018: Needs Versus Wants

The last few weeks had been strange and surreal, especially with the lockdowns happening across the nation. It felt like a lifetime had passed in the blink of an eye, even though it was still March. While Rick Raven hadn't really expected to find himself headed back to Reno, at least this time it was for a far happier reason. So far only two people had been expressly told about their spontaneous marriage. After the meeting with her grandparents, Kayla had changed her name on social media, being about as sneaky as she could manage without any huge announcements.

A part of him was almost dreading the stopover with the Jacksons. Kayla's grandparents had been disappointed to have missed out on a family celebration and he figured the reaction from Alyvia was going to be similar, despite the most recent ban on gatherings of over 10 people across the state. Even if they'd wanted to have a big party, it would have to wait until this pandemic was over – the prospect that the world was changing in strange ways wasn't lost on him for a moment. The woman who felt most like a sister was going to be hurt that he hadn't confided his intentions, even though it had been the worst sort of knee-jerk impulse.

A sigh slipped past his lips unnoticed as the miles disappeared under the SUV's tires. The highway was the most deserted he'd ever seen, lending more of that eeriness to the whole situation. It was like living in some horror movie that just kept ramping up the tension – that was why he needed to break the news to Alyvia in person rather than over some emotionless text. After this stop, they'd be off on a road trip that was as far removed from a honeymoon as one could get.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Kayla's voice was gentle, cutting easily through his melancholy.

"You'd get change back," he quipped, that wry twist of his lips there as he glanced over. When his eyes met those of his beautiful passenger, he couldn't help but grin as he took his hand off the wheel and reached for hers. "You've been quiet as well," he remarked. For a moment, he wondered if she was going to renege on the trip to Arkansas, if she'd suddenly changed her mind on the whole thing. "Any second thoughts?"

She shook her head, emphatic when she replied, "none whatsoever."

He let his eyes go back to the empty road. "What is it then?"

"Happy thoughts, actually." Kayla brought his hand up to her lips, giving his knuckles a kiss. "Just thinking about the past few weeks and how everything happened so fast. I wouldn't change it for the world – us, I mean. It's just kind of mind-blowing, you know? Everything out there's falling apart and I feel the safest I've ever been."

"You're welcome." Rick stifled a chuckle, the amusement there in his voice as he tried to push aside the swelling of pride at her confession.

"I mean it." She gave his hand a squeeze for emphasis, running her fingers over the silver ring with the black stone that he'd started wearing on his right hand the moment he'd donned that wedding band. It still amazed her how deeply she felt connected with the man next to her, as if they'd known each other forever. He'd joked once that they must have known each other in a past life – it felt like that was true. They hadn't known each other long, but more than anything it felt right.

"If I could do it over, I'd probably change one thing." Rick's voice was filled with regret. "I'd have chosen you sooner. Made it official. Told you how I felt, you know? As quick as this came about, I still feel as though we wasted precious time." He chuckled and shook his head, glancing back over at her. "Have I told you today how much I love you?"

"Not in the last thirty minutes." She was grinning now. For the first time in her life, Kayla felt a sense of inner peace. "We can't go back, but what we can do is make up for lost time."

"I'm all for that." He smirked, winking at her. "And I love you so much."

"And I love you more than a robust kid loves cake. See if that kid really loved the cake, he wouldn't eat it." She gave his hand another squeeze, laughing at her own metaphor. "This is my solemn promise: I'll never eat you."

One dark brow rose as he considered that before shifting his attention back to the road, turning down the street that the Jacksons lived on. "Never eat me, hmm? I suppose that's a solid vow. Have to consider incorporating that when we have that second ceremony, maybe?" It was almost surreal how happy he felt, as if a giant weight had been lifted from his shoulders despite all the complications their spontaneity had uncovered. "I promise to love... honour... cherish... and never, ever eat you."

Kayla giggled as they turned down the private drive that she knew led to Jax and Lyv's home. It had been almost two months since she'd visited her cousin and she owed Lyv a huge thank you. If it hadn't been for her, Kay might never had met Rick. For that, she would be eternally grateful. "Y'know, we really should get Jax and Lyv like a giant cookie cake to thank them for being all sneaky and setting us up."

"It's a bit too late for that now," Rick replied, his smile fading a little as the huge house came into view past the trees. "I agree, though. We should give them something." The car came to a stop and he threw it into park, turning to look at her even as he unlatched his seatbelt. "You think they're going to be pissed off? You have far more experience with Alyvia's moods than I do."

Biting down on her lower lip, Kayla became quiet for a moment. "Actually, there is something I should tell you." She knew how much Rick loved Lyv like a sister and she had a spark of fear that he'd look at her differently. He needed to know, though. "So about eight years ago I was in a really bad place and Jax and I became really close. We'd known each for a couple years and were already friends. Long story short, we had an affair that lasted two months." She exhaled slowly, remembering how painful it had been to be the so-called 'other woman'.

"I see."

"We broke it off – actually, I broke it off. He loved Lyv and it was just sex. Lyv and I made amends a long time ago. She forgave me. Jax and I are still friends..." when she saw the furrow in his brow, she rushed to clarify, "without any kind of benefits."

