FOURTEEN: Closer To The Heart

Charity McLeod had spent most of the day and the latter half of the day before in her bed. She'd started feeling lightheaded, fatigued, nauseated, and emotional. Usually when she got sick, whether it was the flu or a common cold, she tended to be weepy. Bruce had seen these various things in her over the years and had an inkling as to what was wrong with his wife. When he mentioned it to her, it hit her like a ton of bricks that he could be right. Even though it was something she desperately wanted, the prospect of it, given her history, was almost terrifying. They hadn't been back together that long, but this wouldn't have been out of the ordinary for them.

Bruce was out running errands, including picking up some chicken lemon rice soup, another thing she'd craved in the early stages of pregnancy. She chose not to dwell on that as she waited for Bruce and was going through her iPad. For the past few days, she had been looking into some real estate in Las Vegas. She hadn't mentioned it to Bruce, because she wanted to make sure that there was even something on the market that they'd want. Earlier, she'd come across a breathtaking home for sale that she was sure her husband would like. As much as she loved Orlando, it didn't feel like home any longer, especially with her family being more in the Nevada area. She contacted the agent who was selling the house and was just waiting to hear back as she felt herself doze off for probably the tenth time that day.

When she woke up it was dark in the bedroom and she could hear the clatter of pots and pans in the kitchen. Before she could think to get up and investigate, the hall light came on and then Bruce stood in the doorway with a tray in his hands. He hesitated in the doorway, softly saying her name. "Yeh awake, love?"

Before she was fully alert, the sound of his voice made her smile as she reached over and turned on her bedside lamp. "Yeah, for the most part." Pushing herself up in a seated position, she could smell the soup and she was hungry for it. "That smells really good."

"Does it?" His smile was tired as he looked down at her. "Made it meself. Hanny walked me through— Lex's recipe— so hopefully won't kill yeh." He set the tray down on her lap and she could see that he'd given her a full bowl and two pieces of buttered crusty bread to go with it. "Wasn't sure what yeh wanted tae drink. Lemme know. I'll go get it."

Charity shook her head, feeling herself start to get weepy, but she did her best to blink it away. "This is absolutely perfect…" She grabbed his hand and held it against her chest. "You are so good to me. Thank you." Glancing over, she noticed her iPad. "Oh! There's something I wanna talk to you about."

He nodded. "Aye, did as I said. Bought some of those pizzle sticks. One says it can detect early, whatever that actually means." Following her gaze to the iPad, he realized she probably wasn't talking about that. "What is it?"

"I've been thinking a lot about this house and Orlando in general." She still had his hand in hers, but she used her other to grab the spoon and take a bite of the soup. Her eyes widened as she smiled and nodded. "Quick tangent, the soup is awesome." Her focus went back to the topic at hand. "Anywho, I want to sell this house. I love Orlando, but I feel like this chapter in my life is over. We're finally getting our fresh start and I think I found the perfect place for us." Grabbing the tablet, she handed it to him to get his opinion.

He tapped the screen to keep it from going dark and started swiping through the photos, his eyes going wider with each one. Whistling low, he looked up at her, "Vegas? Is that..?"

"Yeah, " she nodded. "If our family is expanding…" she hesitated for a split second, "even if not now, it might in the future. I want to be close to my sisters and Lex and my nieces." Leaning her head back against the headboard, she looked up at Bruce. "You know you would love to be closer to the girls, especially your goddaughter."

Bruce found himself nodding, realizing she was right. It had been easier, staying in Vegas the last year, with Hannah around to keep him from going completely off the rails. "True." He hesitated for a moment, mulling over what she'd said before frowning, puzzled. "Wait… sisters? Is Gretchen in Vegas too?"

"Actually, she will be." Thinking of her youngest sister made her laugh. "You were sound asleep when I got a call from her last night. She is kind of freaking out because Ash decided to drive from Mississippi to Dallas to hang out with her. I started asking her what made this transpire. She told they'd been talking and are each going in half on a place in Vegas. Guess they're going to be roommates?"

"Well then. If the whole fam-jam is gonna be there... we may as well too." He went back to looking at the house, at all the rooms with its vaulted ceilings and arches. "Looks like a fuckin' castle," he murmured under his breath. "That floor...an' those stairs. Can yeh imagine me in a place so fancy?"

Nodding, "I can." She brought his hand to her lips and gave it a kiss. "After everything that's happened, we deserve this, Bruce. You deserve this." Letting go of his hand, she picked up a piece of bread, dipping it into the soup before taking a bite. "I contacted the agent selling that house. I want to put an offer in. You on board for this?"

"Sure thing." He rounded the bed and sat down on the other side with a soft sigh. "Bought some of that nicotine gum... our daughter'd be proud. Gonna try an' actually quit." He didn't mention that he felt like he actually had something worth living for now. He figured she knew the motivation.

Grabbing the tray, Charity set it on her bedside table. "Oh, Baby." She knew he'd mentioned about wanting to quit and knowing that he was taking the necessary steps caused her to throw her arms around him. "Sam is going to be so happy when she finds out. I am so proud of you, Bruce." She hugged him close, feeling weepy again, but she held it back.

"Hey now…" he seemed surprised at her enthusiastic display, almost embarrassed. "Be proud if it takes. Don't count chickens early, love. Don't wanna jinx it."

"Yeah, but the fact that you've gone ten days and you're driven to do this is a big deal." She pulled back, feeling overly emotional. "Sorry, my mood is all over the place." She wiped at her eyes and sat back.

"Cherry-love... mebbe we should do that test? Been nigh on a month since…" he trailed off, looking down at the mattress for a moment. "Gods how has it only been that? Feels infinitely longer. A fuckin' year at least."

