chapter two: almost was

Sin City || Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Stupid touristy Vegas.

Kasey paced in front of The Luxor's Sphinx, waiting for Landon to show up and every skinny guy who passed by made her heart lurch until she realized it wasn't him.

Stupid Vossler. Stupid Twitter. Where did the guy get off butting into something that wasn't his business? Sure, she was going to tell him, but not like that. Not in public for everyone to see because that was way too much like the time Kyle Kilmeade dumped her over social media. "Oh God," she whispered under her breath, wringing her hands, "he's gonna hate me."  

Jack's little training area and gym where he'd been earlier wasn't a terribly long distance from the Luxor. Being a few blocks down Dean Martin Drive, he'd chosen to just make the walk. The area, after all, had become second nature to maneuver around the gawking masses of people. He'd recognize that shade of hair color from any distance and jerked the earbuds out of his ears to let them rest around his neck. "It's hot out here--must be Summer," he said with a grin as cheesy as the line he'd used.

The relief on Kasey's face was almost comical, shifting to a tentative smile at the cheesy line. She resisted the urge to hug him for about ten seconds before flinging herself at him, wrapping her arms around him. "You came! I mean, of course you did because you're you and you don't lie but I almost half expected you to just..."

"Just stand you up?" he asked with a laugh in an attempt to finish her sentence. He returned the embrace with a respectable placement of hand against her back. "Never, babe. I value my life."

"Well not like... today I'd probably let it slide. Given the... uhm... stuff." She pulled back from the hug, looking up at him expectantly. "I'm sorry about those guys from Brutal Force Wrestling. They're just... they're legit crazy and uhm... they really don't know how to act like humans in public. Honest." She grabbed his hand, tugging him a little further away from the hordes of tourists. "I gotta tell you something and you're gonna probably get mad at me for it."  

He followed her lead by a slight distance before his stride matched hers. "Those guys are morons--I dunno why you even talk to them." He slid his hands into the pockets of his black, ripped knee jeans, and his shoulders hunched into a shrug. "What's up?"

"Okay," Kasey fidgeted with the sleeves of her own leopard print hoodie, "you remember how we said we were gonna take things slow? And like, how I told you I really liked you a lot and stuff? Well, I mean, that didn't change. I'm not trying to say it did or anything. It's just... okay, you know why I've been going to Boston, right? For training? With Akragth?"

Landon nodded. "Yeah, I know you told me that." He could tell she was struggling with the discussion which left him feeling antsy himself. "You're getting a lot of training in--can't fault you for that."

"It's... it's not really just training. At least not anymore. We kinda... we went for dinner the other night and then I got super drunk at karaoke and... well..." she broke off, shaking her head, "that's not what matters. Sunday night, I did something. I mean, I wanna say I regret it, I really do. And I mean mostly because even if we didn't put a label on stuff between us, it felt like there coulda been and I kinda... well." She sighed, biting her lip, her face almost as red as her hair. "I......spent the night with him."

The antsy turned to a complete gutted feeling and he stopped in his tracks. He didn't mean to laugh, but the sheer irony of the situation was amusing. From the way he'd coldly dumped Rayna to this conversation--ludicrous. His hand slipped out from his right pocket and smoothed his hair down to a full face wipe. "You--slept with him--basically is what you're saying, yeah?" He turned a cold shoulder to her and continued pawing at his face before inhaling sharply and letting his hand fall back to his side. "Of course you did. Why the hell not."

"Yeah. That's what happened." Kasey felt like she was on the verge of tears, the certainty that she'd just completely trashed what they might have had making her feel sick to her stomach. "Landon... I swear... I didn't mean for it, okay? It just kinda..."

"Happened? Yeah I get it," he griped. "Look--." He rubbed at his eyes again and thought over his words carefully. "You're a big girl, Kase--and yeah--we're not--you're allowed to do whatever and whoever the hell you want." He shrugged as the words he wanted to say were failing.

"I know that, but I still feel like I owe you an explanation. An apology or like... something? Because you're supposed to... you were gonna..." she shook her head, chin quivering as she tried to hold back her tears. "I'm a shitty, shitty person."

It was tearing him apart to see her so upset. "You're not a shitty person," he sighed as he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her. He tangled his fingers in her hair and squeezed her against him.

"I don't wanna hurt you." Kasey's voice came out muffled against his chest, "be-because you're... you're important. And you're nice. And... you've been so great and..." her arms wrapped tight around him, hugging him back.  

His mind screamed then don't, but he said nothing for what felt like forever while he consoled her. "I just want you to be happy, Kasey." Which wasn't entirely a lie--he just wanted to be the one who made her happy. "And if that's who makes you happy--then--yeah."

She was quiet for a few moments, enjoying how good it felt to be in his arms. "See, but that's the problem." She finally pulled back a little, looking up at him as she sniffled. "I don't know. I like him. I like you. And you're both so different..."

He forced a smile despite the mixture of emotions that spun inside of him like a tornado ripping through his heart and mind. "Choosing sucks--I know--you're the reason I left Rayna," he confessed. "--but you're gonna have to."

Kasey sighed softly, shaking her head slowly. "No. Don't tell me that's why... tell me it's because she was crazy or clingy or whatever... just don't say it's because of me. That just makes it harder."

"Don't worry about that--I wanted to know you long before I met her--OK," he said softly. "Take your time--figure it out. No matter what--I'll deal."

"Okay." Her voice came out small, a little bob of her head to accompany it. "Don't be mad though? I mean... it's not your fault." She glanced over her shoulder at the hotel, "you wanna maybe get coffee with me?"

"Nah," he mumbled as he backed away from her slowly. "--I need to get back to the gym. I'll see you at training." He extended his fingers into a peace sign and turned on his heels to return the direction he'd travelled.