TWENTY-FOUR: God Is Gracious [FLASHBACK]

The weather was awful, hinting that they'd probably have another cold and rainy Halloween this year. Charity had spent the majority of the day in bed, not even bothering to get up after Bruce had left for work before the sun was up. She'd felt absolutely awful. She was only a few weeks away from her due date with their first child and there was a sneaking suspicion that she was dealing with contractions. At the beginning of the day whatever was going on didn't feel bad, just uncomfortable. She'd read some of the books that Bruce had around the house, had looked through enough to know that sometimes there were phantom pains before the big day.

She was pretty sure it was the real deal when the pain started to come more frequently, when it started to come in longer waves. It was already close to midnight and Bruce was due home any moment. Charity had managed to get a shower and changed into her favorite articles of clothing. She was sporting one of Bruce's over-sized and ragged Harley Davidson shirts, a pair of baggy sweatpants, and knit socks. She was bundled up in the many blankets on their bed and laying on her side because it was the only comfortable position. She prayed that she wasn't in labor yet. She wasn't ready. She was terrified of childbirth and everything that came after it.

She was startled after hearing the front door open and then close. Breathing a sigh of relief that Bruce was home, she was going to do her best to act as though everything was normal. If he knew she was having contractions, he'd be adamant that they needed to get to the hospital. Sighing, she focused on her breathing and closed her eyes, steeling herself because she knew the next wave was coming soon.

The floor outside the bedroom creaked and then she heard the jingle of her husband's wallet chain as he unclipped it from his belt, letting it drop on the dresser. Tonight, he'd pulled a double shift, working at the studio all day and filling in as security at his cousin's club until the college rush ended around midnight. Sitting down on the end of the mattress, he pulled off his motorcycle boots, setting them carefully under the edge of the bed. "Can tell you're not asleep, love." He said conversationally, chuckling softly as he rested a hand on her leg.

"Couldn't fall asleep yet," Charity placed a hand over his, "I was waiting for you." She felt relieved that he was home. "I missed you," she murmured, giving his hand a squeeze before moving it down to press on her stomach. There was another wave of pain coming over her but she gritted her teeth, glad that she had her back to him for the moment. She closed her eyes, trying to remember how to breathe, willing it to pass. "So..." she tried to distract herself with conversation, "are you working a double tomorrow, too?"

He let out a sigh, shaking his head. "Nae, love." He glanced at the clock, seeing it was actually after midnight, "it's Thursday. Technically... only day off for the next ten, the way it's lookin' right now. Mebbe we make a day of it, hmm?" He turned towards her, flashing a devilish grin that faded when he saw her face. "Lookin' a little peely-wally, Babylove. Everything alright?"

"Yeah, just feeling uncomfortable. Ready to have this kid." Inhaling through her nose, Charity pushed herself into a sitting position. The contraction had passed and so she at least had a bit of relief. She matched his grin with a smile as she held out her hand to him. "Making a day of it sounds wonderful."

"Mmmhmm..." he took her hand, lifting it to his lips. He kissed each of her knuckles and then her wrist, working his way down her arm. "Thinkin' we spend the day in bed... eat crackers in the sheets. Tae hell with the crumbs. I'll rub that coconut cream all over every inch of yeh. How's that sound?"

It all sounded like heaven to her. They hadn't had a day like that in awhile. He worked so much and as much as she hated it, she knew he was doing it for their family. "I want that more than anything." Leaning in as best as she could, she was able to kiss him. "Better get in a day like that while we can."

His hands came down on either side of her and he pushed her back against the pillows, kissing her back. He let out a playful growl when the kiss broke, winking at her. "Could get started on that right now, if you're so inclined..." He didn't care that she was pregnant as a house – she was still the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"When am I not inclined?" She gave him a grin as her hands rested on his cheeks. She kissed him again, her hands moving down his neck and then to his shoulders. At this point she felt another contraction come over her, causing her a little moan of pain. It came just as Bruce's lips met hers and it was easy for him to mistake it for one of passion.

"Mmmmm, hello." Her husband's tone held appreciation for the reaction he thought he was getting.

This contraction had been more painful than the others and she wasn't sure how much longer she was going to be able to carry on pretending it wasn't happening. "I missed you so much." She went to kiss him again as she waited out this one.

"Likewise," he chuckled against her lips, easing off her enough that he could stretch out beside her as his hand came to rest on her belly. He'd been doing that a lot lately, as if he couldn't get enough of marvelling at the life that was growing inside of her. "Today was rough," he murmured, "all the tits an' arse... large as life. Was finishing the last editing on that damned Brant Stroker's Dracula, goin' out tomorrow on the site to all the VIP's in time for Halloween."

The contraction passed once again, causing her to relax as best as she could. She put a hand over his on her belly and enjoyed this for the moment. "Do you think the studio will let you have any time off when we have the baby?"

