006: Exodus: Part Five (Truth AND Consequences)

The carpet in the hallway seemed muted, duller than usual and he hated the fact that it wasn't that old room in The Luxor pyramid. He hated all this subterfuge, all the lies that were wrapped so tight around him that he felt like he was choking all the time. Head throbbing, eyes gritty and burning, he finally made it to the door at the end of the hall and used the key he'd been given at the desk.

Nobody questions things in Vegas. They just accept and go on with their day.

He eased over the threshold, stopping short at the soft woof from Oz as the dog hopped off the couch to come inspect him. He crouched down, feeling the protest in his back and knees from so long sitting and he endured the inspection before the pooch returned to the feet of his master who sat on the couch, watching him. "Hey," he murmured, leaning against the wall to untie his boots, "expected you to be asleep hours ago."

"Trouble sleeping." As nerve-racked as she felt, her own face brightened up as she walked over and wrapped her arms around him, not caring that he was dusty from the road. "I missed you." It had only been a few days since they'd last seen each other, but for Hannah it felt like months. "Alot."

Lex kissed her cheek, chuckling softly. "We'll have to work on your aim then."

Hannah held onto him for a few moments before pulling back so she could look up at him. "How tired are you right now? I mean could we talk?" She needed to tell him what was going on, sooner rather than later

"Won't be able to sleep for a while. Still feel like I'm movin'. Gotta wait for that to stop...so yeah. We can talk." He couldn't help the feeling in his guts, that paranoid part of his brain whispering all sorts of awful things that he chose to ignore. "How's your head?"

"Still have a bit of a lump, but not much of a headache. So that's something," she grabbed his hand, tugging him towards the couch.

There was a hole in his sock. He could feel his toe trying to escape through it and the moment he sat down, he started to pull it off, not wanting her to see that lapse. Then she'd know how close he was to breaking all over again. He wadded both up into a ball, tossed them for the dog to chase.

"Lex," Hannah's voice came out small as she reached for his hand again, "I love you so much, you know that...right?" If he reacted the same way this time around as he did five years ago, she at least had a few warm memories to get her through.

He stared at her for a few seconds, trying to figure out what was on her mind. Eyes narrowing, he pulled his hand back. "I took the bike so I could come alone. Even though I knew it was gonna leave me tired out an' sore for my match. So I mean, if you're gonna pull out 'cause you don't think I'm invested...that's shitty."

Hannah stared at him and quickly shook her head. "No. That's not even remotely in the same universe as what I need to say." She folded her hands and placed them in her lap. "I know you're invested." Her eyes were downcast as she shook her head again. "I told you I'd always be here, waiting and willing to be whatever you needed." Sighing, she sat back and brought her knees up to her chest. Her heart felt as though it had fallen into the pit of her stomach. "None of that has changed."

"Alright." He murmured, watching her change position as if she wanted to shield herself and he knew her well enough to understand that defense mechanism against being vulnerable. "Then what? Just say whatever it is, Han."

"Okay…" She brought her focus back to him. "I didn't have the flu... when I fainted the other day… and uh… yanno went to the ER…. They had to do those tests to make sure my brain's okay." She was dancing around the subject. Letting out a deep sigh, she shrugged her shoulders. "They asked me if there was a chance I was pregnant."

He knew. He'd known the moment his sister had texted him on Monday to say Hannah had fallen and hit her head, that she was still feeling sick. He'd known deep down and he'd wanted to deny it, to run as far away and as fast as he could from the ugly truth of what his actions had wrought. She was looking at him, as if waiting for him to say something. He licked his lips, bowing his head, "…'course they did. Standard procedure, right?"

"They urged me to take a test."

He felt cold all over. Numb in the worst kind of way.

"It came back positive." She let the words hang there, apprehensive.

He said nothing, instead getting up and walking over to the window. He moved the curtain slightly, looking out at the lights of Vegas before allowing his gaze to see beyond the garish glow to pick out the smear of light along the horizon as dawn approached. He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against the glass. "Well fuck," it came out so low he wasn't sure she'd even heard it over the rattle of the air conditioning unit as the compressor kicked on. Inaction had become a sort of game for him, letting it drag out as long as it could because both versions of reality held an appeal. "You had them test more'n once, didn't you?" He raised his voice slightly, not turning around or opening his eyes. He knew the question was rhetorical, he knew she was more obsessive than he was in that regard, but he had to say something.

