013: Someday

Rick was almost pacing, heart racing as he undid the bow-tie before taking off his jacket, tossing it down on the couch. Lyv had told him about the Pearl Jam song, about how much she knew Kayla loved it. He'd spent the last few days learning it, tweaking it so that it fit with the style he usually did when he warmed the stage at Lux. He'd taken a gamble with the second one, not even sure if she was a fan of Queen, let alone that song that wasn't really one of their biggest American hits. His hands were sweaty as he made his way over to the bar, forcing himself to pour some soda water into a glass simply to settle his stomach. He'd just brought it to his lips, trying to pretend he wasn't so tense he might snap, listening for the elevator when he heard the subtle whine of machinery. He kept his back to it, holding his breath while he waited for the doors to open.

Kayla stepped off the elevator, her hands clasped in front of her. Slowly, she walked in his direction, her shoes making it known she was there. Seeing him there in the penthouse was something she'd missed terribly and it felt like home again. "Hello Rick." The two words came out softly, the atmosphere so quiet, a pin could be heard dropping. "You played beautifully tonight." At this moment, she was only a foot away from him.

"Thank you." His voice came out quiet and he set the glass down on the bar after taking a drink. It took him a moment to gather the courage to turn around and when he did, he couldn't believe how beautiful she looked. He'd seen her across the bar, of course. But here, in private, he could see how flattering the dress she had on truly was. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was going to be getting in tonight. It was an impulse thing, really. I couldn't stay away any longer." Shrugging, he undid the top button on his dress shirt, suddenly feeling as if it was choking him. "I'm glad you liked the performance. It's been a while since I've actually been nervous before playing."

"Thank you for playing those." He looked so much better than he had the last time they were together. "You're a natural; I don't think anyone would have guessed you were nervous." This man standing before her was who had captured her heart, but the more she had gotten to know him, even after he had been spiraling out of control, her love for him had become unconditional. "I absolutely love that Queen song."

"It's such a beautiful piece," Rick agreed, nodding. "I'm sorry I pulled you away from your friend. I shouldn't have been so selfish." He wanted to get closer, to pull her into his arms and hug her tight. The fear of rejection kept him a little further than arm's length.

"It's okay," she replied, "Ash is just-"

"I know." He knew who Ashley Devereaux was, having looked him up the moment he'd seen the two of them walk into the club together on the security monitors – he'd been planning to surprise her in the penthouse, to invite her down to the club for drinks. The plans had shifted the moment he realized she was already there. He'd felt a little bit of jealousy when he'd seen how close they were – he knew they had history together because he'd done a little digging around social media. "I'm not…" he chuckled, shaking his head, "okay, maybe I am. Just a little. Promise I won't act like an idiot, though."

"You're fine, Rick." She placed a hand on his arm and gave it a squeeze. Hearing that he had been jealous over Ash was surprising, to say the least. She'd have thought that he'd have all the confidence in the world to go with his charisma.

Every part of him wanted to make sure he didn't screw this chance up now that he had her here. "I went to Reno." He hadn't intended to tell her but the thought of tap-dancing around the truth held no appeal. "To Lyv's actually. I needed to get away from here – not from you, mind – I needed to dry out, without temptation." He glanced over at the bar, sighing. "Later, I'm going to get rid of all of that, too. Unless... you want me to keep some around for you."

Hearing what Rick had done for her, she was relieved and so proud of him. "We don't need it here. If I want a drink, I can head downstairs."

He nodded. "Oh..." snapping his fingers as though he'd just remembered, he walked over to the coffee table, picking something up. "I got you something green. I thought it might spruce the place up. You could put it on your desk downstairs so you don't forget to water it." He held out a box, perfectly wrapped in shiny silver paper.

Kayla looked intrigued as she took the box from him. "Oh really?" As she spoke, she unwrapped the box. When she saw exactly what it was, she laughed, almost doubling over. Rick had gotten them a Weird Al Chia Pet. "This is fabulous, thank you." Her smile had widened into a grin as she looked at the box. "I only hope that we can raise him to be a productive member of society." The gift meant the world to her, something he'd chosen. "I absolutely love it."