"What happens if I am and then it doesn't..?" Her arms wrapped around herself as she exhaled, falling silent.

He knew she was thinking about the son they'd lost. He was too. "Don't say that."

"What if my body decides to fail again? It has happened before." She looked up at him and he could see the fear in her eyes, the fear of losing something she wanted so badly.

He moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around her. "Hush now," he murmured, kissing the top of her head. "If it happens… it happens, love. No amount of worries'll prevent that. Am here. No matter what. Okay? Take it one day at a time. Like we did with our first."

Nodding, knowing he was right, Charity held onto him. After a few moments, she pulled back and pressed her forehead against his. "Would you go get the tests?"

"They're in the bathroom, love. All stacked up nice. Five different kinds. Have tae be one that works, right?" He tried for a laugh to break the tension, smiling gently.

"Yeah, there should be." She nodded and laughed a bit, herself. Throwing the blankets back, she leaned in and kissed him for a moment. "Okay. Here goes." She got off the bed and went into the bathroom. Seeing the pregnancy tests, she looked through them and opted to go ahead and do two of them.

After a few minutes, Charity came out of the bathroom. She went over to the side of the bed Bruce was on and sat next to him. "It's gonna be a few minutes… I took two and figured I can save the others if I need to do a retest." Leaning against him, she was so glad he was there. No matter what, she knew they would get through it together.

Bruce didn't say anything. He was absolutely positive that she was pregnant and the thought scared the shit out of him. They had their new start, their chance to rebuild after all the toxic waters under the bridge and he wasn't sure he was ready to be a father again when he was creeping up on fifty. It was weird to think, especially when their firstborn was more than old enough to have her own kids now. "Right. An' we'll make an appointment. I'll go too. Get a full work-up." He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, giving her a squeeze. "In this together. 100%."

Charity nodded as she relaxed in his arms. "I guess that would be the adult thing to do." It made her head spin thinking about how for twenty-three years he had been the only man in her life. They'd grown up together and had been through so much. "Well, I should probably go…. Yanno." Waiting another few moments, she stood up and walked into the bathroom. Grabbing the tests off the counter quickly, she couldn't bring herself to look. Instead, she kept them in her hand, little plastic covers over the part she used. "I don't know if I can look at them." She said as she went back to his side of the bed.

"What's the biggest fear?" Bruce asked gently, not trying to peek. He was doing his best to respect her feelings, even though he was freaking out, too. "We know we can do it. Sam's evidence of that, no? She turned out alright…"

"I know, we did good with her." Her biggest fear was that something would happen and she'd lose another baby. Not only had it broken her but it had broken Bruce. He'd turned his back on religion, on his family— everything had fallen apart in an instant. Charity wasn't sure if she could do that again, if she could watch that happen to the man she loved again.

"Goan," Bruce murmured, nudging her with his elbow.

"Okay." Exhaling, she held the tests out, looking at the results. Both were positive. Sucking in a breath, she just stared at them she didn't know why if had come as such a shock. "Well, I guess that answers that." She held the tests out for him to see.

He blinked, shaking his head even as he felt the prickle of tears. "Told yeh." His voice came out soft as he shifted his gaze from them to her face. She looked so lost with her wide eyes and he wanted nothing more than to protect her at all costs— it was such a familiar feeling that he couldn't help himself from getting emotional over it. "Cherry... we're…" he was smiling and tears were rolling down his weathered cheeks. "Aw hell, love. Am leakin'..."

"Oh, my love." This caused her to start crying as she leaned over and kissed him. Sitting down next to him, she set the tests down on the bedside table. Her arms went around him as she crawled into his lap. He held her tight and she snuggled up against his chest. "I love you so much."

"Love you." He murmured, kissing the top of her head. "So much. This is it... this is all I've hoped for…" He rested his cheek against her head, sighing. "A new start. Chance tae do it all right…" He hesitated for a moment before pulling away. "Wanna ask yeh somethin'. Know it's silly…" He reached into the pocket of his pants and pulled out a little box. He popped it open to reveal a thin band that was covered in diamonds and emeralds. "There are twenty-three stones on it. One for each year yeh had me heart. Wanna have a big do. Everyone there. Wanna do it right this time, Cherry. Marry me?"

"When did you…" She was taken aback by this and the ring. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Tearing her eyes away from it, she focused. "Yes, I will marry you again, nothing I want more." Leaning in, she kissed him passionately, her arms going around his neck. "A million times, yes."

"Used the prize money," he replied with a rough chuckle. "Some of it anyhow. Couldn't think of a better thing than tae show my girl how much she means." He kissed her back, just as passionate as she'd been. "We made it, love. We survived the trials."

"We did." Despite everything that had been thrown their way, they both had managed to overcome. In the past, she would have secretly been waiting for the other shoe to drop. This time it was different, she could feel. Glancing back down at the ring, she smiled warmly and looked back up at Bruce. "Can I ask about the other ring? My original one?"

"What about it?" He studied her with the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"After I gave it back, what did you do with it?" One of the main things she regretted in her life was giving him back the ring he'd given her when he'd proposed.

"Wore it." He chuckled softly, "had it on the night in Vegas… hanging round me neck. Remember?" He didn't really expect her to. They'd been pretty drunk, after all. "Never took it off. Figgered if yeh ever wanted it back... it'd be in a safe place. Next tae me heart."

It took her a moment or two, but she did recall the necklace he'd worn that night. "Well, I'm gonna want that ring back." Charity kissed him deeply, her arms wrapping around him. Despite the fears she had, she still felt happier than she ever remembered. "And if no one has bought that house, I'm going to put an offer down. That's our dream home and we are meant to have it."

"Meant tae have all the dreams," he corrected with a rough whisper, hoping that by saying it aloud, it would come true. Crazier things had happened, after all.