"Yeah… they did blood, urine, and an ultrasound." She pressed the side of her face against her knees, not looking at him. "That's part of why I was freaking out the other night. I wanted to tell you, but over the phone and Twitter, woulda been shitty." She wanted him to turn around, to look at her but he didn't and the possibility of him walking out and leaving her was seeming more certain by the second. "Lex," her voice broke, "I didn't plan this, if that's what you think."

"Okay." He dragged in a deep breath, realizing that he was still wearing his jacket as he opened his eyes and saw his own reflection. Shrugging out of it, he let it drop to the floor, stepping back from the cloud of dust that puffed up when it fell. He turned around and saw the way she was sitting, almost cowering as she braced for his reaction and it cut right through him. "When... how far along?"

"About five weeks…" she smiled softly. "Even heard the little heartbeat. So…" she looked up at him and paused as she saw he had removed his jacket.

"Five…" he echoed, too tired to do the math, "last time we were here? Was that about when?" He was still watching her, afraid to get any closer.

"Yeah, somewhere in that timeframe." Now that she'd revealed to him about the baby, she felt like she could relax a bit.

"The universe wants…" he paused, his voice breaking slightly, and he bit his lip as he bowed his head. Forcing himself to move, he walked over and rejoined her on the couch. "What happens now?" His voice came out low, barely above a whisper.

Sitting up, Hannah took a chance by grabbing his hand with both of hers. "That's up to you. You know where I stand."

"We'll get a place here. Or Reno maybe. Close enough to drive…nice big yard for the dogs." He murmured, a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Make it work...an' I'll…fuck." His smile vanished. "I'll have to tell Jana. It's not gonna be easy."

She had started smiling until his left. "You do whatever you have to. I'm not gonna rush you." Hannah brought his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles. "I gotchu, Love. Don't ever forget that."

"I know." He leaned in closer, kissing her on the forehead. His arms went around her, his lips finding hers for a deep kiss that expressed what his words couldn't: everything from desire to elation. "I need you," he whispered when the kiss broke.

At hearing those words, Hannah felt something inside of her settle. There was no little voice in the back of her head telling her that he would leave. No, that voice had gone quiet. This was so much different than when she'd told him about her pregnancy with Allegra. They had both been so scared and anxious and they'd fought for weeks over it. This time around, she felt calm. She knew it would be okay. "Allegra is going to be so excited at being a big sister… we'll tell her after everything is settled." Leaning in, she gave him a soft kiss. "I can work on finding us a place… I'll worry about all that stuff."

He nodded, pulling her back against the couch, hugging her tight as he closed his eyes, feeling the exhaustion pulling at him. "Got yourself a deal."

"Sounds good." Her voice cracked as those two simple words left her. She inhaled deeply, breathing him in. This moment would be etched into her memory until the day she died. Never had she felt so happy and was tempted to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming. Silently, Hannah thanked whatever higher power, for giving her another chance with her soulmate.


When she was alone, she could break apart.

She felt ragged now, having spent most of the night alternating between vomiting and sobbing to the point of making herself sick all over again. Her emotions were all over the place and she was grateful to be alone for it.

Breakfast had been brought up to their suite and she still hadn't seen anything from Lex at all. It was as though he'd disappeared, and she could feel the pit of her stomach drop. How wonderful, the nausea that had become the new normal was made worse by stress. At least she wasn't getting one of her stress-induced migraines.

She thought about calling Lex, but then opted not to. The last thing she wanted was to make things awkward for him. Instead, she sent him a text, her fingers trembling.

'Morning, we're just having breakfast and then heading back to Reno. Have a safe trip home.'

Hannah didn't put I love you in case Jana happened to see his phone. Tears were pricking at her eyes as she blinked them away and focused on Allegra who was sharing her toast with Oz. "Bug, I'm gonna go pack, okay?"

