FOR THE HONOR OF BEIGESKULL! [PrimeTime I]
Apr 29, 2020 20:28:09 GMT -5
Post by Admin on Apr 29, 2020 20:28:09 GMT -5
The screen comes to life, showing a guy a little on the smaller side sitting on a very dented black metal folding chair. He's against a plain cinder block wall and the lighting is terrible, as though this is in some dank basement with a single light-bulb on a wire. He looks off camera for a moment, and if it wasn't for the beard on his cheeks and chin, he might look like he's barely out of puberty. The silver hairs that stand out against the darker blond tell a different story, though – one that's far less kind. He fidgets slightly, clasping his left hand over his right as though he wants to hide it before letting out a soft sigh. He lifts his left hand up and scratches idly at his cheek before finally breaking the silence.
"It's been a minute since I had to do one of these things. Oblige me while I scrape off a little rust?"
There's a piped in sound of a restless and roaring crowd but he speaks over the noise.
"Hello. My name is Max Ironside–"
The crowd noise cuts off immediately into silence and crickets. He chuckles softly, shaking his head.
"–you might remember me from such spectacular failures as the OCW Block Party Tournament finals of 2019 and/or Defiant Wrestling in 2017."
He looks down at his feet as the camera pans out slightly, showing a tumbleweed blowing past as the crickets grow just a teensy bit louder.
"Right. Well. I don't actually expect any sort of reputation to precede me. I've spent a lot of time toiling away in the shadows, doing my best to fight the good fight and find my way into the bigger spotlight. I thought I'd finally managed to pull that off. I thought that this, here and now in 2020, could be a fresh start for me. A moment to leave the past few years of dismal disappointments behind me. I'm not actually trying to inspire anyone with the sad tale of my journey here. Not really. My personal victory, my struggle to even make it into the ring – into living rooms across the world – is more what this journey is about. Well, rather, it was."
He has a bitter smile on his face and the lights grow brighter, revealing more of the surroundings. The wall looks beige now. More stone-like. Almost like a castle?
"Heroes and villains alike, we all have our own origin stories. And some of us..."
Again, he glances off camera, obviously talking to someone else when he says:
"I know. I'm getting to it. There's a finesse to storytelling. Geez."
Flashing a sheepish smile, he lifts his good hand up, cupping it over the back of his neck for a moment as his head bows. He takes a few slow breaths, remaining still. His other hand in his lap looks awkward, almost painful with the way his wrist is bent and fingers are splayed. The crickets are gone. Music starts to play, something inspiring, letting you know this part is important and stuff.
"I've faced hardships for my whole wrestling career – my entire life – but none are more daunting than what the universe has presented me with this week. I was the second-to-last to sign with the company for this championship tournament. Patiently, I awaited my opponent, never dreaming it would be a face... or, rather, the lack thereof... that's haunted my nightmares – and those of my family – for years. You see, Boneius, I'm not really Max Ironside, the 'Handicapped Hero' from Battle Creek, Michigan. I'm actually from Figmentia, the sister-kingdom of Foreverton. My true name is Shit Hawk. I was once a swashbuckling and sea shanty-loving pirate, captain of the Good Ship Lollypop, plundering the high seas of Figmentia. That is, until I met and fell in love with her..."
He holds his hand out and a gorgeous blonde walks into frame as he stands – she's dressed in a very revealing white skirt and matching corset top that’s adorned with gold and jewels. There's a golden tiara atop her hair and she's carrying a large sword strapped to her back.
"This is Ray-Na, the long-lost twin sister of Man-He, whom we all know is the true ruler and resident badass of the Kingdom of Foreverton. That's right, Boneius. Of all the alternate dimensions you could have chosen to conquer in your latest quest for power, you chose the one being protected by The Princess of Power and her trusty husband-slash-sidekick! We may be in witness pro... errr, I mean on vacation in this realm, but that doesn't mean we won't take a moment to ERADICATE EVIL!"
Max strikes a heroic pose and Rayna rests her hand on his shoulder, looking smug. She turns her head and looks at the camera, eyes narrowed.
