stability and consistency a thing that might have been if he'd been able to put the broken pieces back together sooner. The things he felt here weren't the same ones he felt with Jana. There was no spark, no flutter or flush and he knew that was probably because it was still so new. Being here, it was like opening up an old familiar book, thumbing through the pages to see those words that he knew by heart, feeling that pull against his memories. Finally he broke the silence, his voice loud as he retreated a few steps back to the doorway. "Is this the one where they fight that guy without a nose?"

"Huh?" It took a moment for his question to register and then Hannah's eyes opened, a soft smile on her face as she looked up at him. "Each movie builds up to the big battle." She pushed herself up, Oz taking the time to give her face a few licks before going back to his own nap. Seeing him there, in front of her, was like a dream. She knew it wasn't though and as happy as she wanted to feel that he was actually there spending time with her, it was hard. Soon, he'd be leaving to go back to his life and the main woman in it. This reminder made her smile falter as she looked down at Oz, scratching him behind the ears. "Did you guys have fun, today?"

"We did." Lex sat down at the end of the couch, absently moving her feet before resting them in his lap. "Drove around a bit after we left Loo's because it was so sunny out. We found a field full of flowers so I parked an' we got out. We laid in the grass for a while an' talked about stuff... any ol' thing. There was a circle of toadstools so I told her about fairy rings... prob'ly shouldn't have 'cause she might get bad dreams but I tried to keep it on a kid-friendly level. I taught her the petal thing... daisies, y'know? Weird, too. It's too early for them but there they were anyhow. Like they didn't get the memo, I guess. Rebellious. So yeah, if she starts trashing gardens, it's my fault." His hands were gently rubbing the arches of her feet, mostly to have something to do. He hadn't even thought about it. He'd just started doing it.

Hannah watched him, frozen. It was unexpected but not unwanted. "Sometimes, I think she's an old soul. Wise beyond her years – she gets that from you, I think." Hannah leaned against the back of the couch, watching him carefully, holding in a breath. Finally, she did her best to subtly exhale. "Lex," she said softly, "if you wanted to crash in the guest-room... again... tonight you're welcome to."

"I changed my flight." He said it without looking over at her, the plans he'd made to meet Jana seeming so foreign now. "I'm... uh... headed to New York in the mornin'. So that'd be great." His eyes were on the TV screen even though he had no idea what he was watching. He'd only seen the first Harry Potter movie and had slept through half of it.

"The past few days went by really fast." She brought up her hand and rubbed at her eyes with the sleeve of his old Ramones hoodie. "It's been really nice having you here. Normal." She felt that annoying prickle of tears again. "Goddamnit."

Lex looked over at her, his hands stilling as he caught sight of her swiping away tears. "Hey now. Don't you cry tonight."

"Oh, not that song." She laughed bitterly, "that song..." she wanted to tell him that she'd listened to it so many times over the years because it reminded her of him. Finally, she looked over. "I'm gonna miss you."

"We'll stay in touch," he assured her, not really knowing what else he could say that would make her stop looking like the world was ending.

"I'm not going anywhere." She stopped wiping at the tears and rested her head against Oz. The dog whined as he licked her face. "Just be safe going back home." Her arms went around the dog and hugged him close, afraid to meet Lex's eyes.

"Not goin' home quite yet. Got a bit of training to do. Can't believe they waited 'til this damned show to book me. Fuckin' hell." He muttered, shaking his head. "Supposed to be on our-" he broke off, shaking his head, "supposed to be on home turf an' now it's fuckin' Cleveland instead."

"You're gonna do great." She gave Oz another squeeze, "and they'll regret treating you like crap." It was easier to say that than the words that were on the tip of her tongue. It was so damned hard for her not to beg him to take her back.

"I'll fuck up." He snorted derisively, "it's what I do. Confidence is shot. Whelan shit all over me an' his dumb cunt wife tells me that's what the bad guys do. They tear down an' it's my job to overcome that. Y'know what I'm goddamned sick of, Han? Overcoming."

She sat up, causing Oz to slide down her front. He didn't seem to be bothered by it, settling into her lap instead. The blanket also came down, showing off the hoodie she was wearing. "Whelan and the wife sound like a couple of dips."

"He's a prick." Lex muttered, feeling completely immature. "I hate him. Turned what was a good thing into..." he sighed, "reminds me too much of Freddie. That's the problem."

Hannah fell silent, thinking of what Freddie Lombard, the man better known as Tabula Rasa had done to him. Sure, he'd saved Lex's life, had fished him out of the water in Florida but at what cost? He'd spent months at odds with Lex before twisting the knife in his guts, telling him that he shouldn't have ruined a good blazer on the likes of him.

"That's where it went."

"What?" Hannah followed his gaze, realizing he was seeing the faded Ramones crest on her chest. "Sorry," she said softly, suddenly embarrassed.

"Nah, it's alright." He sighed, reaching out to rub the dog's head. "Whelan doesn't matter but I can't fuckin' move past it, y'know? Claire told me I'm broken... said I get stuck in the past an' have to relive these moments over an' over. Good. Bad. Doesn't matter."

"Lex, that's-"

He held up his hand to silence her. "Nah. It is. That's what fucked us, too. I held all the bad shit in to where I couldn't see any good anymore. With her I kept tryna recapture the magic, the moments where I actually felt like I was the center of her world." He shook his head, "I shouldn't... you don't need to hear this garbage."

"You need to vent and I have two working ears." She reached out and placed a hand on his for a split second. "Best friends, remember?"

"Right." He nodded but didn't say anything more, feeling the residual warmth of her hand. "Think I'd be better off workin' on cars. Less stress."

"Sometimes, you need to change things up." He nodded, opening his mouth to agree, to tell her that he'd been pondering the same thing lately but she kept going, "I resigned from the hospital. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do next, but I'll figure it out."

His eyes widened, "really? I... whoa. I thought you loved nursing?"

"I felt like I was always at work and Allegra wasn't getting the time she deserved. It was a tough decision, but I don't want her to feel like I work more than I'm with her."

He fell silent, thinking about how much he'd have liked it if Clay had been around less often when he'd been growing up. Blinking, he turned back to the TV, surprised at the sudden rush of emotions that thought brought to him. Would Allegra end up resenting him for being gone more often than not, for calling a distant city home? Worse yet, would she be happy he was absent for those long stretches?

Even though the movie was at her favorite part where Harry had just witnessed the return of Lord Voldemort, she shut it off, turning towards Lex as though she sensed that shift in his thoughts. "It'll be easier for you to see Allegra this way," she murmured, "I can bring her to you. We don't have any plans this summer." She shrugged, "that way you don't have to be the one always coming here."

"Oh." Words were beyond him in that moment and he kept on looking at the TV, seeing them reflected like ghosts in the dark glass.

Oz jumped down, wandering out of the room and Hannah shifted position, giving Lex a hug before resting her head on his shoulder. It wasn't in a romantic way; she just wanted the closeness and knew this might be the last time she ever got to do this. "We'll find something that works."

"Something that works," he echoed, closing his eyes. "Definitely need a bit more of that right now, that's for sure." He didn't elaborate. From the way she hugged his arm, he knew she'd picked up what he'd put down. An afternoon spent out in the sun was taking its toll, making him feel drowsy. After all the stress lately, all the second-guessing and self-loathing, it was strange to finally feel some semblance of peace.