"Of course," Rick nodded, his voice and expression neutral.

"I don't want to have secrets from you-"

"I don't need a running tally of everyone you've ever shared a bed with," he replied, his gaze on the house for a moment.

"I know. I just... I would have told you sooner, but it kinda slipped my mind." The shame she felt reflected back in her tone and body language and it was that more than anything else that kept his anger at bay.

He'd heard a thousand and one awful things about the former professional wrestler that Alyvia had married – they'd met when the couple were separated, after all.

"Say something," Kayla urged, her eyes pleading when he looked into them.

"You and Jax?" He didn't sound angry at all, didn't even really seem like it bothered him in the least. Thinking about it for a moment, he shook his head dismissively. "If you're going to tell me you have feelings for him... that's a completely different ball of wax. But if it was just sex eight years ago?" Rick shrugged, "I've been with women whose names I don't even remember. It was purely physical. Meaningless. I can't expect you to forgive my past if I'm going to condemn you for yours, now can I?"

She visibly relaxed, the smile returned to her face as she unbuckled her seatbelt. "I just want everything on the table."

"Absolutely. I appreciate that." He was actually sincere, "I don't ever want to lie to you... mislead you in any way. I want us to trust each other." He cut the engine, looking up at the house. "Well, should we get on with this?"

"I was born ready for this." She opened up her door and stepped out. After a few hours in the car she was grateful to be able to stretch her legs. Walking over to his side, she held her hand out for him.

Getting out, he met her just as she arrived on his side and he took it, interlocking their fingers together as they made their way to the door. He couldn't help but think of the last time he'd been here, just a couple weeks ago, and how bleak everything had seemed then. Now it seemed like the future was limitless, as bright as the day around them was. The door opened as they reached it and Rick was surprised to see Jackson standing there instead of his wife. The silver-haired former athlete grinned, stepping forward to pull them both into an embrace. He might not have been as well-muscled as he'd been in his heyday, but those arms were still as hard as steel.

"It's good to see you, Jax." She returned his hug, wrapping her free arm around him. She refused to let go of Rick's hand. She didn't realize how much she had missed Reno and the time she'd spent with her family until this very moment. Feeling herself on the verge of tears, she pulled back from the hug. "Thank you for having us."

"Good to see you both," Jackson replied, giving Rick a hearty pat on the back. "Lyv said you two were just stopping by on your way out of town for a few days. Gonna get away and isolate yourselves somewhere safe, I hope. This virus stuff is getting pretty damn scary."

Rick nodded as the other man stepped back, following him inside the beautiful house. He cast a sidelong look at Kayla, chuckling. "Something like that. We've both been working so hard lately, it's almost a welcome vacation – well-earned, even. With the Strip closed down completely, we thought it'd be a good plan to get away from it all for a few days. Rest and recharge ourselves."

"It's definitely been a crazy few weeks." She gave Rick's hand a squeeze as she shut the door behind them. "Getting away is just what we need."

It was at this moment Lyv Jackson joined them in the foyer. She had a warm smile on her face. "The two of you look so cute together!" There weren't enough words to describe how happy Lyv was that Rick and Kayla had gotten together. She'd had a feeling that when they met, that would be it for both of them – the way they both seemed to radiate happiness made her feel so much pride. "I'm so happy." She pulled Kayla in for a hug and then followed it with one for Rick. "And you look wonderful."

Rick hugged Lyv tight, tighter than he had her husband, a bright smile on his face. "I feel good. Better than ever." He looked over at Kayla, "she's had that effect on me. If I could bottle what she does, I'd be a billionaire."

"You both compliment each other." Lyv said as she took a step back so that she could put an arm around Jax's waist. She could see just in their faces how happy they were. She couldn't recall ever seeing Kayla or Rick look this content; they did, though. "Well are you guys hungry? We have plenty of food, I made a grocery run this morning to stock up. People are nuts!"

Kayla settled next to Rick as Lyv started to lead them to the living room where she had already set out drinks and appetizers. "Where are the kids?" Kayla asked as she took a seat on the couch.

"Staying with Ellie tonight. We figured it would be best." Lyv took a seat next to Jax. "I know they would have loved to see you."

Rick sat down next to Kayla, resting his hand on her knee. "Wouldn't want to risk it," he looked sheepish, "but you'll tell them we give them hugs and kisses."

"Of course," Lyv said with a warm smile. "We didn't tell them you were coming – didn't want to disappoint them. Plus now that the two of you are so close, there can be loads of visits."

"Absolutely." Kayla put her hand on top of Rick's and looked at him, her body a ball of nerves. "So, we wanted to stop by to thank you for helping us find each other and uhm..." she looked to Rick to continue.

"And we have news." Rick flashed his most charming smile. Immediately, Lyv's eyes were on Kayla. "I'm not sure what you're going to think of it...but we did something." He hesitated, looking over at Kayla. "I asked her to marry me."

"You did? Congratu-"

He cut her off, "I did. And with the world going to hell in a hand-basket and the uncertainty that we could see coming... we didn't feel like waiting."

