008: Always

It had been about five days since Kayla Knix had seen Rick Raven, but they had been messaging each other on Twitter. The plan had been for him to let her know when he got back into town and she'd come back to the penthouse. She'd been going back and forth between the penthouse and her cousin, Lex's home. Before Rick had gone out of town, Kayla had been hit with a blow or two. Rick's other woman, LJ, had come to town and it had been revealed that she was in fact his fiancée. Rick had also tried to proposition Kayla into a threesome to which she'd agreed to and then left. He had also referred to their relationship as an arrangement. She'd truly thought that he was falling for her, even if he did have someone else. As far as she could tell now, she had just been a distraction for him, someone to curb his loneliness until he could see his precious LJ. However, because they had been communicating through Twitter, Kayla was thinking that she was indeed more than a distraction. He had seemed to really miss her and she for one couldn't wait to see him.

She had gone over to Lex and Hannah's to babysit their daughters. Kayla had a strong bond with their oldest Allegra, as well as she was the little one's godmother. Multiple times that evening she checked her phone and tried reaching out to Rick, he every message had gone unread and unanswered. She'd texted. She'd sent messages on Twitter. She even tried to call the office phone thinking maybe he was engrossed in work and hadn't noticed the time. He'd never answered and never gotten back in touch. Kayla ended up falling asleep in Allegra's room, next to the little girl, with her phone in hand. When she woke up the following morning, she couldn't shake the heartsick feeling to see no replies. Before overreacting, though, she tried to stay positive that perhaps he'd fallen asleep. She'd just have to go back to the penthouse and see him for herself.

Taking the elevator up seemed to take longer than usual and it gave her too much time to worry about what she had on. Kayla was dressed down in a baggy gray sweater with light denim skinny jeans, and a pair of white sneakers. Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw when the elevator doors opened. The open space of his penthouse had been completely trashed. It looked like all of Vegas came and had the rager of a lifetime. Her hand came up over her mouth as she stepped off the elevator and took in the damage. Panic started to set in that this could have been her fault, maybe she'd left something unlocked and someone had taken advantage of it. Rick was going to be furious with her and she didn't blame him one bit – she'd fucked up royally. The only thing she could try to do was put the place back in order and figure out if anything had been stolen.

Empty liquor bottles littered the floor along with empty food containers and other garbage. Articles of clothing she didn't recognize were strewn about in piles. As she walked around the penthouse, her heart started to sink as she noticed some of her things that she'd left there were also in the pile of chaos. Swallowing hard, she picked up a stuffed husky that was laying in a puddle of red wine with dried red candle wax stuck to it. "I'm sorry, Cobbles." She said sadly, as she held the soiled plush to her chest. She'd had the husky for years, ever since that trip to SeaWorld with her dad. Cobbles had seen her through a lot and he was one of the few things from childhood she'd saved. It had been stupid to leave her things there, but there was nothing she could do about it now.

The murmur of a familiar voice from the bedroom got her attention and with the plush dog still in her arms, she walked over and froze in the doorway when she heard feminine laughter. Was LJ still here?

Peering around the corner, she saw Rick, but he wasn't alone. Next to him were two very scantily clad women, draped all over him. As if he heard her, Rick looked up and saw the reflection of movement as she ducked back out of sight. "Ladies," he made sure his voice carried to the other room, "I'm spent. Why don't you two go back downstairs. Have a little fun… put it on my tab, hmm?"

They both tried to protest, but in short order they were both making their way through the wreckage, giggling between themselves as they passed Kayla. She watched them go, but said nothing. Her thumb came up as she chewed on the nail, trying to figure out what her next move was. Carefully, she set down the dog and started digging through the mess, looking for the rest of her things. She heard movement from the bedroom but didn't say anything.

"Looking for something?" Rick's voice wasn't kind, wasn't even in the ballpark of friendly. He stood in the bedroom doorway, his arms folded across his chest – at least he'd taken the time to put on the red and black silk robe so he wasn't glowering at her in the nude.

"Just grabbing my things." Her tone was flat as she stuffed down the emotions that threatened to spill out. It was better to just go numb. "I'll call your cleaning service and ask them to come today." He couldn't see her face or how even after trying to stuff it all down, she was struggling to keep it together.