"You are nothing more than an old bag of bones and I cannot wait to join my husband at ringside to watch your inevitable demise! He will destroy you. FOR THE HONOR OF..."
The two exchange a triumphant look before shouting in unison as Ray-Na holds her sword aloft:
"BEIGESKULL!"
Lightning flashes. Super-heroic music plays as the pair continue to pose before the image star-wipes out to chartreuse. Fading to black is so cliché, after all.
"It's been a minute since I had to do one of these things. Oblige me while I scrape off a little rust?"
There's a piped in sound of a restless and roaring crowd but he speaks over the noise.
"Hello. My name is Max Ironside–"
The crowd noise cuts off immediately into silence and crickets. He chuckles softly, shaking his head.
"–you might remember me from such spectacular failures as the OCW Block Party Tournament finals of 2019 and/or Defiant Wrestling in 2017."
He looks down at his feet as the camera pans out slightly, showing a tumbleweed blowing past as the crickets grow just a teensy bit louder.
"Right. Well. I don't actually expect any sort of reputation to precede me. I've spent a lot of time toiling away in the shadows, doing my best to fight the good fight and find my way into the bigger spotlight. I thought I'd finally managed to pull that off. I thought that this, here and now in 2020, could be a fresh start for me. A moment to leave the past few years of dismal disappointments behind me. I'm not actually trying to inspire anyone with the sad tale of my journey here. Not really. My personal victory, my struggle to even make it into the ring – into living rooms across the world – is more what this journey is about. Well, rather, it was."
He has a bitter smile on his face and the lights grow brighter, revealing more of the surroundings. The wall looks beige now. More stone-like. Almost like a castle?
"Heroes and villains alike, we all have our own origin stories. And some of us..."
Again, he glances off camera, obviously talking to someone else when he says:
"I know. I'm getting to it. There's a finesse to storytelling. Geez."
Flashing a sheepish smile, he lifts his good hand up, cupping it over the back of his neck for a moment as his head bows. He takes a few slow breaths, remaining still. His other hand in his lap looks awkward, almost painful with the way his wrist is bent and fingers are splayed. The crickets are gone. Music starts to play, something inspiring, letting you know this part is important and stuff.
"I've faced hardships for my whole wrestling career – my entire life – but none are more daunting than what the universe has presented me with this week. I was the second-to-last to sign with the company for this championship tournament. Patiently, I awaited my opponent, never dreaming it would be a face... or, rather, the lack thereof... that's haunted my nightmares – and those of my family – for years. You see, Boneius, I'm not really Max Ironside, the 'Handicapped Hero' from Battle Creek, Michigan. I'm actually from Figmentia, the sister-kingdom of Foreverton. My true name is Shit Hawk. I was once a swashbuckling and sea shanty-loving pirate, captain of the Good Ship Lollypop, plundering the high seas of Figmentia. That is, until I met and fell in love with her..."
He holds his hand out and a gorgeous blonde walks into frame as he stands – she's dressed in a very revealing white skirt and matching corset top that’s adorned with gold and jewels. There's a golden tiara atop her hair and she's carrying a large sword strapped to her back.
"This is Ray-Na, the long-lost twin sister of Man-He, whom we all know is the true ruler and resident badass of the Kingdom of Foreverton. That's right, Boneius. Of all the alternate dimensions you could have chosen to conquer in your latest quest for power, you chose the one being protected by The Princess of Power and her trusty husband-slash-sidekick! We may be in witness pro... errr, I mean on vacation in this realm, but that doesn't mean we won't take a moment to ERADICATE EVIL!"
Max strikes a heroic pose and Rayna rests her hand on his shoulder, looking smug. She turns her head and looks at the camera, eyes narrowed.
"You are nothing more than an old bag of bones and I cannot wait to join my husband at ringside to watch your inevitable demise! He will destroy you. FOR THE HONOR OF..."
The two exchange a triumphant look before shouting in unison as Ray-Na holds her sword aloft:
"BEIGESKULL!"
Lightning flashes. Super-heroic music plays as the pair continue to pose before the image star-wipes out to chartreuse. Fading to black is so cliché, after all.