"I'm glad." He was grinning, almost unable to contain it. "I saw it on the shelf at the CVS in Reno and I thought of you." His heart was still racing as he watched her and he wasn't sure if it was the sheer joy at being in the same room or the anxiety and fear of further rejection. "I'm sorry I didn't call. It wasn't that I didn't want to, I promise. I just didn't want you to hear me like that."

"It's okay, " she said as she set the box down and took a step so she was standing right in front of him. "You're here and you look so much better than you did when you left. I was really worried about you, but I'm so glad that you're better."

"I don't know I'd call it better, per se. I'm stone-cold sober. So there's that, I suppose." He shrugged, brushing off the compliment as he closed the rest of the distance between them by reaching out to take her hands. "There's a bag. Behind the bar. Your things are in it. I had them cleaned – the things I ruined with all those stupid parties I kept having up here. What wasn't able to be salvaged, I've had replaced. I know that doesn't make up for it… not by a long shot. I just felt as though I needed to make a bit more of an effort at amends, here." Flashing a wan smile, he continued, "and Cobbles has been to the groomers. Looks as good as new."

"Thank you." She gave both of his hands a squeeze and then wrapped her arms around him. It had felt like a year since she'd last held onto him, even though it had only been a few days. "I appreciate you doing that." Pulling back, she looked up at him, his eyes making her weak in the knees. "All that stuff that happened... it's in the past and I know you were struggling; I was too. I'm sorry I kinda checked out. I'm sorry I..." she averted her eyes, and he knew where her mind had gone.

"No. Don't apologize for that. Don't ever." There was vehemence in his tone as he stared at her. "I needed to know. Full stop. Period. End of discussion, okay?"

Her head moved slightly, the barest hint of a nod. "Rick," her voice came out strained as she lifted her hand to his cheek, emotions swimming in her eyes. "I always want to be here for you."

"And I want you here, Kayla." His voice came out soft, "that Queen song... it was for you. I didn't know you liked it. I just needed to find a way to say the things in my heart."

She nodded, having had a feeling when she'd heard him sing the line he'd changed. Hearing the emotions in his voice only made her even more convinced she was where she needed to be. "As long as you want me here, I'll never leave." Her hand rested on his shoulder now and it wasn't clear if she was steadying herself or him. "I fell in love with you before I even realized that's what had happened. Rick, you are it for me. There won't ever be anyone else for me." Grabbing his hand, she brought it to her chest, over where her heart was. "That's been yours since the day we met."

"It's funny, isn't it? Lyv put you in my path, brought us together. You say you fell right away but I was the one falling and I just didn't know it." His smile was slightly sad as he lifted his hand, cupping her cheek. "You were never the second choice. I hope you realize that, Kayla. You…" he rested his forehead against hers, sighing, "I chose you. From the moment you first walked into my life with your stickers and your washi tape and that infectious laugh. You drive me crazy. I can't get enough of you." He kissed her gently, pulling her in close. "I love you. So damn much."

Never in her life had she felt as safe or as happy as she did at that moment. This man loved her, this wonderfully good man. When Kayla looked into his eyes, she saw the truth. Her lips met his again and her hands moved up to the sides of his face. "I love you; a million times, I love you."

"I'm so relieved to hear you say that," Rick confessed, feeling a huge weight lift from his shoulders. After all his searching, all the missteps and mistakes, he felt like this could finally be right. He'd adored LJ Starke but this woman here in his arms set his soul on fire. He loved her more than he'd ever loved anyone before. He was going to make this work, no matter what.


The other side of the bed was cold when he rolled over, his hand automatically reaching out for that warmth and it pulled him from sleep. Confusion was there for a moment and he thought he was back in Reno, in that narrow bed in the Jackson's guest room. When he saw the light outlining the doorway to the bedroom, he realized he was home in Vegas. A soft sound in the living room pulled him from bed and he found Kayla sitting cross-legged on the floor, an open book on the coffee table in front of her. He wondered if he was intruding on something private.

Softly, he cleared his throat and she looked up with a warm smile on her face. "Hope you don't mind. I couldn't sleep."