"Oh, aye," he nodded. "Already given my notice, love. I'll be done until December, at least."

The prospect of him being done with the porn studio altogether held more appeal, but she wasn't about to open that can of worms again.

"I'll be at the bar less, as well. Maureen said she'll only have me there on delivery day... every other Wednesday. Not so bad." He didn't tell her that he was still worried about money even though he'd saved almost ten thousand already. Giving up the apartment had certainly helped. "Mebbe if we're lucky, our little one'll come on All Hallows. Little devil, just like their Ma." Gently, he pulled her on top of him, his hands already slipping under that over-sized shirt of his that she had on.

With his hands on her she'd been distracted, unprepared for the next round of pain – she couldn't help the way her body responded to his touch. It had always been that way. She was leaning in to kiss him as she was brought back to reality by a strange sort of pressure and then a feeling of dampness in her pajama pants. "Oh... shit," she gasped as she looked down at Bruce, her eyes wide.

"Cherry... wha-" taking in her expression of horror, he didn't know what to think until he felt his lap where she was straddling him starting to feel just a little damp.

"My... oh God..." she struggled to find her voice, "my water just broke." The words came out in almost a whisper as she climbed off of him. "There's been pain and I thought... it's not time yet. I thought maybe I could hold it off but I've been having contractions all day."

"Hold it..." he stared at her like she'd sprouted a second head, "are yeh daft?! That's nae..." he struggled to sit up, feeling a huge surge of adrenaline as the panic set in. "We've gotta get tae the hospital – did we even pack that bag?"

"I uh, I thought I had more time. They aren't supposed to be here for three weeks." Knowing that this was actually happening, she almost felt frozen in fear. "I'm not ready, Bruce. I'm the mother and the kid has to listen to me." She looked down at her stomach. "You can't be here yet."

Bruce stood next to the bed, trying to remember where he'd left the car keys the last time he'd used it. He couldn't very well drive her to the hospital on the back of his bike. "Well... fuck." He turned around and looked at her, "I don't think they're gonna listen, love. Don't wanna leave 'em in too long. Might... overcook?" He tried to laugh, sounding almost manic as he went to the closet and grabbed the old green army duffel that he'd brought his clothes over in and started randomly shoving things into it. He wanted to freak out that she hadn't told him but the reality hadn't set in yet. He was in shock, trying to compensate. "Where's yer Da? When's he due back?"

She finally got off the bed and started getting some of the things she thought that she may need. "I think Saturday... maybe tomorrow?" She at least had packed a bag for the baby. She had enough sense to change her pants and underwear so that she had dry clothes. "Should you call your cousins?"

He shook his head, pulling the drawstring on the bag tight. "Nobody'll answer. If I'm gonna leave a message anyhow, may as well do it later." He crossed to the doorway, still in his socks – he didn't even realize he wasn't wearing shoes and he'd left his wallet on the dresser too. "C'mon, love. Gotta get there. No way am deliverin' this one in the middle of the livin' room of yer Da's house."

"Okay... let's do this." She followed him, but not before grabbing his wallet and his shoes. A strange sort of calm fell over her. It was happening, no matter if they were ready or not.



Once they had arrived at the hospital, it took some time to get Charity into a room. Her contractions had stayed about the same and she had a feeling they were going to be in for a long night. She couldn't keep her eyes off of Bruce, he had to be exhausted even though he was pacing around the room.

"Honey, why don't you lay down with me?" Charity knew he didn't want to miss any moment of this but he'd been up for almost 24 hours at this point. "You've got to be exhausted and they said it might be a while until I'm fully dilated." There was an ulterior motive to her request. He looked terrified, as if he might bolt and that old fear that she was going to lose him came creeping back.

"I lay down, I'll never get back up," he replied.

Charity bit her lip, holding out her hand to him. "You look like you're going to fall over. Please?"

Bruce looked at her as though he was suddenly afraid to even touch her, shaking his head. "Mebbe some coffee instead."

She was ready to frown and could feel her bottom lip start to quiver, but she swallowed it back. "Don't think anything is going to happen for a while, so take your time." She laid her head back with her hands on her stomach. "I'm all good here." She gave him a thumbs-up and blinked away the tears that wanted to fall.

He saw that quiver, heard the tremble in her voice and it broke his heart. "Am right here. Sufferin' right along with yeh, awright?" He smoothed her hair back from her forehead and kissed her gently there, breathing in the scent of her skin rather than the terrible disinfectant smell of the room around them. "It'll be over soon... then yeh can rest without all that discomfort. When that time comes... I'll rest. Not before."

"I don't know if I can do this..." she looked up at him, sniffling. "It's gonna hurt so bad and it's gonna take so long. Are we ready for this? Can't we just postpone? Hey... go grab a doctor or a nurse. They can maybe give me a shot to delay it. I read something about that in the books."

