EIGHT: We've Only Just Begun

Despite the fact that he was just as jet-lagged and exhausted, when Charity had started to doze off after showing him around her house, he'd insisted she go take a nap. He hadn't really slept more than a few hours since they'd reconnected – the last sleep he'd gotten was the few hours on the flight, and it had been terrible and uncomfortable, leaving every muscle feeling stiff. He'd tried to walk it off, roaming through all the rooms as he committed the layout to memory but it hadn't helped. Neither had the soak in the bath tub that he'd found across the hall from the spare bedroom. He'd done a small load of wash, finally laundering the jeans that would probably fall apart in the spin cycle because the dust caked into them had become load-bearing. A part of him wanted to crawl into bed with her but every time he watched her from the doorway, he changed his mind – she looked too comfortable, too much like a fallen angel and it broke his heart. He'd found himself wandering again and this time a familiar and strange shade of purple caught his eye from that spare room as he passed in the hall. Flicking on the light, he found that ugly old bear from Coney Island sitting on the bed, propped between the two pillows. He picked it up, turning it over in his hands. There were rough stitches up the back seam, as though they'd burst and had to be replaced. The fur seemed worn and almost matted in places although it was clean – it had been well-loved.

Charity opened her eyes to darkness and knew that she'd slept way longer than she wanted to. Sitting up, she looked around and remembered that she wasn't alone in her home. Smiling to herself and still feeling groggy, Charity got off the bed and started walking through the house to find Bruce.

She heard movement in the guest room and realizing where Bruce was, muttered an expletive under her breath. Arriving in the doorway of the room, she watched Bruce going through the closet. Her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment.

He was oblivious to her, the wire hangers sliding along the rod as he flicked through clothes he hadn't seen in nearly ten years – his old red leather jacket and a suit he'd forgotten he owned were among them, along with various tees. Chuckling softly to himself, he marveled at the fact that she'd kept these things for so long. It was almost a testament to the truth in her assurance that she still loved him more than anything. He pulled the red jacket from its hanger, shrugging into it, surprised to find that it felt a little bigger than he remembered – he'd obviously lost weight since the last time he'd worn it. Turning around in search of a mirror, he caught her staring from the doorway and froze, looking guilty. "Found the shrine," he murmured with a wry grin. "So, this' where all my lost articles've gotten to over the years. Suppose you've got a drawer of all the socks that went missing from the dryer, hmm?" He chuckled, letting her know that he was teasing but the embarrassment didn't leave her face when she saw the bear laying in the middle of the bed.

"Yeah, uh," she picked up the bear and hugged it to her chest. "You know how it goes. Somehow it all ended up moving with me." She had planned on telling him that she had his things, but didn't want to seem like she was obsessed. She was staring at her bare feet that were leaving indentations on the plush carpeting. "The night you left, there was a lot you didn't take. When Sam and I packed up to move, this stuff was still in the closet." She felt the prickle of tears as she remembered that painful time. "I just couldn't throw any of it out. It'd be like really saying goodbye and accepting that you were gone for good. I wasn't... ready to do that. Guess after all this time, I still wasn't ready."

He opened his mouth to reply, finding that he had a huge lump in his throat. Clearing his throat, he shook his head and walked over to where she stood. "Wasn't judgin'." His voice came out gentle as his hands rested on her shoulders, his accent coming in thicker thanks to the emotions welling up. "Figgered it was easier tae just go, minimal damage. Didn't wanna drag out the hurt any longer, comin' back with a truck. Just things, Cherry. Not…" he shook his head, "am a simple enough fella. Don't need much, as yeh ken."

"I know," her voice came out small and shaky.

He took the bear from her, looking down at the raggedy thing between his weathered hands. They'd both seen better days, both showing the damage of life all over the outside. "The fact yeh kept all this? It means a lot, Cherry. Coulda had a ceremonial bonfire in the yard. Wouldn't've blamed yeh any. But…" he tossed the bear back on the bed and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly. "Am touched. Truly."

"It wasn't minimal damage." She lifted her gaze and met his. "You know that, right? I waited, Bruce. I thought you were gonna come back. Then after so long, I just couldn't get rid of it when it was all I had left of you." Her arms went around his waist as she rested her head on his shoulder. "I still sleep in your t-shirts. Did you know that?"

He had an inkling, given what he'd found but to have her admit it was almost endearing. It was like wearing his shirt after they'd made love, just so that she could still be close to him. She'd always done that. He'd just started giving her his clothes, even when they'd first been dating. Clear-headed and sober, it was hard now to look at the truth even though it was cutting right through him. "Still? They must be fit for the rag bin by now." He managed to say without his voice shaking to give him away. "Cherry, I'd've come back. Sooner. If I knew…" he sighed, shaking his head slowly. He hated himself for being a coward, for walking away the moment things had gotten too difficult to bear. 

She shook her head sadly, finally admitting the truth. "We would've just continued to hurt each other. " Lifting her head, she looked into those eyes she loved so much. "We were poisonous. At least now, we're better and we'll be better for each other. We've got time, still."

"Aye," he murmured, "we've only just begun." His smile was a little bittersweet but he nodded regardless. "Am still toxic but I'll do my best not tae be too sickenin'."

"You're not toxic, my love. Addictive, absolutely." Her fingers ran through his hair as she pressed her lips against his. "And I'm afraid I won't be able to kick my addiction this time."

"Mmmmmm," he flashed her a cheeky grin, hands roaming down her back, "know what's the best antidote for that? Little hair of the dog." He gave her ass a gentle swat, "little bit o' vitamin B."

Her smile had widened into a big grin. "Well, you have been keeping me up to date on my shots this week." Laughing, she kissed him again. "How about if I get cleaned up and then we go out for an awesome dinner? When we come back, we can swim and shower again?"

He glanced behind himself to the guest room bed and the bear sitting there in the middle of it like a reminder of that day she'd told him she wanted to be his, wholly and completely. He'd been impossibly in love with her then and the feelings hadn't dimmed any over time. They'd shifted, aged into something deeper than a lusty infatuation. Rather than get sentimental, he flashed that cheeky grin. "Was doin' a little pokin' around while you were out an' I've some concerns." He feigned serious, "has this mattress been stress-tested? How about that couch? Is it stain-resistant?"

"Actually, I was waiting to test that stuff until you could join me." She was trying to fake a serious expression, but her smile came through. "Do you think you'd be up for the task?"

"Was born ready!" There was definite enthusiasm in the words even though he wondered if there was a kernel of truth to the joke. "Guess we'd better get to it, hmm?"

"No time like the present." Grabbing his hands, she pulled him down on the bed. It felt so natural being back with him, as if no time had passed at all. It was like coming home after a long time away – they both felt it – comforting and familiar. Maybe this time it would work out. Maybe this time they were meant to have their happy ending.