He crossed the space, sitting down on the couch behind her. "It's fine," he stifled a yawn, curiosity getting the best of him. "What's this, then?"

She leaned back against his legs, tilting her head back to look at him. "It's not work. I promise."

Now that he was looking from her vantage point and not upside-down, he could see she had a leather-bound journal open on the table. On the page, he saw little squares, each of them numbered. "Okay. I'll bite. What am I looking at?"

"I never did get started on the mood tracker for your datebook. I thought maybe..." she trailed off, looking embarrassed.

"Mood tracker?" He cocked his head, considering it, "well, I certainly need that. How am I feeling today? Is that for you to fill out or for me?" He leaned forward, clearly interested. "What would you classify today as?"

"Hmm, I guess it would be a decent day." She deadpanned, meeting his eyes only for a second before grabbing a pen and jotting down some notes. She couldn't keep the smile from crossing her lips, biting her bottom one to try and stay serious. "And you would fill it out."

Leaning forward, he rested his hand on her shoulder. "Okay. Show me how this works, then?"

"It's not really hard." She pulled out her own journal from the messenger bag on the floor beneath the table and flipped it open, showing one she'd decorated herself that had numbered puzzle pieces, some colored and some blank. Underneath the pieces, there was a color code key with a different color assigned to each mood. "You just color in whatever mood you're in." She handed the book to Rick so he could see for himself. "You can borrow my markers if you want."

He blinked at the page, waiting for the numbers to come into focus. He saw she'd already colored in the shape for the day and tapped it with his finger. "What do you do if it changes? What if the day starts out abysmal and gets better? What if you say it's 'okay' and then it goes downhill? Do you update?" He traced his finger across a week that was all shaded the same, the color she'd chosen for 'wonderful'. "And what made these ones so special?"

Her cheeks flushed when she saw what he was referring to and her shoulders went up in shrug. "They were just some of the best days I've had in a long time." Of course, they were the days after she'd started working for him. "Usually I fill it out before bed." She didn't tell him that if he turned the page, he'd see that she jotted down for each day the reasons for her moods that day.

"Well…" Rick looked up after making the connection, realizing what the numbers corresponded to, "I'd agree with the classification." He tapped the ones that weren't as positive, realizing those were the days he'd been gone on his holiday. He wanted to comment, but he realized she might not want to talk about why those days had been so bad – the dead horse had already been beaten endlessly, after all. Looking at these little colored pieces, he realized he was seeing something intimate, something that she probably didn't share with anyone else. Looking wistful, he stared across the room, "those were wonderful days. Some of the best I've ever had."

"Yeah, they were." Exhaling, she leaned back against the couch, resting her head against his knee. "And better days are coming." At this moment in her life, she had everything she could ever want or need and that was Rick Ravenswood – the reality that she was actually his girlfriend now was utterly mind-blowing.

"Seems almost pointless," he murmured, his hand idly stroking her hair. "Every day from here on out will just be the same color on this scale. A whole page of 'wonderful'. How boring." There was a teasing tone to his statement, but it held a kernel of truth. The more time spent in her company, the more he smiled and the better he felt. Wonderful was exactly the right word to describe it.

The way his fingers went through her hair was relaxing as she slid an arm around his leg. "I suppose I'll just have to come up with different moods and colors."

"Oh, yes," he let out a soft snort that would have been a laugh if he wasn't so tired. "Have to make sure sleepy... and horny... make it on the list, then. So, mine'll have some variation in pattern."

She looked up at him, a bemused smile on her face that matched his before she crawled up on the couch, moving so that she was sitting next to him. Her head rested on his shoulder, her entire body free from stress and anxiety. He put his arm around her, letting her settle in against his chest. "Someday," her voice was soft, almost sleepy as she murmured, "I wanna marry you."

Rick had his eyes closed. He'd been drifting closer to sleep, lulled by her warmth pressing up against him. Those words, though, uttered so casually, pulled him back and his eyes snapped open. Had she just said that, or had he only dreamed it? The prospect wasn't scary, not in the least. "Mmmhmm," he affirmed with a sleepy grunt, "someday."