He didn't bother to answer, instead going over to the bar and rummaging through the bottles behind it to find one that wasn't empty. It wasn't his usual expensive whiskey but he didn't seem like he cared as he pulled the spigot out with his teeth, spitting it on the floor with the rest of the mess. "We went to a resort. Fiji. In case you were wondering where I was." The way he said it made it clear he knew she hadn't been but he needed to throw it in her face. He was still angry that she'd bailed on the proposed threesome, the lie hurting more than the fact that she hadn't been up for it. "White sand beaches. Crystal blue water. It was wonderful." The way he said it made it sound anything but and he followed that off by taking a huge chug of the liquor.

"It sounds like a good time." Her tone was still flat as she threw her few pieces of clothing on the couch. "Your messages are on your desk in your office. Nothing major went down." Her hands had started shaking and there was a dull pain in her lower back and she knew what that meant. "I also got the new contracts for the Los Angeles stuff filed away."

"Did you?" He couldn't keep the bitterness out of his tone as he watched her, seeing that gesture as the final nail in the coffin between them. If she was gathering up everything she'd left here, everything she'd deliberately brought over to make the place seem more like home. "I'll have to make sure you get a bonus for your efforts." He put the bottle to his lips, draining the rest of it and trying not to wince as it burned all the way down. "If you're looking for her things, don't bother. She took what she wanted. The rest of that… I bought for her. Supposed to shred it all. Discard it."

His words didn't make sense and she barely caught the last of it as he mumbled to himself. "I'm not looking," she sighed, "I just wanna take my stuff to get cleaned." She had to sit down, the pain in her lower back starting to spread upwards. "And I don't want a fucking bonus." Reaching over, she grabbed the dog and held it to her chest, realizing he must still be angry with her. "I'm sorry I left…" Her voice was no longer flat, the emotion was starting to creep in and she couldn't hold it back. Her bottom lip quivered as her blue eyes shimmered with tears.

Rick started at her for a few seconds, as though she was speaking some foreign language. "Whatever you think it is that you owe me…" he shook his head, letting the empty bottle fall from his numb fingers. It fell on something soft, didn't break and he bent over as though he intended to remedy that, giving up when he almost fell over. Crossing the room back towards the bar, he stopped and turned back around. "Why are you even here?"

It was her turn to stare, feeling tears stinging her vision. Something was definitely off and it wasn't just because she was certain he was drunker than she'd ever seen him before.

He was utterly oblivious to her misery; he was lost in his own. He was too numb to care that she was hurting too, to even try and figure out why she'd left in the first place. The last thing he wanted to do was explain how the decision to end the engagement had come about. LJ was going to be in New York for at least another year, spearheading the merger as the face of the partnership. Colleagues on paper. Partners. He wished he hadn't invested in the project but it was too far gone to pull out now. Ravenswood and Starke were a done deal, in more ways than one. When she said nothing, he shook his head and turned back to the bar.

Taking a moment to compose herself, she set the dog to the side and pushed herself off the couch. Her eyes were red-rimmed, her back still throbbing as she forced herself to walk over to him. "Rick," her voice came out quietly, "I think we're both in a really shitty place right now."

His hands were flat against the top of the bar, his head bowed. "Is that what you think?" Rick's voice came out strained, as if he was going to great effort to hold himself in check.

From the moment she'd met him, she'd felt a connection that she would never walk away from. Unconditionally, she loved him. She could see how torn up he was and she was starting to suspect she knew the reason, given the things he'd said. Dismayed, she thought maybe it was all her fault, maybe that was why he was being so cold. When she looked at him again, he was staring at her, tears in his eyes.

"Kayla…" he shook his head, falling silent as he averted his gaze.

Gently, she wrapped her arms around him. "Whatever you're feeling, it's okay. It's all okay."

He was stiff in her embrace, his eyes closed as he dragged in a breath. He felt brittle, as if he might break any moment. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. "You don't know," he muttered, keeping his eyes closed even as he reached for her, pulling her in closer. "I don't bloody well know what I'm feeling. Relief? Remorse? Did I even want to get married? I think the only reason I went along with it, did what she suggested, was because I knew I didn't." He knew he was babbling and it wasn't even making sense but he was drunk and exhausted and broken.

She held him, saying nothing because she didn't know what she could say to take away his pain. "I'm here," Kayla murmured.

"Just stay with me," his eyes were so sad when she looked up and met his gaze. "Please?"

She felt a twinge of relief that he didn't push her away, whispering as he held her tight. "Always, Rick. Always."