The little girl turned her focus from an episode of Sophia the First on the Disney Channel, to her mother. Her blue eyes were wide and hopeful. "Is Daddy comin' too?"

"Not today, Sweetheart; he's… pretty busy. What you can do is call him when we're in the car. I'm sure he would love to hear your voice." Leaning over, Hannah kissed the top of her daughter's head. "I love you, Bug."

"Love you, Momma." Allegra's attention went back to the show along with helping her dog sneak food.

When she was in the other room, Hannah tried to finish gathering their things but with her stomach starting to turn against her at the smell of the food from the other room, it was all she could do to collapse on the bed and bury her face in her hands. They were supposed to stay in Vegas a couple more nights, but it would have just been too hard. As it was, Hannah wasn't altogether sure if she was going to be able to make the six-hour drive back. Taking in and letting out deep breaths, she continued to sit, willing the nausea to pass.

Her phone chose that moment to go off, alerting her to a message. Picking up the phone, she saw Lex's reply on the screen, succinct as usual.

'Hold tight. I'm on my way over.'

Before she had time to respond back and tell him not to bother, there was a gentle knock at the door and then her daughter's excited voice squealing, "DADDY!"

He winced slightly at the sheer volume but managed a warm smile nonetheless. "Hey, pumpkin… good morning."

"Momma said you were busy! Said I could call you later!" Allegra ran over to her father and hugged him tightly. Oz had also trotted over to them, tail wagging at the excitement. Allegra looked up at Lex. "Come home, please?!"

Back in the bedroom, Hannah had been listening to their conversation, smiling at how happy Allegra was. She would have gotten up to greet him, but her body was still uncooperative. Instead, she leaned her side against the headboard, closing her eyes for a moment. She heard Lex's soft reply and the regret that tinged his words that was probably lost on their daughter.

"Soon, pumpkin. I've got some things I gotta sort out first. Finish up your breakfast while I go talk to your mama, alright?"

He cleared his throat softly from the doorway, his voice a hoarse whisper as he crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I didn't know she was comin'... was meant to be a surprise for me. I'm sorry, Han."

"It's not your fault." Her voice was soft as she opened her eyes and looked at him. "You didn't know and I… guess I just kinda freaked out. Sorry we just left, didn't wanna cause you any drama." She smiled warmly at him, her body still propped against the headboard. "No sorries."

He took her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Feelin' shitty again? I got some of those ginger candies for you last night. Couple packages from that store I told you about that's down near Fremont. Here."

"Yes, please." She squeezed his hand back as she took the candies from him. "I'm only six weeks in and this kid is already kicking my butt." Popping one into her mouth, she sighed as she chewed. "We were gonna head back to Jax and Lyv's… figured it would be the best time." Truth was, she didn't wanna chance seeing Lex with Jana. It would feel like a knife in her chest.

Closing his eyes, he sighed. "Han...I…" he trailed off, not really knowing what he could say. The longer he put things off, the worse it was going to get. "I'm so sorry. I didn't want it to end like this. I thought we were gonna have more time. I thought…" he shrugged, muttering the curse word under his breath, "fuck."

Her eyes widened as she sat up. "Are you..?" She turned so she was facing the wall. "Please don't do this. Not now." Working on trying to keep herself calm was doing the exact opposite. Her eyes focused on the wall as she wrapped her arms around herself.

"What?" He realized too late what she thought he was saying. "No. No, baby. I'm not… that's not what I'm sayin'. I just thought we'd have more time this weekend 'fore my other life was gonna rear its head." His accent crept through, his words rushed as he reached out to touch her shoulder. "I'm gonna fix this. We're gonna be together like I said. That's not changed, alright?"

When his hand was on her, he could feel her shaking. Her face had lost color due to what she'd thought he'd said. "Okay," she nodded her head repeatedly. "I… that scared me." Not hesitating, she leaned in and wrapped her arms around his midsection.

He pulled her in close, burying his face in her hair. He could tell how close to a breakdown she was. He could feel the panic coming off her in waves as he ran his hands down her back. "It's okay… we're okay. I'll always come back to you, remember?" His words came out soft, muffled against her neck. "That's my thing. I always come back."