"Surprise!" Kayla said as she held up her hand, revealing her rose gold wedding band. She immediately regretted shouting surprise as silence fell over them. She bowed her head, looking embarrassed.

Lyv stared at both of them, the news sinking in. The smile on her face had faded, the shock apparent. "When... um... did this happen?"

"The seventeenth," Rick replied, looking sheepish.

"Wow, I can honestly say that I wasn't expecting this." Lyv wasn't exactly sure how she felt. Of course, if they were happy then she was. However, there was hurt that was starting to set in that she hadn't been able to be there. "Congratulations."

"We're going to have a celebration – when all this virus nonsense is over and done with. We plan to renew our vows then. Have a real wedding." Rick looked back and forth between Lyv and her husband who sat there with his arms folded, not saying a word. "I just really wanted..." he chuckled, trailing off.

Kayla bit down on her lower lip as she held onto Rick's hand. There was tension in the air now and more than anything, she wanted to lessen it. "We didn't do this to leave anyone out."

"Absolutely not," Rick nodded.

"It felt right." Kayla's voice came out soft as she tried to explain their motivation. "With everything else going on..."

"We needed to do it." Rick gave her hand a squeeze. "She's the only thing that matters. We didn't want to waste time."

Kayla's gaze shifted to Jackson, a sort of understanding passing between them. "When you know, you know." She repeated the words he'd said to her eight years ago, "right?"

"Something like that," Jackson replied with a nod. "We get it."

Rick stared at him; his eyes narrowed slightly as he waited for a punchline. "Why do I feel like we're going to be grounded for a week with no TV?"

Lyv leaned over and grabbed a glass that she'd filled with ice water and lemon. "I understand just wanting to go with it, but did you guys think this through? I mean, do you want the same things?"

"We do." Rick answered quickly, glancing over at Kayla.

"Absolutely we do." Kayla gave Rick a loving smile before looking back at Lyv and Jax. "We've done a lot of talking, before we even officially got together. Everything about Rick and I... for the first time in my life, I feel whole." She felt herself start to tear up, but she wiped them away. "Since I told Rick about the basement and everything that happened... things don't hurt so much. I've had nightmares in the past that I've woken up screaming from. Now though, I wake up and he's there, holding me and I know I'm safe and that I'm always going to be safe. After telling him..."

"She knows: I'm not going anywhere," Rick cut in softly.

"I'm not ashamed of my scars."

Rick flashed them a tight smile. "I'm not going to hurt her, guys. I promise you that."

"I know you won't." Lyv said this as she took a drink from her water. "Like I've said, I knew you would be good together." A warm smile crossed her face after a moment. "I love you both very much and as long as this is what you both want, then I couldn't be happier. I'm still pissed that I missed the wedding."

"Her grandparents are, too. That's why we're going to have a redo." Rick shrugged, "what's done is done. The way things have played out in the world since? I'm glad we went through with it."

"The only thing we can do now is plan this second wedding and have everyone there." Kayla said as she looked at her cousin. "Trust me when I say that going through with it making it legal like we did was just a formality. I mean I was given away by an Elvis impersonator – totally not my dream scenario." She laughed to herself as she gave her husband's hand a squeeze. "All you missed was us signing a piece of paper – this celebration, though, this is for the people we love."

Lyv nodded as she considered what Kayla said. "It makes sense and I think it goes without saying that if either of you need anything, I am ready to play the role of wedding planner."

"That would be great; I could definitely use the help." Kayla smiled as she turned to Rick. "How about it? We let Lyv spearhead talking to caterers and other vendors?"

"I'm sure she has the connections. Absolutely." Rick grinned, "should we have the reception at Lux or is that too self-indulgent?" He grew serious, "would you want to have it in Mississippi? I'm fine with either, to be honest. I just want everyone to be happy – I already am. This isn't about me anymore."

When Mississippi was suggested, Kayla shook her head. She had grown up there and had some good memories, but there was also a share of bad ones. "Our life is in Las Vegas. That's where we should start this new chapter."

"I'd like that. I've lived in so many places over the years. Now, though? I feel it is home." He favored her with a gentle smile and it was as though they were the only ones in the room for a moment. "That's wholly your fault."

Kayla's head turned so she was looking at Rick. "That goes both ways. There isn't anywhere else I would ever dream of living now."

Lyv studied them both, that same smile on her face as before. She reached for her husband's hand, giving it a squeeze before standing up. "Alright, let's go eat. We can discuss wedding plans while stuffing our faces!" It was clear to everyone that Lyv was over the moon that she was going to be helping with their wedding. She hooked her arm through Kayla's, spiriting her from the room in a gale of delighted laughter, leaving the two men behind.

Jackson moved to his feet slowly, his eyes locked on Rick. "You love her."

It was a statement, not a question. Rick chose to answer it though, nodding as he moved to his feet, far more graceful than the man across from him, even though they were only seven years apart in age. "With all my heart and soul – I'll do anything for her."

"Good." Jackson nodded, turning to look towards the doorway the ladies had gone through. When he turned back, he was stone-faced serious. "She needs that."