chapter three: mistakes

FLASHBACK-- Phoenix || Friday, January 18, 2013

The petite girl sat cross-legged on the leather chair behind the desk in the office at Wild Ones, staring at the screen on her laptop with a smile on her face. Frozen in mid-move was a highly pixellated YouTube video of a heavily tattooed man with spiky hair. Tiled next to that, she had her Twitter account, the sunny yellow background a stark contrast to the darkness of the video. "Perfect," she murmured, saving the video into her favorites list before closing out of the website, resolving to ask Bryan to show her how to do a sweep kick the next time she saw him at the ExPro training center.

Staring at the pile of mail in the basket on the corner of the desk, she sighed. At eighteen, she'd felt grossly unprepared to run the school even though her uncle had left it to her in his will. She was twenty-one now and after two years taking business management courses at the University, she'd actually been making a halfway decent go of it. So many things had changed since then.

She'd risen to almost meteoric success in FFW only to have her very title reign tainted by the near-scandal of who she was dating. She'd denied the accusations at the time, only to find out later that Kyle had been trying to undermine her in every way imaginable. When she'd lost the Television title, he'd lost interest – of course he had. He'd blamed it on the fact that she wanted to leave Chicago in favor of training in Fort Lauderdale with Christian Kincaid, but she'd never been as stupid as people thought she was. She'd seen the videos. She'd watched him hanging all over Samara and Aly, letting them kiss him while the cameras were rolling, acting just like that doting boyfriend she remembered all too well.

It hurt and the longer the charade went on, the harder it got to swallow.

She'd pulled out in November, opting to go home and immerse herself back in the day-to-day operations of the school. She'd used Kitty Stryfe's death as an excuse but the truth was, she'd never properly grieved for her uncle. She hoped in some way that if she left it alone, it would take care of itself.

At least diving into the day-to-day operations of Wild Ones helped. Paying the bills and making sure their last class of students were getting ready to trickle out into the indies had been a good way to lose herself and avoid the sadness the holidays had brought with them. She hadn't been alone for the holidays since her uncle's death. Now she couldn't help but think of what she was missing.

Her iPhone buzzed, drawing her attention. She touched the screen, grinning at the sight of the capital letters and multiple exclamation points that generally constituted one of Jin's messages. Typing a quick reply, she chuckled and shook her head. It was feast or famine, it seemed. Since Kyle, she'd been dividing time between here and Flagstaff, pretending that she was fine with being alone. She'd watched the new prospects going through the motions she couldn't help but think of that bastard who'd broken her heart. Since November last year, everything seemed to circle back to him. He'd poisoned her existence.

She made a disgusted sound as she lifted her head, surprised to find WBR standing in the doorway.

"Hey, Bill," she said softly, peering up through her disheveled hair at the barrel-chested former grappler. "Something on your mind?"

"Kase, we need to talk." All serious, the look on his face made her hands shake. He held a piece of paper, what looked like a contract – shit! Had she forgotten and left it in the fax machine?

Swallowing hard, she shook her head, pushing her hands under her legs so he couldn't see them shaking. It didn't do much to mask the way her slender frame was trembling. She felt positively dwarfed as he moved into the room, leaning against the desk next to her.

"California? The RIMAC Arena? That fellow in charge is a snake, Kasey. That place is a disgrace-"

"They want me, Bill. Warts and all." She said slowly, watching his reaction. "I know I told you I was only going to do that Invitational match to dip my toes back in but they-"

"This is a joke. They've signed you to the kind of deal our worst rooks would turn up their noses to. You don't even get any merchandise rights for a full year. They're not even going to pay you a percentage of the gate. Just a flat appearance fee. This is-"

"It's a foot back in the door," she murmured, looking down at the blotter on the desk, "and besides, it's already sent. You're not my agent and I'm a big girl. I want to get back in the ring and... well... I already signed on the dotted line." She nodded, trying her best to look defiant. "I need to be in California."

He frowned at her, folding his arms over his chest. "Why?"

"There's someone..." her cell phone chose that moment to buzz.

"I see."

"No, it's not like," her phone buzzed again and she looked down at it, losing her train of thought at what she saw. Jin was coming here to visit? "Oh God."

"Kasey?" WBR watched her closely, "what's wrong, kiddo?"

"There's a guy who likes me... and I think he's going to ask me out." She sounded almost flustered as she uncrossed her legs, letting her bare feet smack against the floor. A wince crossed her face, scrunching up her nose. "Ack! Pins and needles!" She shook her legs, laughing softly as the scowl deepened on WBR's face.

"That doesn't sound so awful."

She frowned, looking at her Twitter messages before she turned the screen towards him so he could see the conversations she had going. "He's not the only one... it's complicated. Mikey seems interested, too. But I'm not really... neither of them really... they're okay I guess. Jin makes me laugh but then there's Bryan," she almost swooned when she said his name. She tapped the screen, pointing to the tiny image of Bryan Axel. "He's so dreamy. And he's a martial artist!"

"And old enough to be your father," WBR frowned at the screen for a second before looking back at her. He stared into her eyes intensely, his roguish features appealing, in an almost fatherly way. "He reminds you of Collins, doesn't he?"

Kasey sighed in irritation. "Uhm gross! No! That's long over."

"Better any of these three than the last one, kid. He was nothing but bad news."

"I know," she whispered, "Kyle was a user. I'm not going to fall for that again. So... I don't know how much I'll be around this weekend. Jin's coming to visit."

"We can handle it without you," he said softly, watching her face. It was like tiptoeing through a minefield lately, and he was worried about setting her off on another crying jag. "We're just glad to have you home."

"I was stupid to leave." She said, swallowing a little sob. Necessity betrayed her. She blinked, and tears spattered down on her lap. She bit her lip, looking up at her uncle's best friend with sorrow spilling down her cheeks. "It was a giant mistake. Fort Lauderdale, Kincaid… FFW… RMP… all of it!"

With a sigh, he rounded the desk, and pulled her up into his arms, hugging her tight. "Shhhh, child. You lived and you learned. You can't put a price tag on life experience even if it hurts. Look at all you accomplished, Kase. You went undefeated in RMP until they forced you to lay down for that worthless Ace Andrews. You barely lost a match in FFW, either."

She pulled back from his hug, managing a feeble smile as she reached for the box of Kleenex on the desk. "Thanks," she dabbed at her eyes, "I'm just kinda freaking out, y'know? What if I fall flat on my face in Exodus? What if Jin hates me? What if Bryan takes one look at me and runs the other way or ends up falling for some silicone-boobed freak? I just…" she paused, taking a deep breath.

"Then you still have us, Kasey. You still have the school. You still have Sabra and Layla and I… an' I can assure you none of us care one lick if you lose every single match for the next ten years as long as you go out there and give it your all."

She nodded, seeming so sad as she stared at him, "I just wanna be loved for me. Just once. Not because I'm some sad story or because they look up to you or uncle Billy. I want someone who looks at me and just sees me. Is that so much to ask?"

"Not at all," WBR replied, patting her on the shoulder. "That's what we all want out of life."