He laughed and then realized how awful that was. "Don't think they can stop it once it's begun." He glanced at the door, "I'll ask. If yeh want." Sobering, he pulled the chair closer with his foot and rested his knee on it as he bent over the bed. "If yeh think yeh can't handle this... there's always adoption." Even as he said it, he felt a pang, knowing he couldn't do that. He was already in love with this little person. "I'll talk tae the doctor, love." He gave her hand a squeeze and then walked out of the room before she could call him back.

"Oh... no." He was already out of the room before she could elaborate. Of course, she wanted this baby and there was no chance she would have ever considered giving away their child. The part that scared her was how much it was going to hurt. She had heard horror stories from other mothers and she'd even had a couple nightmares. When Bruce came back, she'd let him know. Her focus then was shifted to her next contraction which was certainly worse than it had been before.

When he returned, he had two Styrofoam cups in hand and a tired smile on his face. "They said they can give yeh somethin' for the pain. They'll be in for tha' shortly. In the meantime..." he set one of the cups down beside the bed and took the lid off the other, holding it out to her. "Ice chips," he explained, "the nurse said yeh might need them. Mebbe it'll help?"

"No..." the word came out on a hissed breath on the tail end of another contraction, "adoption. I... want this kid." With her eyes shut tight, she rode out the painful wave and when it was over, she laid her head back. "I'm just scared of this part." She felt so tired and had no idea how she was going to keep going.

"No adoption," he agreed, sounding relieved. "Wish there was somethin' I could do, love." Bruce dipped his fingers into the cup and pulled out an ice chip, letting it slide down to his palm before holding out his hand. Before she could take it, he slipped his hand around to the back of her neck, pressing the ice there to melt between her warm skin and his hand. "Mebbe... can distract, hmmm?"

Inhaling deeply, she shrugged. "Maybe." The ice against her neck felt heavenly. "Thank you." The words came out softly as she finally looked up at her husband. "I love you so much."

"And I, you." He murmured, favouring her with a gentle smile. "This is gonna go fine. Can feel it in me bones. We've got this..." when that cube had melted, he replaced it with another. "Have a little faith."

"Yeah." She smiled tiredly up at him as she grabbed his other hand. "We've got this." With him there, she knew they could get through it.

Eight hours had passed since Charity had been admitted into the hospital and there was still no baby. The sun was up now and both mother and father looked like they'd seen better days. She was sweaty and exhausted. They'd finally given her something for the pain and told her that she was ready to start pushing. The medication had helped but the contractions were a lot more painful than she had ever dreamed of. Bruce was there and she could hear his words of encouragement and felt his hand in hers.

Each time she pushed, silently she told herself it was one less time she'd have to do it. She had been pushing and in the most pain she'd ever dealt with when she heard the doctor say to push one more time. Using the last bits of strength she was convinced she had, Charity pushed. As she did the sound of newborn's wails filled the delivery room. Arching her neck to see, Charity set eyes on her child for the first time and at that moment she felt a love she hadn't even known possible. Her head went back with a smile on her face and it wasn't long after they put the baby on her chest.

Bruce had passed the point of exhaustion hours ago, having been up for more than twenty-four hours straight and everything had a sort of surreal cinematic quality to it. He felt Charity's hand in his, felt her nails digging into his skin with every last push and he was trying his best to push his last bits of strength into her. He'd been by her side the whole time and he could tell from the way the nurses were bustling around in the periphery that it was nearing the end. When the doctor told her to push one last time, he whispered a prayer for it to be healthy. They'd avoided learning whether it was a boy or girl and he knew deep down it didn't matter. He'd love whatever it was with every fiber of his being either way. When he heard those first wails of the slippery little newborn, he couldn't help the tears that sprang to his eyes. He couldn't help the way he dropped Charity's hand and staggered back a step as the wall of emotion hit him like a tidal wave and he bumped into the table, sending a tray of instruments clattering to the floor.

He saw that wrinkled little face, the tiny little hands and feet before they'd swaddled it in a pink-striped blanket and his heart felt like it would burst. It was a girl. A beautiful, perfect little girl.

Holding her daughter and looking down at that sweet little face and a head of red hair, Charity was a goner. "Oh, my baby girl." Teary-eyed, she leaned over and kissed the baby on the top of her head. "Bruce... look at her." She was in complete awe and couldn't look away from the baby.

"She's an angel, no doubt." His voice shook as he rested his hand on Charity's shoulder, his eyes fixed on both girls, thinking he was the luckiest man alive. Tears streamed down his cheeks, unchecked and unnoticed. "God is gracious..." he murmured the words, letting Charity know the meaning of the name he'd chosen for their little bundle. "Hello, Siobahn. Hello angel. I'm yer Da."